Story Downloaded from Open Scrolls Archive (https://www.openscrolls.net)
Title: On An Elfling Discovering the "Difference" (#2033)
Author: Emmess
Chapters: 1
Archive: Tolkien
Category: Alternate Universe (AU)
Description: Written in response to a challenge on Dream Elf to "Compare and Elf to an animal." In this short ficlet, Legolas is compared to a dying fish, much to his dismay, as he inadvertantly discovers that there is a definite difference between ellyn and ellith.
Published: 29 Jun 2005
Updated: 29 Jun 2005
Warnings: none
Type: Humour
Characters: Legolas
Chapter 1 - One
Title: On an Elfling Discovering the "Difference"
Author: TICS
Rated: PG13
Summary: Response to the Dream Elf Weekly Drabbling Challenge: June 24 - July 1 2005 - Compare an Elf to an animal.
In this little fic, Legolas is compared to a dying fish. Snort.
On an Elfling Discovering the "Difference"
Morning sun broke through the few remaining clouds of the previous night's thunderstorm, causing the raindrops that clung to the grass in the Courtyard of the Great Cavern to sparkle like diamonds.
Intrigued as always by the sparkle of newly fallen rain, the young Prince bounded happily out of his forced imprisonment within the rock walls of his father's Cavern, freed with the first rays of Anor by his Adar to once again run free outside. He stopped beneath a thick cluster of hibiscus, reaching up over his head to jostle a branch of the colorful flowered bush, showering himself with fresh droplets of rainwater.
"You are very silly," came a soft voice from behind the bush.
"I am not silly…I am wet," Legolas replied, smiling at the other Elfling who crept from behind the brightly colored flowered curtain.
Giggling, she reached out to lift a hank of his dripping hair from out of his sparkling blue eyes. "Just as I said…silly. Why did you get yourself all wet, Legolas?"
"It feels good, Laralin…see?" he answered, quickly reaching up and jiggling the same branch, initiating a shower of moisture over the young Elleth's head.
"EEK!" the young Elleth cried, jumping out of the way of the soaking shower. "Look what you've done, Legolas Greenleaf! My new gown is all wet! My Nana will be so angry!"
"I am sorry, Laralin…but…didn't it feel good?" he insisted, cocking his head and smiling that lopsided smile that always managed to get him out of trouble.
"No it did NOT feel good…it felt wet! What am I going to do about my new dress?" Laralin persisted, holding out the soggy hem of her gown for his inspection.
"It will dry, Laralin…Anor is strong today…her rays will dry it in no time if we hang it high in the treetops!" Legolas replied, catching hold of the young Elleth's hand. Together they walked deeper into the woods, both leaving dripping trails behind them.
Spotting a likely candidate, Legolas craned his neck to look up into the uppermost reaches of the enormous pine tree. "This should do nicely," he said, scaling the trunk with ease. Followed by Laralin, who climbed with equal aplomb to the Elf Prince, they soon found themselves on a broad limb, wide enough to accommodate the two of them easily.
"Take off your gown, Laralin, and I'll hang it here where Anor can reach it," Legolas offered, pointing to a branch soaked in sunlight just above his head.
With the innocence of youth Laralin shed her gown and handed it to the waiting Elf, who promptly hung it out to dry.
Turning back to his friend, Legolas smiled, pleased that he had found a solution to the problem, as a Princeling should. He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated as he discovered something most unusual about his friend.
"Laralin! What has happened to you? Have you had an accident?" he asked, worry etching his fine, smooth brow.
"No…I am fine, Legolas…what are you staring at?" she asked, frowning herself. His intense stare was making her worried that something might be wrong that she didn't know about.
"Your pee-maker…it's gone!" Legolas whispered, fright in his voice.
"My what? What are you talking about, Legolas? Are you trying to frighten me? I'll tell your Adar on you!" Laralin retorted, her frown deepening.
"You know very well what I'm talking about…your pee-maker! Where is it? Did it fall off?" Legolas gasped, his hand rising to cover his mouth at the thought of one's pee-maker vanishing.
"I don't understand what you're talking about Legolas," Laralin replied, her face paling as she realized that her friend was completely serious. "I never had such a thing…do you have one?"
Legolas stood up and unlaced his trousers, sliding them down to his knees. He pointed to the extremity in question. "See…pee-maker. You don't have one!" he cried, watching her face as she gazed at his own pee-maker.
"I never had anything like that, Legolas…where did you get it from?" she asked, cocking her head a bit as she observed him.
"I've always had it. How do you pee if you never had one?"
"I just do…my Nana doesn't have one either. Maybe no elleth has one…only ellyn."
"You poor things…I can't believe that Eru would forget to give you one…"
"I'm glad I don't have one. It's ugly."
"It is not!" Legolas cried, clearly affronted by her remark.
"It is too. It's big and it's ugly, and it looks like it must be uncomfortable, just hanging there between your legs like that."
"It isn't uncomfortable, and it's not big and ugly either. My Ada's is much bigger than mine, and he doesn't seem uncomfortable with it either."
"You don't need it, you know. I don't have one, and I pee just fine. What good is it to have hanging off your body like that…flopping around like a dying fish?" she sniffed, turning away and lifting her nose up in the air.
"It…it…I don't know, but there must be a reason Eru gave me one. You're just jealous because you don't have one!" Legolas replied, turning away and lifting his own nose up in the air. "As a matter of fact, you don't have anything there at all! You look…unfinished."
"I am too finished, Legolas Greenleaf! I can't help it if Eru had some left over flesh and decided to stick it between your legs!"
"Take that back!" he hollered, turning to face her once more.
"No! You take back what you said about me not being finished!"
"I will not! You aren't finished, and what's more, you look silly not having one!"
"I'm going to march right down from this tree and tell your Adar on you, Legolas!"
"Go ahead…ask him to see his pee-maker and then try to tell him that it's big and ugly!"
"Fine!"
"FINE!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thranduil stood in his son's bedroom, a small smile gracing his lips as he watched Legolas' eyes glaze in reverie. The small, platinum-haired elfling was Thranduil's pride and joy, although days like this had him wondering what other difficulties the elfling might present in the future.
Shocked when the tiny elleth had demanded to see the King's pee-maker, it had taken only a few gentle questions from the very red-faced ruler to determine what had transpired between the stark naked elleth and his son. A quick conference with the elleth's parents, followed by a very long, question filled, uncomfortable talk with Legolas, had ended the matter.
"Eru help me when you find out what else your pee-maker is for, Legolas…" Thranduil whispered, bending to kiss the crown of his son's head. "I sincerely hope it will not facilitate another visit from a naked elleth demanding to see my own."
He chuckled to himself as he left his son's bedroom, softly closing the door behind him.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Printed from Open Scrolls Archive (https://www.openscrolls.net) on Sat Nov 14, 2026 8:12 pm