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Title: Namárië (#1238)
Author: Vendie
Chapters: 1

Archive: Tolkien
Category: Palantir Section
Description: A tale of two elves journeying towards the Grey Havens and their thoughts as they contemplate their last moments together before they separate.
Published: 04 Sep 2004
Updated: 04 Sep 2004
Warnings:
Type: Drama
Characters: Two original characters


Chapter 1 - Namárië

Namárië
By Vendie\r\n\r\n


Author’s Note: As always, everything belongs to Tolkien. Also, this story centers around two elves living in Imladris around the time of the War of the Ring. It doesn’t have much to do with any of the Fellowship, so there’s your warning…Enjoy!

Thanks so much to HobbitLass for being my Beta =3

~\r\n\r\n


Two elf-maids made their way through the halls of the Last Homely House to go to the stables and meet the group of their people that were heading to the Grey Havens. One trailed behind the other, looking down and nervously rubbing her hands.

“Amaniel?” The elf that lagged behind asked.

“Yes?”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Amaniel turned and eyed her friend, Rodwen, suspiciously. Rodwen’s bright eyes were full of doubt, and she appeared troubled.

“Of course you can,” Amaniel replied. “You will go, and you will find happiness.” She reassured her friend. Rodwen pulled at her auburn hair nervously, still unsure of herself.

“How can I do this without you?” she asked. Rodwen was uneasy. She loved her friend dearly, and wished to stay with her, but remaining in Middle Earth only caused her painful memories of long ago.

She, her parents, and their kin had fled from their home near Dol Guldur when evil began to stir there. Orcs attacked them near the banks of the Anduin on the Forest Road. Her parents were slain, and Rodwen was wounded. Their party hastened to Imladris where Lord Elrond was able to heal Rodwen's physical wounds. While she was healing, she had met Amaniel, and they became fast friends. Rodwen seemed to be fully healed, for a time.

Though, the loss of her parents had never left her. Amaniel’s presence helped Rodwen greatly, but not even she could erase what happened. When the chance came, Rodwen decided to sail for the Undying Lands, hoping to rid herself of her pain forever. Amaniel supported her in the decision, but decided to remain behind in Imladris herself. She did not say anything of this to Rodwen until she was sure that Rodwen wouldn’t turn back.

“You will,” Amaniel assured her. Rodwen looked at her, sadness still in her eyes. Amaniel took her hand. “Come. We’ll miss them.” She said, pulling the bright-eyed elf along.

~

They had been traveling the road for days. It had been overcast for the first few, and finally, the skies let loose and the rain poured from above like water from a bucket. Tents were erected, and the party of elves stopped for the day.

Amaniel and Rodwen were in their tent, quietly sitting and minding their own business. Rodwen was reading, Amaniel softly humming to herself.

Suddenly, the dark-haired elf-maid rose from her spot in the tent and went to the door, poking her head out.

“What are you doing?” Rodwen laughed.

Amaniel brought her head back in to the tent, her hair dripping wet. She smiled mischievously.

“Let’s go.” She said simply as she grabbed Rodwen’s hand. She dropped her book as Amaniel dragged her from the tent.

“Wither?”

“To dance!”

Amaniel forced her friend from the dry tent and into the cold, wet, rain. Rodwen stood for a moment, watching as her friend spun around in the rain, her dress beginning to be weighed down with water.

“Don’t you remember the first time it rained after you came to Imladris?” Amaniel asked through her laughter. “I took you from you room in the dead of night and we danced through all the gardens. Dance!” she commanded.

Rodwen laughed. “You are mad, Amaniel. Mad.” She said, shaking her head. Nonetheless, the red-haired girl let out a cry of happiness and skipped about in circles, grabbing Amaniel’s arm. The two jigged about, to and fro, laughing and singing. Some of the other elves in their party stuck their heads out of their tents to find out what was creating such a racket. They rolled their eyes and sighed, going back to their business, thinking to themselves how silly young elves these days are.

The elf-maids laughed heartily together, paying the discouraging looks from their peers no mind.

Rodwen lost herself in the rain and the laughter. It had been a long time since she had felt so alive. She loved the rain, for some unknown reason. Being out in the weather dancing about in it made her feel connected and not so forlorn.

Suddenly, lightning flashed and thunder echoed through the trees. Stopping their merry jig, the two elf-maids looked to the skies.

“We probably should go inside.” Amaniel sighed, sad that their little escapade was over. She began to tromp towards their tent, but Rodwen stayed, staring up at the sky. When the darker haired elf-maid noticed she walking alone, she turned around to see Rodwen in the spot that she left her.

“I don’t want it to end.” She said.

“Keep it in your heart and it never will.” Amaniel replied. Rodwen took her eyes from the sky and looked at her dearest friend, who smiled warmly at her. The elf with flame-hued hair smiled back, and started towards the tent with her friend.

Once inside, the two changed out of their soaking clothing and settled under the blankets of their bedrolls that had been laid out earlier. They faced each other as they lay there, their hair dripping wet and their smiles wide.

“It has been many moons since I have been so happy.” The auburn-haired elf sighed.

“It is difficult to find happiness in such dark times.” Amaniel replied, her thoughts turning towards the war that lay ahead for all the free folk of Middle Earth. “But keep the memory with you, and it will always light your path.”

Rodwen smiled, but said nothing for a long while. As she thought on things, tears began to well up in her eyes.

“I know that I can go. I know this in my heart. I can cross this sea…but,” Rodwen paused and closed her eyes tightly, squeezing the tears from her eyes. “I do not want to say goodbye.” She said emotionally.

“You don’t have to. I know we will see each other again. We don’t have to say goodbye.” Amaniel said, choking on her own words. Tears came to her eyes as well as she reached out and took Rodwen’s hand in her own.

“I don’t want to either.” The dark-haired elf-maid admitted.

Through her tears, Rodwen smiled. “Then we won’t.”

~

Days later, they arrived in the Gray Havens. Rodwen was strangely quiet and twitched nervously as she and the other elves that were leaving prepared to board the ship that was anchored there for them. She stood close to Amaniel, who was also quiet. They watched the activity on the dock from the arched doorway that was up a set of stairs from the docks.

“This is so queer,” Rodwen suddenly said. “Thinking of life in a new place with new people.”

“But it is exciting, isn’t it?” Amaniel asked her, trying to comfort her friend.

“I don’t know, I don’t feel anything. I should be excited, or frightened, but I don’t feel anything. Like nothing’s going to change. Like I’m going to wake up tomorrow in Imladris and live my day like every other day…but I’m not.” The auburn-haired elf replied. Rodwen blinked the tears from her eyes and sniffed a little.

“You can’t cry yet.” Amaniel said, elbowing her. “Not until you’re on that ship.” She smiled kindly at Rodwen, who chuckled.

“I won’t.” She said.

“Good.”

Another uneasy silence set in. The two stood side by side for a while, watching the other elves in the company say goodbye to their loved ones who were leaving. Rodwen felt anxious, the ship was ready to set sail, and the number of elves saying goodbye was growing thin, her time was growing short.

“This is awkward.” Amaniel commented. Rodwen laughed again nervously, agreeing.

“How do we say goodbye?” The elf asked.

“I’m not sure myself. Is there some sort of ceremony to it?” The dark-haired elf replied, jesting.

“I’ve never had to do this before…” Rodwen said, her voice trailing off into sadness.

“No, you’re not going to be sad, Rodwen.” Amaniel commanded.

“It’s hard.” Rodwen said, trying to laugh at the situation. Amaniel sighed and took Rodwen’s hand.

“But not impossible.” She reminded with a smile on her face. Rodwen smiled back and touched her forehead to her friend’s, hoping the moment would last forever.

“My lady?” a masculine voice asked.

The two looked up to see one of the aids of Círdan, the Lord of the Grey Havens. “My lady, the ship is waiting.” He said. Rodwen felt something in her body change, a gut reaction to what was happening to her.

“Go.” Amaniel said. Rodwen looked at her, smiling though she could feel the tears burning in her eyes.

“I don’t want to…” Rodwen murmured. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“We’re not saying goodbye.” Amaniel said stubbornly. “We will see each other again, Rodwen. Not even this great sea can separate us for long.”

The two friends hugged for the last time, both holding back tears as they bade each other farewell.

“May the Valar put wind in your sails.” Amaniel said quietly.

“And may they guide you on your way home, and ever after.” Rodwen replied.

Finally, they broke their embrace, but intertwined their hands together.

“I will look for your coming on the shores of the Undying Lands.” Rodwen said.

“And I will watch for you on the horizon.” Amaniel replied.

“Until we next meet…” Rodwen said, turning. She let her hand slowly slip out of Amaniel’s, hoping to hold on to her best friend just a little longer. But finally, their arm spans ran out, and their hands fell apart.

Rodwen felt a lump rise in her throat and she closed her eyes tightly. She wanted so badly to look back, but she knew that if she did that she’d never leave. So she walked slowly down the stairs with Cirdan’s aid, her breath catching in her chest as she went.

The young elf lord helped her step up onto the ramp to the boat. She thanked him briefly as she stepped up the ramp onto the boat. As she set her foot on the solid wood of the ship, she turned and looked to the archway. She could see Amaniel, standing a few steps back into the doorway, tears brimming in her eyes. Rodwen choked out a sob and finally she let her tears flow over her cheeks freely as she felt the ship being detached from the dock and pushed out to sea.

Amaniel watched as the ship pulled away from shore and as the sails filled with the westward bound wind. Her eyes too had tears in her eyes that she had finally released.

Through her tears, she whispered. “Goodbye…”

~I'tela
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