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In Mark Twain's footsteps thread

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inglor



Joined: 26 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:43 pm    Post subject: In Mark Twain's footsteps thread Reply with quote

Recognition for saying a lot in a little space

Reading the line from one of Ghetto's stories inspired me to post this topic. If you see a line that catches you as brilliant or inspired, put it in this this thread. OSA stories only and please give the author credit. Some come by it naturally, the rest of us have to work at it.

Here is mine from Ghettoelleth:

"He looked young and strong, far too young to be the father of the seven plagues,..."

The line is by someone watching Feanor...

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Sirannon



Joined: 04 Jan 2005
Posts: 67
Location: Denmark

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"She laughed as she spoke, a sound that was to Olórin like a droplet of dew from Telperion falling into a silvery pool."

by Spaceveawil from "Once in a far green country"

I don't know what it was about that one. But I just knew how the laughter would make you feel.

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NancyBrooke
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Joined: 11 May 2003
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This moment, from Robinka's "The Perfect Circle" still gets me:

Quote:
"Open... your... eyes... precious ..." Isildur’s whisper trailed off.

The small piece of gold danced gracefully back and forth above her face.

Yowza!! It is so vivid and so evil, the ring literally coming between Isildur and his love, his richer, better life.

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Last edited by NancyBrooke on Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:32 am; edited 1 time in total
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NeumeIndil



Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 1091
Location: New York, USA

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From Quel Fara by fileg:

(Line delivered by an elleth giving a friend a puppy)
“I would come to love him,” she sighed, a foregone conclusion, “and that would break my heart, for what could he be to me but a breath.”

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RobinKa



Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 517
Location: Wherever I may roam

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

These two depictions of Glorfindel left me speechless.


From What Better Companion by Space:

Even amongst the Eldar, often there were scars. Some marks of battle stubbornly refused to fade, long after the wounds themselves had healed, as though some part of the fëa forbade them to disappear utterly. A reminder, perhaps, that longevity did not equate to invulnerability.



From Circle of Hands by Ghetto:

He looked at the beast, willing it closer, staring it down as the flames from its body licked at his armor. It mattered little, for he was not alive.

“Come beast of Morgoth, you cannot take from me what I no longer have.”

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Anna



Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 548
Location: Sweden

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brilliant and inpired lines, you say?

My first thought goes to NancyBrooke, the queen of brilliance IMHO. She has a way with words that leave me breathless, at times. To be able to say so much in such few words is an impressive talent.
So....which line will I choose? Ah, I think one of my absolute favourites! This is from 'Allemande': "From these shadows now emerged Gríma, King´s Counselor, his pale face lit with false brightness."
Gríma in a nutshell, don´t you think!? Respekt

Now to another author, whose talent and wit is only surpassed by her productivity -- SpaceWeavil.
This is from 'Annatar´s Gift': "Yet strange how the sun no longer seemed as bright...."
This is what is going on in Khaműl´s head when Sauron has been especially 'generous' to him...So utterly sad and awful...Crying or Very sad Bow

I think I will end this with a brilliant line, which I frequently use in my everyday life: "With grunts, and assorted kisses, Snorg." (from Viv´s hilarious 'Snorg: Letters from Mordor'). You rock

BTW, Inglor, this was a wonderful idea!
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Saccopelista



Joined: 28 Sep 2005
Posts: 4
Location: Italia

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was one sentence in Madeleine's fic The Healer and the Warrior I simply can't get out of my head.

Next to a battle lost the saddest thing is a battle won.

I must always think abou it when I watch the news or read the papers and there is a news cast or an article about one of all those military conflicts going on at present. To me it means there are no winners.
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inglor



Joined: 26 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He should not smile like that, it was not fair.

Lothiriel in reference to Eomer

LadyBluejay's I Can Only Manage One, ch 4.

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Viv
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Joined: 24 Apr 2003
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From dragonlady7's "Playing Field":

Quote:
Eomer shrugged. "You can't eat sparrows," he said.


(Note: It's a naughty joke. You have to read the story to understand. But it sticks in the brain. Wink

And Inglor's so-Elu phrase (in "Triumph"): "merciless attention." Now *that's* how an elvenking should talk. Rowr.
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inglor



Joined: 26 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A few brightly colored fishing boats swung lazily at their anchors but most just lay about, belly up and bleaching. A small group of skitterling birds chased the ebbing waves but the water rose and fell only idly, as if out of habit.

This is from Nancy's Boats to Build

Wonderful description of the water. And the word "bleaching" adds a whole sentence at least.

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Yavanie



Joined: 02 Jun 2004
Posts: 630
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From Alassante's Elf and Future King:

"he reached into her hair and removed the clip holding it back. It fell loose, a tumble of wild midnight cascading down her back"


It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite poems: The Highwayman, by Alfred Noyes.

It has a line about a raven haired beauty loosing her hair for her lover. If you want to read it, see my live journal.

And then go read Al's latest chapter!

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Yavanie

...I understand the sadness of the Elves, and I have seen Mordor.

To be older and wiser you must first be younger and stupider.
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NeumeIndil



Joined: 06 Jun 2005
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Location: New York, USA

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From Black Diamond by Thevina:

"My kind has been abused, taken advantage of, my mother only a tune that I hear on the verge of sleep, and this quest, from beginning to end, an absolute farce.

But I know a hobbit foot when I see one."
(Gimli looking for Pippin after the Battle at the Morannon)

From Cold Comfort by Sharpeslass:

"After he was gone she rocked on her stained mattress and held the bright coin. The girl might have laughed aloud then, had she remembered how. For, she would eat tomorrow, and stay warm beside a fire tomorrow night."
(A whore after an evening with Grima)

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NeumeIndil



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

By Alassante in her co-write w/ Ghetto in the Virtual Village Angel from My Nightmare:

"I refuse to believe that I mean so little to you, when all I have to do to kindle a flame in you, is show you the burning you set in me."

Edit: Oops! Well... you both rock, so it's easy to confuse. Wink

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Last edited by NeumeIndil on Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Alassante
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Joined: 10 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NeumeIndil wrote:
By Alassante in her co-write w/ Ghetto in the Virtual Village Angel from My Nightmare:

"I refuse to believe that I mean so little to you, when all I have to do to kindle a flame in you, is show you the burning you set in me."


Embarassed

That was actually one of Ghetto's lines during beta. He was mumbling something about sex before that. lol J/K but that was one of Ghetto's changes so YAY G!!!!! Bow Now ahh I gotta go cause we are collaborating. Outta here

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ghettoelleth



Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1804

PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, Inglor, thanks budness. I wanna play. There are a million of them too.

Nieramilo, by Alassante. Nerdanel feels the fear of her sons departing. Such an amazing summation.
"So like Fëanor, Curufin was full of unquenchable fire, yet, he squandered his staggering skill to fight a war not of his making."

Garndeners Yield, by NancyBrooke. I'm with Ana, I know of no one who can pack more into so few words, she is awe inspiring.
this entire 100 word drabble is amazingly expressive and beautiful, I was hard pressed to pick a line but I went with the last because the final two words say everything. A flipping Hobbit drabble and I simply cannot read it without crying. I had to cut and paste with my eyes closed.

"Sam’s had all I’ve got to give, now; oh, not letters and such like but things just as important, and I’ve seen them take root and grow in ‘im.

Aye, blessed."

Spring Fling, This amazing and fun thing that Inglor did with the spring festival in a series of drabbles is an amazing testament to the impact of 100 words. Very concise, its bursting with visuals that are evoked with one or two words throughout the entire piece.

"The Sindar lived with death tugging at their heels. This festival marked the opening of Spring, the renewal of life."

"Melian fixed her gaze upon Finrod.
Celeborn was sure he heard the prince gulp."

"“Melian AND Luthien?” Turgon asked, incredulous.

“For the fifth time, yes, and again, no, not at the same time,” Finrod responded, exasperated.

“I hate you.” Said the son of Fingolfin."

Absolutely wonderful. I'll be back with more, Al's tapping her toe at me. Very Happy

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