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Title: Middle Earth Journals : Haldir (#1346)
Author: Forest
Chapters: 1
Archive: Tolkien
Category: Lord of the Rings
Description: Haldir's Diary from just before the Fellowship's arrival in Lorien, and just after.
Published: 23 Oct 2004
Updated: 23 Oct 2004
Warnings:
Type: Humour
Characters: Haldir; Orophin; Rumil; Celeborn; Galadriel; Fell
Chapter 1 - Chapter 1
Title: Middle Earth Journals: Haldir
Author: Forest
Rating: PG
Genre: Humour
WARNING: I overdosed on Cadburys again!
Beta: None
Cast: Haldir. (Mentioned: Rumil, Orophin Galadriel, Celeborn & Fellowship)
Disclaimer: I own no-one from The Lord Of The Rings. All the characters and place names displayed belong to JRR Tolkien. I do not intend to, nor am I making any financial gain from the writing of this story.
Feedback: Yes please! We “aspiring” authors thrive on the stuff.
Timeline: Book-Verse (Is that a word?)
Summary: Haldir's Diary from just before the Fellowship's arrival in Lorien, and just after.
~*~
Day 254: Woke up early this morning and decided to take a bath. Got to bathroom and found suds were missing again. Oh ho! Rumil will pay!
Day 255: Suspect Rumil of being master of disguise. It is now my mission to find that brother of mine and bring him down!
Day 256: Sneaked into Beleril’s bathroom to ‘borrow’ some of his suds. He always has plenty. Walked in on said elf and my ex-elleth enjoying the suds. V’humilated. Bounty on beloved brother’s head has risen considerably.
Afternoon: Eventually found dear brother. Secretly think he was trying to be a lawn ornament. Happy to say I wasn’t fooled. Brother had the cheek to deny taking my suds and put the blame on other beloved brother. Swiftly retreated out of argument to prevent another kinslaying.
Day 257: Spent morning completing order form for new set of bath suds. V’surprised at company address in Rohan as was under the impression humans never take baths.
Day 258: Weather particularly nice for this time of the year. Sadly missed out on it as bath suds for outside tub not arrived yet. Am v’frustrated.
Day 259: Off to protect borders again. Saw Rumil sneak something into his tunic. Have suspicion he may have intercepted my new set of suds as he smelt most fragrant.
Day 260: Bounty on brother’s head now includes a free gift. My best tunic was ‘hors-d oeuvre for strange looking lizard. Rumil had the audacity to suggest I get a hobby. Since when do I have that much spare time? Hit him over the head with leather shoe. Feeling slightly better disposed towards life.
Day 261: Little brother determined to get me a hobby. I think he needs to work on his technique as quilt making really isn’t my thing.
Day 262: Forced to comfort little brother after his evil pet was eaten by a bird. Secretly v’happy about this.
Day 263: Rumil needs to get more sleep. Caught him nodding off next to a tree again. Bath suds still not in evidence.
Day 264: Wolf ambush at borders today. Fended said wolves off. No casualties. Told by Rumil he wished I had been hurt as it would have been something exciting to tell his friends. Little brother always so caring.
Day 265: Witnessed best moment of life when little brother fell in Nimrodel. Said brother both soaked and annoyed. Will never let him forget this! Am extremely happy.
Day 266: Guarding borders again. Boring looking troop appeared. Rumil did something right for once and I almost died when Isildur’s hairy heir appeared. Someone really needs to get the guy a shaver for his birthday. Or any day for that matter!
Day 267: Discovered fellowship sent by Elrond to save Middle-Earth. I often wonder if it is just me that thinks he should get off his backside once in while and do something helpful. Am hoping Galadriel did not read my mind as I was thinking that as am seriously hoping for that promotion.
Day 268: Rumil complaining again about foul human smell. Told him to shut up and get on with posting the order for air fresheners. He does have a point though.
Day 269: Fellowship have gone. Left pondering how hobbits are able to steer a boat. Have suspicion Celeborn may have rigged the boats. Really didn’t like the look he gave the Ringbearer after his meeting with Galadriel. Gave me the jitters. Methinks Celeborn gets jealous too easily. Have fingers crossed for Halfling’s safety.
Day 270: Was right. Celeborn not speaking to Galadriel and has bought himself a jacuzzi for company. Rumil found a hobby that remotely interested me. Cooking. For dinner I made stuffed green peppers and personally thought they may have needed a little longer in the oven.
Day 271: Rumil looked a little green this morning. Thinking of cooking him special get-well meal tonight.
Day 272: Galadriel looking her normal, disconcerting self again. Bath suds finally arrived but sadly, Celeborn’s jacuzzi broke before I could ask him if I could use it. Am quite miffed.
Day 273: Flicked through hefty book Rumil found and decided that quilt making may be my thing after all. Going down to Imladris market tomorrow to buy supplies. Am planning on making present for Rumil. A quilt with a pattern of green peppers as he seemed to like them so much.
~Fin~
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