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Coming Home

Chapter 1: Coming Home

by brindlemom2

Coming Home


Celebrian

The high kingís summons had come at last. It was time for war! The dark clouds of evil growing in the east had distracted you and your counselors for months and now finally it claimed all of your attention.

It was gray that last morning as you and your warriors gathered in the courtyard and formed on the road leading out of the valley. Your face was grim as you watched the captains marshaling them. It was clear your mind was on the trek that lay ahead and the battle waiting at its end. Your foresight had revealed some of what you faced but so much remained veiled.

We stood apart, the other women and I, watching as the warriors prepared to depart. We were all trying to be brave so that your last view of us would not be of tears and sorrow. Yet, we all knew there would be many who would not return and our eyes hungrily followed those most precious trying to burn their image into our memories.

That part of yourself you had shared with me in the past now shrank to little more then a brief glance and occasional smile. Few knew of the depths of passion within you and I had more then once offered to share your bed. Yet, you would not allow it insisting it must wait until our binding. Now I wept silently in my heart fearing it would never happen. What hope I had once held for more between us shriveled as you focused more and more on the task ahead of you. I had hoped to say our goodbyes in private but you did not come to me and I dared not go to you for you remained entrenched behind closed doors with your captains and advisors. My parents had wished me to return to them but I could not. At least being near you, I could still hope.

The command to depart sounded down the line of March, and I watched as you turned to go. Then suddenly you were there in front of me, your storm gray eyes intense. Without a word, you quickly gathered me firmly in your arms and kissed me thoroughly and then you were gone.


Elrond

At last the call had come. It was time!

It was gray that morning we gathered in the courtyard and formed on the road leading out of the hidden valley. I watched my captains marshaling our warriors and I thought about the battle that lay before us. I could only hope we had enough warriors and equipment to do what needed to be done. I worried that we left insufficient behind to protect our homes and loved ones, yet we needed to take all that we could. So much remained unknown.

I knew you were with there with the other women and I longed to go to you, take you in my arms and say all those things that had remained unsaid between us. In the quiet hours of the night, I had wished you beside me in my bed and more than once regretted insisting that we wait until our binding. I hoped for a chance to say our goodbyes in private but I could not go to you knowing there was nothing I could promise. How I longed to share my doubts and fears but I could not. Such is the burden of command.

The order to depart sounded down the line of March. Yet, I could not leave without a goodbye. You were there in front of me, your eyes shining with tears. I could say nothing but simply gathered you to me, kissed you and then I had to go. My last view of you was of smiles and warm encouragement, not tears and sorrow.


Celebrian

For those of us who remained behind, our lives settled into a routine of sorts. We continued with the daily routine of living. Although nothing had been formalized between you and I, the others had acknowledged me as your lady and turned to me for guidance and solace.

But for me the halls and rooms became a silent, empty place that I wandered forlornly. I wrote cheerful letters telling you of the day-to-day incidents and other things I hoped would provide you with comfort. Occasionally I wrote passionate declarations of my love and how eager I was for your safe return. The few you sent back in return were treasured beyond my most precious jewels yet none gave evidence of your emotions or feelings for me.

Through the long waiting time, I found myself retreating to your chambers more and more where your things gave me comfort. There was a lingering scent of sandalwood and your robe hung over the chair by the bed. Often I lie upon your bed and buried my face in your pillows wishing it were your shoulder I slept upon. At last, shamelessly I moved in, mingled my things with yours and slept in your great bed.


Elrond

Your cheerful letters gave me hope for a future even when the darkness lay heaviest about us. The long terrible days of unremitting horror when the ground lay covered with the bloody bodies of the dead and dying and the screams of the wounded echoed endlessly through my mind even then I clung to the words of promise you sent. When you wrote passionately of your love I longed to reply, but I could not. Finally, the day came when the victory was ours and those of us remaining could return home. Yet, even as I prepared to do so a greater burden was laid upon my shoulders by my king. Would there never be time for us?


Celebrian

News came of our great victory. When the first warriors returned their numbers were pitifully few and great was the sorrow among those who could not find their loved ones. Although you did not send immediate word, still I knew you lived and my heart rejoiced.

I was loathed to return to my own bed when word of your impending arrival came. I reluctantly removed my things and your chambers were prepared for your return. Yet, one final time I sought your bed and it was there you found me when at last you returned late one evening.


Elrond

Finally, the time came to return home. Burdened by great sorrow over the loss of my king and the new tasks he had laid upon me I could only feel the chill of death that now seemed my constant companion. I traveled with a small escort and as we neared Imladris that final day, we pushed on arriving late after dark. There on the last hill overlooking my beloved valley I paused hoping to feel the longed for familiar peace fall upon my faer but there was none. The soft glow of an occasional light below could be seen beckoning and my fellow travelers were eager to seek the comforts of their own hearths and families. So, I passed quietly through the final sentries asking not to be announced and each departed wearily to their own home.

Entering the main hall of my house, I sought to savor its sights and sounds. The rumble of the nearby falls and the sound of rushing water seemed more pronounced in the silence of the night. My eyes took in the familiar shapes of furniture and tapestries and I sighed with weariness. I was home but every thing seemed distant and alien!

I slowly climbed the stairs to my chambers longing to bath, sink into a bed and seek oblivion. After I had washed the dirt from travel from my body, I entered the sleeping chamber. Much to my surprise and dismay I found you in my bed, your golden hair spread across the pillow in shining disarray and your eyes closed in sweet sleep. I sat down in the chair next to the bed watching you for a long time. I had hoped not to face you just yet for I had not the strength of will to tell you there could be no binding for us, that there was nothing left within me to give you. When at last you awoke, your eyes met mine and you knew. Silently you rose and gently touched my cheek. I sent you from me neither caring, or hoping for a future for us. The days existed to be got through, not lived. Only duty kept me moving forward.


Celebrian

To my dismay, you were distant and scarred by what had been your charge and your grief over the loss of the high king was great. Though I longed to take you in my arms and share the great burden you now carried, you turned away from me and I wept. It was as if you had ripped my heart out. I fled to the house of my parents and sought comfort in the safety of my parents' embrace. After a time my ada told me some of the horrors everyone had faced and counseled me to be patient, that in time you would heal and once more come to me. Over the centuries that followed, I despaired that you ever would do so for you seemed oblivious to emotion. I could not forget you for you were truly my other half. If I could not have you then there would be no one else.



Elrond

After the fall of Sauron, there was much to rebuild among all our people and so over the next centuries I buried myself in work seeking to escape my pain. Though Gil Galad had named me his heir I did not take the throne nor wear the crown of the high king, rather I chose to guide our people as simply the Lord of Imladris. I wore Vilya, the ring of air that my king had placed in my safe keeping. I sought to keep it hidden from the world, as did Cirden and Galadriel with the other two elven rings. For in spite of the great war we had just fought, Isildur had refused to cast the one ring after he cut it from Sauronís hand into the fires of Mt Doom and so destroy it. Wergild he claimed for the death of his father.

Yet, there was the occasional memory of a love I could neither have nor return.


Celebrian

As the years passed there seemed to be no change in the distance between us and it was clear you would do nothing to eliminate it. If there was to be any I would have to make the first move and so I returned to Imladris unannounced. How would you receive me?


Elrond

I turned from the ambassador from Mirkwood and there you were before me your eyes calm and your manner composed. As you swept into a formal bow, your hair fell forward a curtain of shining gold and the skirt of your pale green dress pooled about your feet. For a breathless moment, my heart leaped in my body and then I remembered I had nothing to give you in return even if you still cared. Yet I bent forward and as I drew you up, I felt you tremble. I looked into those eyes of deep blue and it seemed as if the ice that had filled my being cracked and melted. I could breath again.


Celebrian

As you drew me up you lifted my hand to your lips and placed a soft kiss upon my palm. Your gray eyes were pools of emotion and I knew that there was hope. It would not be easy, but I was willing to wait a little longer.


Elrond

You gave me a sweet smile and with a half bow withdrew from the reception hall leaving me to stare after you. I knew then I would not send you away a second time. Yet I was not ready to rebuild our bonds again. I needed time to think. In addition, you were patient. I intended to seek you out in time and tell you of all those things in my heart that had remained unsaid.


Celebrian

I dreamed I felt your kisses. I had imagined them for so long and they were even sweeter than I had conjured. The feeling of strong arms enfolding me along with the touch of your hair sliding across my skin penetrated the sweet haze of my dreams and I realized you were there beside me. You had returned to me!


Elrond

Finally I smiled and gathering you into my arms. I softly kissed each of your eyes and settled back against the pillows with you nestled against my chest. You opened your eyes briefly. Your welcoming arms sought to hold me close as if afraid I would disappear. I breathed deeply and filled my senses with your scent, and the sounds of your soft cries of delight.

Eagerly I pulled you even closer to me and returned your kisses with all my pent up passion. I sought to slake my thirst in the heated depths of your delicious mouth. I could not resist your sweet response and kissed you awakening you to the reality of my return.

I was finally home.