Story Downloaded from Open Scrolls Archive (https://www.openscrolls.net) Title: A New-Old Maid (#2038) Author: Shanalir Chapters: 10
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Archive: Tolkien Category: Alternate Universe (AU) Description: Entry for the "Gandalf the Girl" drabble challenge. Several drabbles showing various possibilities. *** Abandoned and up for adoption! Apologies to anyone looking for updates. *** *Warning* You might want your sense of humour handy :) Published: 02 Jul 2005 Updated: 16 Jul 2005 Warnings: Mentions of body parts/personal matters Type: Humour Characters: Gandalf; Aragorn; Legolas; Gimli Chapter 1 - The Discovery A/N: Each drabble is meant to stand alone, as well as be readable all together. Please review! I really need the input. Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm just borrowing. * * * "Odd.....," Gandalf thought as he settled into his new body. The shock of the melding jolted him, and he gasped, his stragely shaped chest rising sharply with the movement. As the memories of what he had been settled into place, he stilled. Slowly, he looked down at his new body, his astonished and alarmed gazed interrupted by a pair of shapely breasts. Slumping back, Gandalf threw a youthful arm accross her long-lashed eyes and began to take stock of her slender, feminine body. Disgusted, she released an unladylike "Hmmph." The Valar really did have an atrocious sense of humour. Chapter 2 - The Woman's Curse A/N: Don't read this one if you're bothered by mentions of bodily functions. Nothing too descriptive, but I thought I should offer a warning all the same. As always, please review! Disclaimer: Ain't mine, just borrowing. * * * Gandalf felt odd in her new body. And now, the body itself was beginning to feel very strange.... like something momentous was about to happen. Feeling an odd sensation, she stopped suddenly, and apprehensively lifted her skirts. She stared for a moment unbelievingly, then pulled out her extra underskirt and began tearing strips off of the hem, while muttering very unladylike words under her breath. It wasn't enough for the Valar to "gift" her with a female body. Nooo, it had to be a fertile female body. And it had just chosen to "bless" her with her first monthly flow. Chapter 3 - The Meeting Disclaimer: Ain't mine, I'se just borrowin' A/N: Please review. And be honest. (Is it the worst you've read? Tell me, I'll believe you!) *** Merry and Pippin stared at the White Wizard in awe. She was beautiful. She was powerful. She was.... Gandalf? "Gandalf, what happened to you," Pippin exclaimed. "Well, y'know," Gandalf began, fetchingly confused, "I'm, like, not totally one hundred percent on that? But, like, all I like, know, is I like, died? And like, I woke up, like, like this? The Valar, they like, totally changed my look! And I, like spent, like centuries perfecting that look? Y'know?" Merry and Pip stared at each other, horrified. The Valar hadn't just made Gandalf a girl. They had made her a Valley Girl! Chapter 4 - Another Meeting, Part 1 Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing. I'm giving them back, I promise! A/N: Please review. I need the input! *** Thoughts were circling through Aragorn's head as he followed Treebeard to the White Wizard. He couldn't quite believe that Treebeard would be on good terms with Saruman. His musings were interrupted by the sudden appearance of a figure cloaked in white light. He and his companions sprang into action, but their attacks all failed. Then the light faded and they saw.....Gandalf? It couldn't be. She was young, beautiful and female, with long flowing white hair, but somehow she was still Gandalf. "Gandalf?" he heard Legolas gasp. "Yuppers, that's me," she bubbled. A thump echoed as Gimli passed out. Chapter 5 - Another meeting, Part 2 Disclaimer: not mine, borrowing, and putting back carefully. A/N: Please review, I could use the input. *** Legolas' thoughts were dark as he tended to Gimli. After making sure that he was beginning to come around, he turned his attention back to Aragorn and Gandalf, who was insisting that they call her.... Dalfin? "Why Dalfin," Aragorn wondered. "Well," Gandalf answered, "Gandalf is, like such a, like guy's name, it doesn't really, like fit me any more. But I want to, like stay close to it, so I, like took the last part of my old name, you know, Dalf from Gandalf, and made it, like a girl's name!" 'Well,' thought Legolas, 'At least she didn't choose Flounder.' Chapter 6 - We're On Our Way! Disclaimer: I make no claim to any of Tolkien's characters that are used here. I may, however, make an unofficial claim to a few that are not mentioned here. *evil grin* A/N: Reviews are appreciated and helpful! Thank You, to LadyBluejay and Ingole for reviewing. *** Gimli's thoughts were dark as he rode behind Legolas on the way to Rohan. Their numbers had been decreased, nobody knew where Frodo, Sam or the ring was, and Gandalf (or Dalfin, as she insisted on being called) had been brought back as a Valley Girl. How they were supposed to defeat the armies of Sauron, with the aid of a dimpling virgin who kept yelling "Wheeeee!" everytime Shadowfax went down a slope, was completely beyond him. Wait! There might be a shred of hope there after all! Gimli smiled evilly. Maybe Gan- uh, Dalfin could talk them to death! Chapter 7 - Seeing the King, Part 1 Disclaimer: Not mine, I'm just borrwing. * * * Aragorn had to restrain a laugh as they approached the guards outside of King Theoden's hall. The poor men were gaping at the beautiful young....Gandalf?....that was approaching them. "We, like really need a, like audiance with, like King Theoden," she stated firmly. Well, as firmly as you can when every phrase is a question, anyway. "Uh, certainly. You'll need to leave all of your weapons here," the guards said, grasping desperately at their composure. Aragorn prepared for a show as Dalfin squared her stance and prepared for a battle of wills. She was not giving up an accessory! * * * A/N: A cliffhanger! Will Dalfin give up her favorite accessory? And after all that time she took finding a dress to perfectly coordinate? Stay tuned, and please review!!! Chapter 8 - Seeing the King, Part 2 Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's. I just like playing with Gandalf. *evil snicker* A/N: Please review! I really love to hear what you think. Good or bad, let me have it. Thank you to LadyBluejay, Ingole, LadyofRohan, shadowslayer, inglor, and Elentari for reviewing. It's really great to know that you enjoy my work! * * * "I'll need to take that staff," the guard said, stepping forward. "You are like, not taking this accessory! It'll, like totally ruin my outfit," Dalfin exclaimed, looking down at her exquisitely embroidered white dress. The guard looked a bit closer, and noted that the embroidery did, in fact, match the decorative design on the staff. He glanced at his captain, who rolled his eyes, nodding slightly. There could be no harm in letting a feather brained girl keep an accessory. The guard nodded, and stood aside to let her pass. Haughtily, Dalfin glided into the hall. Now for the King. Chapter 9 - Seeing the King, Part 3: Booting Saruman Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except Dalfin's Valley Girl personality. I take full blame for that. A/N: Please review if you're reading this. It helps my muse to hear what people think. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed thus far. You've kept this tale going. * * * Everyone stared as Dalfin swept into the hall and stopped before the throne, staring at Theoden, shocked. "Whoah! Like, what happened to that like, strong healthy Theoden King I like, remember?" Dalfin exclaimed. Grima stepped forward. "His majesty has been ill," he said silkily. "Like, that's why I'm here, duh!" Dalfin rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna make him better!" Grima sneered as he walked closely around her with an oily grace. "I can guess how you intend to do that," he sneered, looking down her bodice, yelping as Dalfin subtly kicked his shin. Stepping forward, she prepared to battle Saruman. Chapter 10 - Meeting the King, Part 4: Flower Power? Disclaimer: Nothing of Tolkien's belongs to me. I'm just borrowing. A/N: I know that somebody's gotta be reading this. My hit count keeps going up. And it's not just my clicking that's doing it, either. I only click about twice a month. If you're reading, please review! Good, bad, indifferent, I don't care! just let me know what you think of it! Please! I'm begging here! * * * Dalfin looked at Theoden, noting the signs of Saruman's control. The aging, illness and loss of thoughts. Shaking her head, she made her first move. Realising that any attempt to subtly break Saruman's control over Theoden would fail, she carefully raised her staff, and comparably gently, smacked Theoden over the head, sending a burst of energy through his link to Saruman, and shattering the wizard's control over him. "Gotcha," she yelled, jumping up and down, drawing the gaze of every male in the hall to her bouncing chest. Meanwhile, Saruman was horrified. Gandalf’s power was now feminine ……. and pink! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Downloaded from Open Scrolls Archive (https://www.openscrolls.net) on Sun Nov 15, 2026 1:02 am