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RobinKa
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Reviews: 1011
Location: Wherever I may roam
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 3:58 pm
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| This is very powerful, Elea. The contrast between the captain -- the father that found his sons, alive and unharmed, on the battlefield -- and Eomer, who found his sister and mourned her, is really heart-breaking. Excellent, very emotive challenge entry! Thank you so much for sharing this. |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:44 am |
Thanks, hun! 
I didn't want to get too embedded in angst so I tried to look at it from a slightly happier POV (if that's possible with this scene). |
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LadyBluejay
Joined: 03 Feb 2005
Reviews: 117
Location: UK
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:13 pm
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I have to admit to imaging your Captain as Imrahil - with his three sons!
But whoever - it makes a very powerful piece.
Thanks for the read. LBJ |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:47 am |
I have to admit, I was thinking of Imrahil too. I definitely moddeled the three sons on how I imagine Elphir, Erchirion and Amrothos to be. It doesn't fit with canon-Imrahil (because of when he finds Eowyn in the middle of the battle) but, as this is movie-verse, I suppose it could just as well be him as anyone else.  |
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Sulriel
Joined: 07 Jan 2004
Reviews: 322
Location: Imladris
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Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:25 pm
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| This is very emotional. I'm glad you finished it and posted and got it added to the challenge. Every one of the stories in this challenge have been extraordinary as a group. |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:48 am |
| Thank you for taking the time to read it |
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ElenaTiriel
Joined: 17 Mar 2004
Reviews: 136
Location: The Grey Havens
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Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:17 pm
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Oh, my! What a contrast!
All the details you include help us to look through Imrahil's eyes and actually feel what he feels.
And the counting was just the thing a parent does....
Though he was separated from it by distance, Imrahil's acute observations help us feel Éomer's pain, too.
What a rich and compelling vignette! Great job!
- Barbara |
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| Author's replied on Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:01 am |
| Thank you so much! I so glad you like it and I really appreciate your review. |
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NancyBrooke
Joined: 12 May 2003
Reviews: 564
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
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Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:48 pm
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| Very interesting, Elea. I thought at first I wanted to know who your character was, specifically, but then I was more satisfied that he was unnamed, and so more representative. This story takes on wonderful scope, while remaining tighly focussed, encompassing all warriors in the embodiment only of those who mourned, and those who did not. Well done. |
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| Author's replied on Tue Jan 20, 2009 4:10 pm |
| Thank you so much, Nancy. I really appreciate your feedback. I tried in the beginning to attach the captain to a "real" character but canon went against the scene in my head. In the end, it felt right and proper to keep his identity as unknown. |
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NierielRaina
Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Reviews: 42
Location: Southern Maryland
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Mon Sep 07, 2009 5:52 pm
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| Elea has vividly portrayed the heart of a father in the midst of a battle, searching out and finding his sons. The reader can feel his pride and relief as he counts them off, and also his realization that he has been spared a great grief as he witnesses another soldier who clasps a fallen comrade to them in great remorse and grief. Beautifully written and well portrayed. I'd like to think this Captain is Imrahil, and that he was moved by what he saw and this later might play into allowing his daughter to marry that grieving soldier he saw on the battlefield that day. I love it when stories get me thinking like this. Short, but definitely worth the read. |
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