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Title: My Estel (#3443)
Author: Texasgirl
Chapters: 1
Archive: Tolkien
Category: Lord of the Rings (Movieverse)
Description: A bittersweet letter from Arwen to Aragorn.
Roughly set after Helm's Deep.
Challenge fic!
Published: 17 May 2007
Updated: 17 May 2007
Warnings:
Type: Romance
Characters: Arwen; Aragorn
Chapter 1 - Meleth Nin
Aragorn son of Arathorn, in Rohan
February 3019
Meleth nin,
The snows have melted but the earth remains bare, and I am reminded it has been three seasons since last I saw your face and one since I traced words on traveled parchment made by your hand. Around me the Dell is quite - the waters of my youth do not flow as strong and clear as they used to. I am hailed as Undomiel by my people, but Estel, I do not think I am any example of beauty now; my spirit is tired and old and crushed by lasting despair and grief.
Sometimes in my dreams I hear your voice singing as you did the night you called me Luthien. Oh my Estel, in these dreams I turn around and you are there: a quiet smile across your face, dressed like you have just come back from the Wilds. You look thin and weary and smell like you need a wash, but I cannot help myself and always my feet fly so to be embraced by your arms moments sooner.
I am crying now, and cannot alleviate the aching in my breast. I love you so much, Estel, that it hurts. You are the embodiment of everything dear to me on this earth; I tremble remembering the gentleness of your touch and the passion and promise in your eyes when you held me last.
Meleth, what a foolish elleth I was those years ago. I once believed love to be just a popular diversion where maidens and elves drank sweet wine, flirted, and stole kisses. I thought there was a prescribed routine followed faithfully by handsome elves courting beautiful elleths and feelings needed only to extend skin-deep. Oh Estel…I was born millennia ago, but have only truly lived since you opened my eyes and heart and mind.
It is strange to think that you in your tender years were already wiser than I after thousands. I once mocked your vivaciousness passing it for human boisterousness, but then I saw what I mocked you for I lacked; you have always had a zeal for life, and it is this gift from you that I treasure second to your love.
Your love…my ink dries as I think of words adequate enough to describe your love for there are none. Whatever eloquence I may possess vanishes as I think of you and your love for me. There are times I cannot breathe for laughing with joy because I know your heart; sometimes I dance across my room and run anywhere, everywhere because your love so nourishes me. Oh, all pretenses of ladylike poise vanish when I wrap my arms around myself and shout with delight on receiving a letter from you. No other words reach my withering tongue now, Estel, but know that your love is the greatest and most important part of my life.
Meleth nin, I know you would have me leave these shores to be with my immortal kin in Valinor; but that is impossible. So, my noble heart, I await your return. Do not think to dissuade me from my path, you cannot. I love you too much, Estel: and you are my choice until the end of this mortal life.
Forever,
Arwen
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