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Title: Roac and Roll (#3827)
Author: eiranae
Chapters: 1

Archive: Tolkien
Category: The Hobbit
Description: A Raven by any other name is NOT near as sweet! Challenge presented by Neume.
Published: 11 Jul 2008
Updated: 11 Jul 2008
Warnings: Irritable raven
Type: Humour
Characters: Irritable raven


Chapter 1 - Roac and Roll

“And over here we have an example of the common crow.”

Roac DCCLXXVII glared through the mesh at the passing throng of morons.

Stupid blighter! Why don’t they teach these pillocks the difference between a ‘common crow’ and a Raven! Why me great, great, great, great, great, great…well one o’ me grand das was carryin’ messages for Winston Churchill before that little git ever entered anyone’s thoughts.

It was Brac DCCLX what taught them brainless pigeons to tote messages! Barmy birds cain’t even manage ta speak proper. And let’s not forget them multi-colored eye-sores, the parrots. Who does he think taught ‘em ta mimic every word they hea’. Bloody tape recorders, them.

If it weren’t fer me wings bein’ clipped, I’d poke ‘is eyes ri’ out! ‘Common crow’!

I’ve got me roots all the way back ta the Great Roac what took the messages to Daín o’ the Iron Hills hisself. Bet that prat has Orcs fer ‘is grandsires!

‘Common crow’! Huh!

And with that thought, Roac DCCLXXVII hopped back to the nest where future Ravens lay warming under a shimmering blue-black beauty.

A/N: This challenge was given to me by Neume. Thanks so much to her for the challenge and the beta.
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