Story Downloaded from Open Scrolls Archive (https://www.openscrolls.net)

Title: Never Realizing (#3998)
Author: Ivy
Chapters: 16

Archive: Tolkien
Category: Alternate Universe (AU)
Description: The Prince of Mirkwood's son seems to be seeing every elleth on the island, when really, he doesn't know what's in front of his eyes. Sequel to Not Knowing (on ff.net)
Published: 28 Jan 2009
Updated: 01 May 2009
Warnings:
Type: Romance
Characters:


Chapter 1 - Like Father, Like Son

Prologue : Like Father, Like Son

“Legolas, I am worried about Elfaer,” Fanya said quietly to Legolas as she paced the balcony of the talan that Legolas had built upon the family's arrival in the Undying Lands. She stared in the direction of her son’s talan, with an expression only a mother can accomplish when worried for her child.

“What, love?” Legolas replied vaguely.

“Legolas, will you stop fletching your arrows for one minute?” Fanya snapped at him, whirling around and marching right over to his side.

“I suppose...” Legolas heaved a long, dramatic sigh before turning his face up to his wife with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“I said,” Fanya emphasized, “that I’m worried about Elfaer.”

“And why would you be worried about our son?” Legolas asked while pulling Fanya by her hand down to sit across his lap. He kissed her shoulder lightly and waited for her answer.

“He’s just doesn’t seem the same these days. He’s not...”

“Social?” Legolas finished for her.

“Yes, that’s it. He’s not social, or even less than normal. I’ve not seen him in days and neither has Anaria or Celeblaer. That’s not like him. He at least shows his face every once and a while, even if he doesn’t involve himself…”

“How do you know who he really is?” Legolas challenged.

“I’m his mother. I know everything about him,” Fanya answered firmly, practically without thought. Legolas smirked, the juvenile twinkle still in his eyes. “What?” Fanya asked defensively.

“I think you’re overreacting,” Legolas replied.

“Overreacting? I am not.” Fanya cocked her head arrogantly. “I don’t think you’re considering the situation entirely.”

“Considering what? Love, our son has just not been seen for a while. Perhaps he finally has eloped with his lovely Virana to go and ravage her at the cliffs.”

“I refuse to entertain the idea that my son would ravage anyone.”

“Well, Fanya, I’m certain that you’ve heard a phrase before...” In a quick maneuver, Legolas had flipped and pinned Fanya to the ground and was hovering over her body. “Like father, like son.”


Chapter 2 - Never Knowing

Chapter 1: Never Knowing

“Elfaer, I need to speak with you a moment,” Virana said with a quiet and knowing smile that was incredibly like her. Elfaer smiled in return and reached out to take her hand, feeling its softness and loving the way that it fit in his own. The time that they had spent together had been blissful, truly the best of his life. Even when they said nothing to each other, Elfaer felt like their silence spoke volumes about how comfortable and perfect they were. After a moment, when she didn’t speak any more, Elfaer squeezed her hand and that spurred her to speak again. “Elfaer, please don’t make this harder for me.”

What?

Elfaer stopped walking when he suddenly realized what was occurring. He had sensed that something was wrong recently. While they spent every moment of their days together – and many moments of their nights – Elfaer feared that Virana was not as happy as she was before. He feared that it would be the end of his own blissful days with her. He felt Virana try and tug her hand out of his, but he held fast. He did not want to let it go… did not want to let her go. He stared at her with open eyes and a pain rapidly blossoming in his soul. What had gone wrong?

“Elfaer, this isn’t working for me,” Virana said, her eyes downcast and her body turned away from his. She knew how much this break-up would hurt Elfaer.

“Why?” Elfaer spoke quietly. He did not know if he wanted to know why… but he felt as if he was being torn in two, ripped asunder and the pieces tossed out into the wind.

“I think you know why,” Virana said, her voice steadying but not gaining in confidence. She spoke carefully, knowing that whatever she said would most probably hurt more than she wanted to hurt this sweet elf. “I never know what you are thinking. I do not know who you are, Elfaer. You are kind and you are gentle and you are a careful lover… but all these are actions, they are not you. I do not think I can carry on never knowing how you feel… not anymore.”

“Virana, I-” Elfaer tried to say, but Virana stopped him again before he could speak any more.

“Elfaer, we have had our time. I… must go now.”

He let go of her hand and watched her walk away, feeling as if his heart would drop from his body where he stood. He hadn’t even had a chance to tell her how he felt.

Elfaer did not leave his talan for many days, such was his sorrow. He holed himself up in his room and stared at the ceiling, at the leaves, at whatever caught his attention and held it for long enough.

He could not believe that he had not seen it coming.

He rolled over and recalled the day that Virana had caught his eye. They had been at a gathering around a bonfire, similar to the forest circles that occurred in the Greenwood on the other shore. Virana had been dancing, her hair free and her skirt swishing around her body, tantalizing like a vine twirling and snaking around a twig. She had spotted Elfaer’s stare and dragged him into the primal dance.

The dance had led to a kiss, which had led to one magnificent night under the stars with his new lover.

They had coupled well, and Virana had a very earthy and primal feeling about her that spurred his desire for her even further. Elfaer had found himself smitten from the start, helpless to fight the pull towards her.

He smiled now, but it was bitter.

They had been lovers for only a few months. Elfaer had felt content… happier than he had in years. He was not a solemn person, but he did feel lonely. Being with Virana had made him feel like he belonged to someone, and they both belonged to the world.

What did he belong to now?

“Elfaer! You cad! Come and let down the ladder.”

Ah yes… Family.

“No,” Elfaer said, rolling over in his bed and burying his face into his pillow.

“If you do not, I will climb up!”

‘She would,’ he thought bitterly. Elfaer ignored his sister’s voice and tried to drown himself in his miserable thoughts. He did not want to see anyone today, though it soon became clear that he could not avoid Anaria. She was young and stubborn and… climbing through the window.

“Brother, dear. Stop being so antisocial,” Ana said walking over to his bed and pushing him off onto the floor. Ana seemed to combine warm, considerate qualities (reminiscent of his mother) with annoying-little-sister traits (reminiscent of his father…).

“Ana!” he exclaimed with a grunt.

“You have locked yourself in here for nearly eight days. You need to get out of here.” Elfaer responded with a foul glare. “Don’t give me that,” she said rolling her eyes. She walked to his wardrobe and selected fresh clothes for him. She stalked over and said, “Change.”

“No.”

“You will change into fresh clothes or I will strip you and dress you myself,” Ana warned. Elfaer sighed and held out his hands. Ana shoved the clothes into his hands and walked out of the room to give him the privacy he wanted, though as an elf and not as body-conscious as humans, did not necessarily need.

He stared at the clothes in his arms and grudgingly admitted to himself that Ana was right. He needed to forget Virana. He pulled on the clothes and stepped out into the other room, where Ana was straightening things.

“Where are you dragging me?” Elfaer asked with a grimace.

“To Mother and Father’s house,” Ana replied, up righting books on his bookshelf.

“Ana, please,” he begged. He was not sure he could deal with his mother’s inquisitiveness. She would weasel everything out of him.

“If you dare walk back into your room, I will drag you behind my horse,” Ana said, turning and climbing down the ladder.

Elfaer sighed and steeled himself to a night full of questions and followed her down the ladder.


Chapter 3 - Life Keeps Moving Forward

Chapter 2 : Life Keeps Moving Forward

“Goodnight, son,” Legolas said to Elfaer, who, after a long night of dinner and an impromptu (though expected) interrogation from his mother, was escaping into the night feeling relieved.

Elfaer nodded to his father and let his mother pull him into her embrace. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and sent him on his way, calling after him, “Do not stay away for too long, or I’ll sic Ana on you again.”

Once Elfaer had descended the ladder, Fanya shut the trapdoor and straightened up. “What a night,” she said with a sigh as she turned to her husband. Legolas, she noticed, did not look pleased; it was in the stiffness of his neck and the steel in his eye. She took his hand and led him to a chair, where she sat him down and started to rub his neck. “What is wrong, my love?” she asked softly, as she worked.

“Does it not bother you?” he asked, eyes closed.

“What?” she responded. She wondered where his thoughts were.

“Our children no longer need us,” he said glumly. He sighed and finally relaxed, slumping deep into the chair.

“Of course it bothers me, Legolas. I do not want them to all grow up and get hurt – like how Elfaer is hurting right now. But I do know that this is part of life. They will never not need us, though. It is their turn to go out into the world and make a few mistakes.” Fanya paused and gave a small smile. “Imagine how Thranduil has felt for most of your life, Sir Nine Walkers,” she reminded him with a nudge.

“Terrified, out of control,” Legolas listed dully.

Fanya chuckled softly. “I can imagine.” She rubbed his neck in silence for a few minutes longer and felt the elf beneath her hands start to finally relax and let go.

Legolas, while always enjoying the ministrations of his wife’s hands, was still not totally at ease in his mind. “Suddenly I feel as if I owe my father an apology,” he mumbled sullenly.

“Nonsense,” Fanya replied. “He knows you and knows that you could or would not have behaved in any other way. He is proud of you, just as you are proud of your own children.” Fanya kissed his head and Legolas pulled her into his lap. She curled up and relaxed, forever grateful that she had his support in any of her crazy motherly schemes to investigate into their children’s lives. Grateful that she had his support in all aspects of her life. Grateful that he had taken her and grown with her into their life now.

“Thank you,” Fanya mumbled into Legolas’ chest.

“For what?” Legolas asked, resting his chin on her head.

“For marrying me,” Fanya replied simply.

“Oh…” Legolas trailed off and thought for a moment. “You’re welcome, I suppose.”


Chapter 4 - This is Healing

Chapter 3 : This is Healing

Dinner the night before had not been an awful affair, Elfaer thought with a noncommittal shrug as he prepared to leave his talan, he might have actually enjoyed himself after a while.
-----

He opened the door in the floor of the talan and stepped down onto the ladder. He was not sure where he would go, but he had awoken feeling restless and knew that he needed some activity. Perhaps he would go running and maybe visit his paternal grandfather. Thranduil would give him some kind of mindless task to perform and leave the inquisition for later, and Elfaer felt grateful that Thranduil had a habit of observing first and questioning later.

Elfaer was in the process of climbing down the ladder, thinking that if Thranduil had nothing for him to do, he could relax in the library for a while, when a voice suddenly yelled, “Hello there! Where have you been, recluse?” and startled him out of his thoughts. He dropped gracelessly to the ground and wobbled a bit, glaring at the elf.

“Too many people have asked me that,” Elfaer replied with irritation clear in his tone.

“Ah yes. They would, when you lock yourself in your house for days on end. I can see why you are so frustrated, having brought this upon yourself.” Tathen flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and started to walk away with a very Tathen-like bounce in her step. “Well, are you coming with me or not?” she asked without turning around.

Elfaer took in a melodramatic sigh and followed her, having nothing else to do. Tathen was beautiful, as were all elves, and a bubbly and bright spirit that seemed to invade any darkness around her. Thoughtfully, he realized that she was exactly the kind of ‘cure’ that a sullen Elfaer needed. Most of him wanted the cure. The rest wanted to sulk for another month or so.

“So you disappeared because…” Tathen prompted after mere moments of silence. Elfaer did not respond, just studied his feet as they walked, offering no response. “I suppose you disappeared with Virana and…” she trailed off suggestively, watching him restlessly kick through the dust on the path.

“No,” Elfaer replied a little bitterly.

“Then she…?” Tathen asked sympathetically, jumping to the next conclusion.

“Is not my chosen lover, no.”

“She left you?” Elfaer leveled a stare at Tathen, full of many unspoken things. “Alright! I won’t mention it again…” the two of them continued their walk. Elfaer noticed they were heading to the coast and suspected that they would go fishing. Tathen dragged him along every once and a while, insisting that it was fun. AND delicious in the end, if they fished with her father.

“Are you alright?” Tathen probed timidly. Elfaer shrugged halfheartedly. She seemed to understand. It was one of the things that Elfaer appreciated most about her, she understood the unspoken.

They walked a little longer in silence. Elfaer bemusedly watched Tathen become increasingly more uncomfortable with the silence, until she finally burst and began to talk his ear off, babbling about some nonsense of new gossip, her siblings, and a lovely bird she saw next to her talan that morning. Elfaer relaxed into the steady stream of speech from his truest friend. She was the only one who would not press him for information that he did not enjoy giving. And he appreciated her even more for this.

They arrived at Tathen’s “unknown” destination and Elfaer found himself facing Tathen’s father, Lassen, and his pupils. Lassen was a fisherman, and was teaching some of the younger elves to fish.

Tathen grabbed Elfaer’s wrist and dragged him down to the seafront to her father, who was currently correcting an elfling’s grip on his fishing pole. Lassen beamed when he saw his daughter’s approach and happily greeted the pair.

“Tathen, my daughter,” he said, kissing his daughter’s cheek with love. “And Elfaer, well met.” He gripped Elfaer’s forearm in greeting. Elfaer nodded in response. “I always appreciate a man of few words, my boy, as I am not one such man! Will you join me?”

“Certainly,” Tathen answered. “It is why we are here!” She collected two rods and handed one to Elfaer and they fell into the routine of the experience. This was part of Tathen’s life, a part which she enjoyed sharing with him. As they caught fish and put them into a basket for Lassen to sell at the market, Elfaer found himself enjoying the day much more. It was much easier now that he had a friend and an activity to enjoy. Tathen and her father kept up a steady stream of conversation, and occasionally Elfaer volunteered something to the conversation, though he enjoyed listening so much more. A smile broke out on his face.

‘So this is healing…’


Chapter 5 - A Seed Planted

Chapter 4: A Seed Planted

“Elfaer, could you possibly sink further into that wall?” Tathen giggled as she moved to stand by him. “Won’t you join in on all the fun?”

“Dancing is fun?” Elfaer replied with mock awe in his voice.

“Yes, it is,” Tathen said with a firm nod, ignoring her friend’s sarcasm. “Come and dance!” Tathen grabbed at Elfaer’s arm, but he resisted, rooted to his spot.

“I wouldn’t want to draw any attention from my sister,” he replied quickly. That was a good enough excuse. Tonight was the night Ana’s coming of age was made official. She was glowing and Elfaer was proud of his younger sister. She was handling herself with poise and elegance in flowing silks and glittering jewels, most of which had belonged to their paternal grandmother.

Elfaer’s gaze fell upon his father and mother and both of his grandfathers. Linque stood next to Thranduil and they were deep into a bottle of Dorwinion wine. ‘Some things will never change,’ Elfaer thought with a smirk.

Legolas was looking regal in his silvers and leaves. A circlet crowned his brow, though Elfaer knew that he did not enjoy wearing it. Elfaer, Celeblaer, and Ana also wore silver circlets, though he knew that it was more of a formality.

Elfaer watched his mother fawn over Ana. She straightened Ana’s silver circlet and kissed her daughter’s cheek. Ana smiled, said something to Fanya, who nodded, and Ana bounced off to her little clique of friends. Fanya was not left alone for long, for Legolas appeared behind her almost immediately, kissing her bared shoulder and sliding his arms around her waist to draw her close.

Elfaer wanted love like his parents loved. Like his brother loved his wife. Like the love he saw every day, everywhere.

Someone punched his arm, hard, drawing him right out of his wistful thoughts. He winced and glared at the offending elf, who he was not very surprised to see was Tathen.

“You looked wistful,” she explained. Elfaer rubbed his arm and threw another dirty look at Tathen, who remained unfazed. “Don’t look so pitiful and I won’t have to pity you... Now. Are you going to dance or not?”

Legolas was blissfully happy, because his family was blissfully happy. Nothing made him happier than to relax into the love and security that he and his family created and nothing made him more proud than to see his children grown and experiencing life, no matter how sentimental it made him feel.

“Look at that, love,” Fanya said quietly. He could hear a smile in her voice. He rested his chin on her head and splayed his hands all over her midsection. He squeezed her waist and then kissed her neck lovingly. “Stop that, you naughty elf,” she swatted at his hands. “Look at our son.”

“Celeblaer is with his wife.”

“Not that one, the other one,” Fanya said with little patience, pointing eagerly to the center of the dance floor.

“Elfaer is… Dancing?” It was not a statement, it was shock. Elfaer knew how to dance, but had never willingly exercised the knowledge. “With Tathen,” Legolas noted.

“With Tathen…” Fanya repeated with a knowing smile. Legolas stared at his wife and wondered what she saw through those beautiful blue eyes of hers.

“What?” Legolas asked.

“Nothing,” Fanya replied, turning and wrapping her arms around her husband’s neck. “Let’s… go for a walk in the gardens. I would greatly appreciate the… fresh air,” she said, her voice laden with hidden meaning that Legolas had no problem deciphering. He snaked his arm around her waist and they strolled outside into the moonlight.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Tathen asked with a smile. She already knew he was. She knew how to read her quiet friend.

Elfaer nodded. The dance was quite enjoyable; quick and lively and the kind of dance that provoked laughter that shined in a person’s eyes and soul. He was very glad he could share the experience with his best friend.

Tathen twirled and landed in his arms. She giggled and spun out again, darting away, out of the dance line, teasing him to follow her. She looked back once to make sure he was following, and then exited the building, making for the gardens. She slowed down once outside and looped an arm through his and silently they walked arm in arm through the starlit gardens in a silent and enjoyable camaraderie. They passed lovers in the bushes and generally tried to ignore them until…

“Legolas, stop that! People will – oh my…”

Tathen and Elfaer shared a look of amused awkwardness and managed to wait until they were on the other side of the gardens before they burst out laughing.

In that moment, Elfaer knew that he had met his match.


Chapter 6 - Zing!

Chapter 5 : Zing!

Elfaer stared at the fire without actually seeing it. He had spent the whole night with Tathen, smiling with her laughing with her, and following her wherever she went, trailing her flowery scent.

He had clearly drank too much.

Every once and a while she would look up at him in the middle of chattering away animatedly, flipping her silvery blonde hair out of her face, and something within him would ‘zing!’

Yes. He had clearly drank too much. Things did not go ‘zing’. Not anything that was supposed to, anyway.

The flames were starting to fade when he remembered why he had lit the fire in the first place. ‘No… it’s too late to eat, anyway.’ He decided to bypass cooking something and instead chewed on a piece of bread that was nearly stale. Tathen and her mother had made it and Tathen had given some to Elfaer because she knew how much he liked his mother’s recipe.

Zing!

“Stop that,” he said to the zing. “You don’t exist.”

Elfaer did not rest that night, or what was left of it. He instead grabbed his bow and headed to the archery range. He was very similar to his father in many ways, both in looks and in habits. One particular habit that Elfaer had picked up from his father was to head to the archery range when in thoughts conflicted. The way he could lose himself somewhere in between the ‘twang’ of the bow and the soft ‘thwup’ of the arrow hitting the target was a high that little else could achieve.

When Elfaer reached the range he found himself quite alone. This was to be expected, as Anor’s light had barely just begun to brighten the Eastern horizon. It was enough light for Elfaer to see.

Elfaer strung his first arrow heavily.

He let it go.

‘Zing!’

“No,” he said as the arrow slashed through the air into the outer rings of the target. “You do not exist.” He strung another arrow.

‘Zing!’

“You do NOT exist.”

Another arrow.

‘Zing!’

“You do not EXIST.”

Another arrow. And another. And another, until the last one was gone. He finally surfaced from his reverie and allowed himself to see his shoddy work. Not one even had made it to the center circle. The feathers on the ends rustled in the morning breeze.

“You mock me,” Elfaer growled at them. He marched over to the arrows, wrenched them all out, and stomped back to repeat the process all over again. He shot arrows until he was no longer missing the target and until the arrows no longer ‘zinged’.

“Zings do not exist, anyway,” Elfaer grumbled as finally other elves started to trickle onto the range.

He left not feeling any better.


Chapter 7 - Maybe Later

Chapter 6 : Maybe Later

“Elfaer was at the archery range this morning,” Fanya said to Legolas with a sly and knowing smile.

“Oh?” Legolas said. He poured tea into two cups and handed one to Fanya. He kissed her forehead and sat down at the table with his own cup. He took a sip and then glanced at his wife, oblivious to the smirk that graced her face. “What?” he asked, once he saw her expression.

“Just ‘oh’? You don’t want to know anything else?” Fanya asked, not really believing her husband’s passé attitude.

“Of course I want to know. I just know that it is very likely that you will tell me anyway and that you will gain more pleasure from speaking more and pretending that you are irritated with me,” Legolas said with a gleam in his eye.

“What if I do not know anything else?” Fanya countered.

“Of course you know something else. You are a mother. You know everything,” Legolas replied casually, taking another sip of tea. Fanya glowed with smug pride. Legolas knew he had said the right thing and tried not to smile too widely.

Fanya continued. “Elfaer was at the archery range this morning because he was confused. I think he has as thick of a head as his father does.” Fanya pointedly stared at Legolas. “And he cannot see what is right in front of him.”

Legolas mulled this over. “Why can’t my children be more normal?” he finally came out with, shaking his head in mock bewilderment.

“My children are perfectly normal, Elf,” Fanya snapped in reply. “Just because he is young and inexperienced and very like his father,” Fanya emphasized, “does not mean that he is strange.” She crossed her arms across her chest and leveled a stare at her husband.

Legolas knew that he had crossed some sort of line, though how serious he was not sure. “I know, my love,” he soothed. “I was merely trying to provoke you.” He rose and stood behind her chair.

“It won’t help, Legolas,” Fanya said stiffly as Legolas bent down and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Don’t distract me, I am trying to drink my tea,” Fanya said, raising the cup to her lips. When she set it down, Legolas kissed her lips gently. Fanya promptly sank into his embrace, quickly giving up her irritated mien.

“Let’s make a normal child,” Legolas smirked and nuzzled into the nape of her neck. He pulled her up out of her chair backed her against the wall and started kissing her.

“Legolas, you are terrible. We have three perfectly normal children.” Fanya indulged herself in a good lip-locking with her husband for a time, and then gently slipped out of his embrace and said, “Maybe later,” she purred and slipped out of the house.

“Maybe later?” called Legolas. A pause. “Fanya, don’t leave me like this!”


Chapter 8 - Invisibility

Chapter 7 : Invisibility

Words are not supposed to annoy you. Words are not supposed to dog your every thought in the day and every dream through the night. Words are not supposed to do those things to you that a person could.

And yet…

‘Zing!’

Elfaer muttered a foul word under his breath and sat under a tree behind his Grandfather’s houses. Thranduil owned several large buildings that were the center of business in their part of the island. The halls were public and the gardens, too, though Thranduil owned his own private quarters.

It was in the gardens that Elfaer sat that day. He went there often enough, whether to use his grandfather’s library or to spend time with the Elvenking, he often thought he spent more time around Thranduil than he did his own father.

There was a pond in the back, and Elfaer saw his friend Alagos. He had known Alagos on the other shore, had grown up with the elf. They were friends, though since their coming-of-age ceremonies, they had lost touch and drifted into separate social circles.

Alagos lingered by the pond looking impatient. Elfaer stood to go speak to him, but as he stood, Tathen came strolling by, (Elfaer firmly ignored the Zing,) and smiled and greeted Alagos.

Alagos smiled, but in the way that a male would to a female. Even from this distance, Elfaer could see the evidence that Alagos was affected by Tathen. It wasn’t anything obvious, but in the subtle way that he leaned toward her while she spoke, and the way that he stood slightly taller. Elfaer still knew him well enough to notice those changes. He had seen him use them enough when they were younger – Alagos was quite the charmer.

Tathen, Elfaer noticed with a bit of a shock, was also acting differently. She played with the ends of her hair and with her hands. She slid a ring off her finger and then back onto it again. It was as if she had suddenly gained a nervous habit. It was the typical body language that is so easy to notice between two prospective courters, Elfaer realized.

Elfaer observed and started to simmer in his suddenly negative thoughts. He did not like Tathen in that way… yet, he did not like her speaking and behaving like that towards Alagos, his friend. But if it were a stranger, would it irk him less?

The answer, he realized, was no. It would irk him just as much.

That fact irritated him even more.

Alagos and Tathen spoke for a while longer before Alagos kissed her cheek, lingering there a little longer than would be proper between friends. He nodded his head and left. Tathen stood alone for a moment after Alagos left, in thought. She smiled to herself and then headed toward Elfaer, who sank back to the ground beneath the tree. He wanted to be invisible, and to simmer in his irritated mood invisibly. Most elves did not see him, he knew this. Next to the powerful Celeblaer and the willful Ana, he was the Quiet One. But Tathen always saw him.

She sat next to him and leaned against the tree trunk. “Isn’t it a glorious day?” she practically sang. “The sun is bright and he breeze is pleasant and the flowers are in bloom…”

Elfaer remained silent. She continued her description of exactly how wonderful the day was until Elfaer was almost convinced that she had both forgotten where she was and that she was talking to someone else, until,

“Elfaer, is something the matter?”

Elfaer shook his head. Then shrugged.

“You look like you are at a breaking point. What is wrong?” Tathen asked, not being fooled, yet still being completely oblivious to Elfaer’s ailment.

Elfaer hesitated for a moment, then shrugged again. “I feel visible. Suddenly noticed. It is unnerving.”

Tathen nodded in understanding, though he was sure that she had never felt invisible a day in her life.

“You spoke with Alagos,” Elfaer said shortly. He tried not to betray his negativity.

“Yes. He is quite charming,” Tathen smiled widely again, returning to her dream world that she had been describing vividly, previously. “He says he would like to meet with me again, soon.” She appeared to be wholly thrilled at the thought. Elfaer thought that Alagos wasn’t her type of elf. He shoved the thought into the depths of his mind. He should not care who Tathen took an interest in. After all, it was none of his business.

Elfaer raised his eyebrows at Tathen. “How do you know him?” To his knowledge, the three of them operated in very different circles, which rarely overlapped.

“He buys fish from my father,” Tathen explained.

“Who doesn’t?” Elfaer muttered darkly, wondering how he had not thought of this before. Tathen laughed.

“Yes, who doesn’t?” she settled back into the tree roots and was silent for a while, and Elfaer too his opportunity as he always did to silently study Tathen. She looked truly happy, and full of a different kind of energy. It was if today she glowed from the heart instead of from the soul.

Tathen caught his eye and reached out her hand to grasp his. She said nothing, just squeezed his hand once and stood. It felt like a look of final recognition.

Elfaer watched her leave and felt as if he were suddenly not whole.


Chapter 9 - Second Place

Chapter 8 : Second Place

Time is an inexplicable and strange thing. There are some times when one will not notice the time that is flying past, not realize until it has long come and gone… but there are others when moments last months, and days last decades.

Time is felt differently to everyone. The Elves felt it much less than the mortal men did, and the gods likely did not feel it at all. Time does not wait for anyone nor does it apologize for its frequent unseemliness. Time was, all in all, a formidable opponent.

Elfaer was pondering the passage of time as he recalled the day a few months ago when Ana hit him over the head with what he already knew, though he would not admit that to himself.

Elfaer had been at the archery range again, as he frequently found himself more and more often as time passed… and as Tathen fell further in love with Alagos.

Elfaer had seen it coming – and though his foresight had helped, he had hoped that he would be wrong. Gradually, Tathen had started spending more time with Alagos, and it seemed like not long after that, they had become an item. Elfaer rarely ever saw them apart anymore.

Elfaer hated that he could not hate Alagos. Alagos was a good elf, and they had been friends once. Alagos was always friendly, if cocky, and he had proved a steady friend through their growing years.

Tathen was at that moment on the other side of the range with Alagos, and he was teaching her how to shoot. Tathen giggled with glee every time she hit the target, no matter how shoddy a hit.

Elfaer released a shot that was so powerful the arrow lodged itself halfway into the target. Fury pounded through him as he watched Alagos reward Tathen’s most recent shot with a kiss.

“Funny, what love does to you,” Ana said offhandedly, sidling up to Elfaer and glancing from him to Tathen and Alagos.

“I wish that they would stop. They’re making a scene,” Elfaer grunted, trying to block out the two lovers across the field from his peripheral vision.

“Well, yes,” Ana shrugged. “But I was referring to you.” With that, Ana walked off, leaving a dumbfounded and rather shocked Elfaer in her wake.

“What?” Elfaer asked to where she had been standing. He grabbed at his bow, (he had dropped it) and ran after Ana, who was on the road already and smirking proudly to herself as she felt his presence behind her.

“You had no idea?” she asked him, keeping her eyes firmly on the path in front of her as she spoke.

“I did…” Elfaer admitted finally.

“But you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.”

“No,” Elfaer countered. “She is in love with Alagos,” he said, defeated. “I did not think it would be so obvious that…”

“Oh, it is not- don’t worry,” Ana said quickly. She turned round to face her brother. “But to us,” –Elfaer assumed here that she meant their family – “It is.” She paused and Elfaer wondered what she would say next. However, Ana continued no further on that subject, but instead said, “I must leave. I am to help mother with her jams.” Elfaer nodded and slowed his pace, watching Ana walk off into the distance.

Since then, Elfaer had realized, and admitted to himself, his affection to the bubbly, outgoing, occasionally irritating elf. That day he had also realized what little he could do about it.

Even now at this precise moment in time, Tathen was still with Alagos.

Elfaer doubted he would ever get his chance.

Alagos was handsome, outgoing, and charismatically charming… Elfaer was handsome – he knew this. He looked too much like his father to not be – but he was shy, quiet, and did not have the way with words like Alagos did. Elfaer had no chance.

He feared he would always be in second place.


Chapter 10 - Perhaps

Chapter 9 : Perhaps

“Have you ever noticed my lady’s beauty?” Alagos asked Elfaer while they are were at the archery range together. Alagos had found Elfaer there a few hours before, and had asked if he could join him. Ever since, he had kept up a continuous strain of commentary on his favorite significant other.

“Yes, I have.” ‘Shoot me’ Elfaer silently pleaded dryly.

“It shines so clearly through her soul… I suppose even you would see that.” Alagos effortlessly strung anther well-aimed shot and it landed right next to the previous one in the bull’s-eye.

“I would.” Elfaer agreed. ‘It would be so easy…’

“And her humor. Isn’t she always so happy?”

‘Just point and shoot.’

“It is one of the things that I love so much about her.”

‘On second thought, I will shoot you.’

“And between the two of us,” Alagos leaned in and said quietly, “She is a magnificent lover.” He winked.

‘Yes, you shall die. Leave me be.’ Elfaer’s thoughts were morbidly dry and sarcastic as of late, especially toward this particular elf. “Oh really?” Elfaer said aloud. He mentally squashed the image of running Alagos through with a blunt arrow and knew that he would never be able to complete such a task without feeling at least a little guilty.

“Am I boring you?” Alagos asked. “You seem as if you are not all here.”

“Not at all, my friend, I am merely concentrating too hard on my aim.” Elfaer tried not to let the lie show. Alagos either accepted it or decided not to press the topic, for Elfaer soon found himself alone when Alagos slipped away shortly after.

‘No doubt to be with Tathen,’ Elfaer thought sullenly. He strung his bow and loosed an arrow, which flew true into the center of the target. ‘It is for the best,’ Elfaer thought suddenly. ‘Tathen is happy and so is Alagos, and they are both my friends, who I am very fond of and wish the best for.’

“They deserve each other,” he said aloud.

No matter how often he told himself this, he still didn’t like it.

Very soon after Elfaer had made his decision to leave Alagos’ and Tathen’s relationship alone, he realized how hard it would be.

Normally, he spent much time with Tathen, and now, Tathen spent much time with Alagos… Thus, Elfaer found himself in the company of two elves who rarely noticed anyone else other than themselves. Elfaer was used to being invisible, true, but he found Tathen’s company awkward when she was with Alagos. She was a completely different elf when around just him.

And yet, Elfaer was still completely in love with her. Despite the fact that she was fawning all over his friend, he still hoped she would fawn all over him someday. He couldn’t help but dream…

“Elfaer!” Tathen called to Elfaer, who was in his Grandfather’s study. “Elfaer! Oh hello, Thranduil,” she added.

“Good afternoon, my dear girl,” said Thranduil to Tathen, rising and kissing her cheek. “How are you?”

“I am doing fine. May I steal Elfaer for a while?” Tathen asked with a cheeky grin. Her eyes flashed across to Thranduil’s grandson.

“Certainly,” Thranduil replied, ushering Elfaer out the door. Elfaer followed Tathen out the door.

“What were you doing in there?” Tathen asked, looping her arm through Elfaer’s and steering him outside.

“Reading,” Elfaer responded. “Talking, reading more.”

“You talk to people?” Tathen joked, jabbing him in the side with her elbow.

“Thranduil talks… I listen intently,” he clarified with a smile, rubbing his ribs. It was true that Thranduil could talk an elf’s ears off.

“That sounds more like you,” Tathen agreed. She steered them through the streets, chatting lightly along the way of this and that. Elfaer relaxed into the familiarity of the situation, grateful for the first time in months to share some time alone with his friend. He felt, as he had for some time now, the pull of his soul yearning for hers and allowed his mind to wander between the ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s; between universes they could be together and universes where they could not.

He was brought back to the present when he realized that Tathen was no longer beside him. He turned and saw that she had stopped, and looked incredibly pensive. He sensed her internal conflict and tired to cast through his immediate memory to remember what she had just said. He came up with empty hands.

“What is wrong?” he asked, finally deciding that he would not be able to remember her words.

“I miss you,” Tathen responded, her vision focusing on him.

“I do too, but why now?” Elfaer asked.

“I spend too much time with Alagos, and he is not you,” she replied, simply.

“Do you love him?” Elfaer asked. Suddenly he wished he had not asked the question, for fear of the answer.

“Perhaps…” she answered. “Perhaps not.”

Later that night, as Elfaer prepared to rest, he heard her words again. ‘Perhaps not,’ echoed through his brain, the promise that came with it as strong as ever.

‘Perhaps not…’

His hope was kindled again.


Chapter 11 - A Short Story

Chapter 10 : A Short Story

“Spying, my love?” Legolas whispered into Fanya’s ear. Fanya, who was crouched behind some bushes and wearing Legolas’ Lothlórien cloak (it smelled of him; her own cloak was neatly folded in a drawer at home), gave Legolas a scornful glance.

“I am not spying. I am collecting knowledge,” she whispered firmly.

“You are spying, beloved wife, on our younger son,” Legolas whispered in her ear. He kissed the tip of her ear and smiled when she nearly overbalanced and had to grab at his leg to keep steady.

“That was cruel.” She stood and faced Legolas. “Go and speak with him.”

“So I am to spy now?” Legolas asked with a smirk.

“No, because it is not spying when they know you are watching. Now go.” Fanya pushed Legolas out from the cover of the trees and Legolas strolled across the pitch to where his son stood. Elfaer shot and hit the target straight on. Legolas beamed, he couldn’t help but be proud that his own son was so proficient.

“Good morning, son,” Legolas said as he strolled across the grass. Elfaer looked around and nodded, before returning to shoot again. Legolas stood by Elfaer while he went through the quiver. Elfaer went and retrieved the arrows, and when he returned he handed the bow to his father. “You shoot.”

Legolas shot. While he did, he observed Elfaer, and the expressions passing over his face. He knew his son well – he had raised him – and he could read in his expression and posture that something was deeply wrong. Elfaer was troubled, and Legolas wanted to help him. Even with his shoddy concentration, Legolas was the expert shot. When he moved to retrieve the arrows, he said, “How are you, son?” and knowing that it was a lame statement, he added, “Your mother is worried about you.”

Elfaer thought for a moment, seemingly sizing up his father and whether or not he was trustworthy of information. Evidently, he decided he was, because as Legolas returned he started to speak.

“I think I have fallen in love, but fear I will never receive it in return,” he said simply. He had never been one to dance around a subject. He angled his body away from his father and gripped his bow. Legolas stood to his side, saying nothing, waiting patiently. Elfaer heaved a sigh and his body relaxed. “It is Tathen.”

Something in Legolas’ brain clicked. “Tathen, who is currently involved with Alagos?”

“Tathen, who is currently involved with Alagos…” Elfaer repeated with a disheartened shrug.

“Alright, son,” Legolas said with a small smile. “I have a story to tell you.”

Elfaer eyed his father warily, but consented to listen. Legolas leaned against a post and began his story.

“There was once an elf who fell in love with another who could not stand his presence. He followed her across the world trying to convince her of his love, and with a great deal of persistence, he managed to convince her that his love was true. With time and a persistent kind of love from the elf, her hatred for him waned and together they began a new cycle of love. They were married and still are today, have three wonderful children who are grown and who sometimes have troubles of their own that they sort out by stealing away to the archery range in the early hours of the morning.” Legolas’ smile was wide as Elfaer followed his story.

“…Mother hated you?” he asked, disbelief written clear on his face. He knew how in love his parents were with each other. Even if it were sometimes a bit more graphic than he would wish.

“Yes, your mother hated me. It was short-lived, though. She obviously could not resist my charming demeanor and strikingly good looks,” Legolas said with a chuckle, grooming his neck proudly.

“I doubt that,” Elfaer said with cheek.

Legolas laughed. “You have nothing to worry about, Elfaer. If you love her, then you need to fight for her – it is as simple as that.”

“But what if she refuses?” Elfaer asked. His hesitation was clearly voicing a deep-running fear of his.

“Then she is not meant for you. You have nothing to lose,” Legolas encouraged. Elfaer nodded. Legolas stared at his son, who was so similar to him in so many ways, and felt a surge of pride for his strong, silent offspring. After a few moments of silence, Elfaer said, “Thank you, Father,” and left the pitch, carrying his bow with him.

Legolas had to wait all of a minute before his wife emerged from the cover of the forest. “I did well, did I not?”

“Mediocre, at best,” Fanya teased.

“You are an insufferable snoop, my darling,” Legolas replied with a cheeky grin. Fanya sashayed up to him and wound her arms up around his neck to draw him in for a kiss.

“I am not,” she replied coyly.

“You win, for the moment. Now…” Legolas said, drawing her further into him and saying softly, “About that baby…”


Chapter 12 - Balance

Chapter 11 : Balance

Elfaer did not mean to eavesdrop, but eavesdropping it was. Of course he could not help it if Tathen and Alagos decided to have conversations in remote areas that Elfaer just happened to frequent, no matter how recently the habit was acquired.

“Tathen, I want you to know something-” Alagos said with a serious tone. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers.

“What is it?” Tathen asked.

From where Elfaer was standing – alright, he was crouched hiding in a tree – he silently willed Alagos to end their relationship then and there.

Alagos did not respond to the thoughts that Elfaer was projecting, because he said lovingly, “I wanted to tell you how much I care for you; how much you mean to me…” He paused.

‘Probably to add insult to injury…’ Elfaer thought murderously.

“…I love you.”

Elfaer rolled his eyes and silently stewed in his jealousy and contempt.

“Oh, Alagos,” Tathen sighed. There was a long silence and Elfaer knew that they were kissing. Elfaer checked his emotions and knew that his jealousy was not good for him or anyone around him. Tathen clearly cared for Alagos and would no doubt be more than irritated if one day Alagos were to suffer an inexplicable and sudden injury of unknown origin.

A few more minutes of sweet conversation between the two followed and Elfaer sat silently in his tree and listened, wondering how he could approach Tathen. He did want to win her, but he did not want to upset any balances that existed, and with his father’s advice still floating in his head, he was content to wait. Tathen and Alagos soon went on their way and Elfaer jumped down from the tree. He walked in the opposite direction.

There was a balance to be preserved.

Life was ironic, Elfaer realized as he listened to Tathen talk. Tathen was baking bread in her kitchen and had dragged Elfaer out of his home to keep her company. To his sputtered question of ‘Why?’ she responded, “I need the company of someone other than that elf.”

(Elfaer had grinned rather stupidly at this.)

Tathen was chattering away as she kneaded dough and Elfaer found it amusing to listen to her string of conversation, (one-sided as it was). Even after spending her recent months with another elf, he enjoyed how comfortable things were between them. There was a routine they had created long ago that no amount of time or circumstance could change, and that comforted Elfaer.

He caught onto the string of her words and his interest was perked.

“…but I do not think so. Alagos is a wonderful elf, but within that, I do not think that he is the right one for me. I love him, but the deeper I go the more I realize that it will not work.”

Elfaer tried not to look pleased, he really did, but he failed miserably.

“What will you do?” he asked. Tathen looked up and seemed to realize what she was saying.

“Oh, Elfaer, I do not think there is much I can do. I am happy for now. Things are great between us, I just don’t want to settle down with him. As for having a lover, they do not come any better than him.”

Elfaer knew it was too good a chance. He relaxed back into his chair again.

Balance…

Elfaer was in his grandfather’s library enjoying some of the older works of literature that Thranduil and Oropher had acquired over the last several millennia. Elfaer was absorbed in the writings of an ancient battle when Alagos walked in and leaned against a shelf right next to Elfaer’s chair. Elfaer finished reading an interesting sentence and then looked up silently at Alagos. He was wound tight as a spring, and did not look at all happy.

“Alagos?” Elfaer asked with what he hoped sounded like curiosity. He thought he knew already what was frustrating him.

“It is Tathen,” Alagos gritted, crossing his arms. Elfaer did not like the look of where this was going. Alagos was on the offensive.

“What is wrong?” Elfaer prompted tentatively.

“Tathen has changed recently. The more I try to tell her of my love, the more she pulls away. But you know this already.” Alagos accused. When Elfaer did not deny it – how could he? He did know it – Alagos exploded. “How can you do this to me?”Alagos burst. “I should have known better than to trust you!”

Elfaer was so shocked by Alagos’ accusations that he was momentarily speechless. He stood up and set down the book to calm Alagos down and explain rationally to him, but Alagos did not begin to let him speak. “You have gone behind my back and stolen my love! Are you taking her to the Cliffside like you did with Virana?” Alagos was furious by this time and Elfaer was getting rapidly more offended by the second.

“Alagos-”

“I should have known better than to trust the son of Legolas Greenleaf, the glorified war-hero who slept with nearly every maiden in the Greenwood.” Alagos finished, the lowest blow of all.

Elfaer had had enough. “What?” he exclaimed. “This lauded speech coming from an elf who was at the forest circles every night with a different partner? What hypocrisy is this? Take your words back and leave me in peace. I shall leave you the same,” Elfaer spat.

“I cannot believe you would try and wriggle out like this! Apologize to me!” Alagos demanded.

“I will NOT apologize to you,” Elfaer yelled. By this point both the elves were yelling and Elfaer was finding it oddly satisfying to scream at someone. No wonder Thranduil bellowed so frequently.

“I love her and she is mine!” Alagos roared.

“BUT I LOVE HER TOO!” Elfaer countered.

“AHA! You admit to taking what is mine!” Alagos accused.

“I AM NOT A THING TO BE HAD!” a new voice interjected, interrupting the elves’ fight. Tathen was standing there, tears glistening in her eyes. “I am no mere possession and I will not be fought over and treated like a piece of meat!” She whirled around and ran out of the room. Elfaer and Alagos stood there in shock, unmoving. Neither one of them had noticed Tathen enter and neither one knew how to repair the situation.

The balance was gone. Elfaer wondered if it had ever even existed.


Chapter 13 - Just a Little Longer

Chapter 12 : Just a Little Longer

There was no helping it. Tathen hated both of them and they had to come to terms with it. Elfaer and Alagos watched Tathen storm off in a huff, both still silent.

Elfaer deflated, his hopes shattered in one fell swoop. Alagos, however, rounded on Elfaer and, palms flat, pushed Elfaer back. Elfaer was knocked into a shelf, and suddenly all his fight was back. He rallied, recovering.

“What was that for?” he exclaimed in anger.

“How can you do this to me?” Alagos roared.

“Do what? I did nothing!” Elfaer retorted.

“You ruined everything! I will never forgive you. I hate you!” Alagos yelled blindly.

“That is harsh, considering,” Elfaer replied with a scoff. He flicked his hair out of his face and prepared for whatever Alagos was going to do next.

“Considering what?” Alagos snapped.

“Considering she never really loved you-”

“YOU LIE!” Alagos cut him off. “I have had enough of this.” Alagos threw a punch that landed smack on Elfaer’s jaw. Elfaer took the blow and rallied, his fist meeting Alagos’ cheek. Elfaer’s hand stung, but it felt good. Alagos was recovering when a voice broke through the elves’ hazed and violent minds.

“ENOUGH!” boomed the voice of the only elf Elfaer knew who could achieve that resonance. The Elvenking and Legolas stepped between Alagos and Elfaer. “Stop this madness and end your quarrel,” Legolas said softly but firmly to the two young elves. Elfaer lowered his fists first and relaxed his stance but not his gaze. He stepped back and let his father lead him off, leaving Alagos behind with Thranduil, who was administering some quite harsh words on the other.

Legolas steered him into Thranduil’s office and once inside Elfaer finally shook off his father’s grip, now they were in private. “Are you alright, son?” Legolas asked, observing Elfaer’s bruise blossoming on his face.

“Do you think I am?” Elfaer muttered darkly.

“Of course not. What was going on?” Legolas pushed. Elfaer remained silent for a few moments, gathering the peace he so desperately needed, and failing miserably.

“We were fighting over Tathen,” he finally said. “She overheard us and will likely never speak to us for the rest of eternity,” Elfaer mumbled.

Legolas scoffed. Elfaer glanced at his father in shock. “Son, I highly doubt the truth in that statement. Tathen will no doubt come to forgive you. It will take time, though, there is no doubting that.”

Elfaer huffed. Time is what he did not want to think about.

“I thought I would find you here.”

Elfaer glanced up to see his sister standing at his shoulder. He nodded and returned his gaze to the setting sun and waves crashing down below. How many times had he come to this Cliffside in his lifetime?

“Are you alright?” Ana asked tentatively. Elfaer nodded again. Ana sat down beside him, facing him and giving him an exasperated expression. “Do not give me your silence, for I want your words. Speak, brother, and I may stop bothering you.”

“I doubt that, sister,” Elfaer replied. “If you insist on knowing, I am fine. I have lived this way for some time and so I shall continue. It is not so bad.” Elfaer turned to glance at his sister and saw her pitying expression. “Do not pity me, sister. I do not deserve such a feeling,” he said in a voice perhaps a little harsher than he had meant.

“But I do – and I shall. All you want is to love, and such has been denied you many times. I pity you, but if you want, I shall try not to,” Ana said compassionately. She took Elfaer’s hand and gave it a squeeze before standing and leaving him alone again.

Elfaer sat in silence, recalling the elves he had shared this very spot with. It was a place of many good and passionate memories, all of which he cherished and the most recent of which came from his time with Virana. He smiled. Good memories.

Good memories that he wanted to share with the most important person in his life.

Elfaer wished that he could mend things with Tathen, but knew that his father was right. It was up to her to forgive him, if she so chose. Right now it did not look so good. Only time would tell, if he could wait just a little longer.


Chapter 14 - An Echo

Chapter 13 : An Echo

“My son does not yell,” Fanya denied bluntly. “My son… expresses his opinions loudly.” Legolas had just informed his wife of the goings-on of the morning, as they were sharing a cup of wine between the two of them.

“Here you are wrong, my love. Elfaer was yelling, quite bellowing, and had just given Alagos a good knock to the jaw,” Legolas replied with amusement. He was a little surprised that his quiet son bore the bellowing trait that so frequented their family.

“Bellowed? He must have been angry.”

“I have never seen the likes before, my dear,” Legolas consented. He took the cup from Fanya, refilled it and took a sip. He set the cu down and reached over to his wife, plucking her from her spot and settling her on his lap. He kissed her shoulder lovingly and entwined their fingers together. He loved nights such as this, with just him, his wife, and the stars above them.

“I love you,” he said, wishing he could make the words hold every ounce of himself and his affection. Fanya smiled warmly and replied, “I love you, too,” before kissing him lightly on the nose. Legolas wrapped his arms around his wife and they sat in contemplative silence, each thinking of different and varying things before Fanya broke into the silence.

“Where is Elfaer now?” she asked with a mother’s worry in her voice.

“He is on the cliffs,” Legolas replied. “Or was. Ana told me earlier.”

“Now who is the nosy one?” Fanya teased.

“I lay the blame on you. I was perfectly content keeping to myself before you came along,” Legolas replied with dignity.

“Perfectly content? You wouldn’t leave me alone no matter how much I begged,” Fanya scoffed.

“That was persistence, my dear, not nosiness,” Legolas corrected. “There is a difference.”

“I concede a victory to you, my dear prince.” Fanya smiled, simply unable not to when they spoke so lightly. The scars of war did not fade quickly and Legolas carried many. She knew she was fortunate to have such a strong husband.

They sat in harmony for a little while longer until Legolas realized something. He had been resting his head on Fanya’s chest, listening to her heart beat, when he thought he had heard something familiar, but distant, like an echo…

“My love is something different?” Legolas asked, perplexed and anxious as he slowly made old connections.

“What?” Fanya asked, clearly playing dumb. “What exactly is so different?”

“You! You’re…” He pressed his hand to her stomach and gave a mental push. To his delight and astonishment, a tiny little push pushed back. “You’re pregnant! You’re pregnant!” Legolas whooped and jumped up to lift Fanya up and twirl her around. “Great gods, Fanya, when?” he pressed pulling her close and kissing her firmly.

Fanya laughed and glowed in a way only a mother could. “A few weeks, that is all. He has been waiting for his daddy to realize he exists,” she practically gushed.

“He? A boy! Another boy! Oh Fanya, I love you, I love you, and a thousand times over again.” He drew her in for a long kiss, and there they stayed for a long time after.


Chapter 15 - An Introduction and an Ending

Chapter 14 : An Introduction and an Ending

“Not another one!” Linque groaned as he entered the room and saw one more golden blonde head among the family. “Can’t you have another child that looks like me?” he asked, standing next to Celeblaer and smiling.

“I can’t help it if my features are just so much more dominant,” Legolas said, all smiles today. Fanya looked up at her husband from her bed and knew she knew that smile. It was the same one he had worn for every one of their children’s births.

“I tried, Father, but it is true. Aren’t you happy with one?”

Linque beamed and kissed his daughter’s head. “Not at all. He get’s three-”

“Two,” Ana interrupted. “You know I look like mother.” She shook her curly hair out of its clasp and the whole family laughed.

“Your hair is still fair,” Linque replied. “And that is simply unacceptable to a poor grandfather-” Linque was interrupted by a joyous exclamation from none other than Thranduil himself.

“Excellent! Let me see the elfling.” Thranduil caught sight of the baby and gave a whoop. “He looks just like you, son.” He clapped Legolas on the shoulder and beamed.

“Now, Thranduil, you do not need to gloat,” Fanya laughed.

“I mostly certainly do. I have a beautiful grandson AND I have won a bet!”

Linque grinned sheepishly when Fanya turned and exclaimed, “Father! You were betting on my son?”

“I know, my darling, I simply could not resist,” Linque smiled. He kissed the crown of her head and stood.

“What is his name?” Thranduil asked with a hopeful smile.

“Now, Father. You know we cannot tell you yet,” Legolas said, gazing fondly down at his youngest son. “You shall have to wait for the presentation, like everyone else.”

“Fine, but you had better name this one after me. I’ve given you three tries and you have disappointed me thus far,” Thranduil replied cheerily.

As per tradition, the naming ceremony was held a week after the birth. Many people gathered in the great hall and Fanya and Legolas were receiving the well-wishers who wanted to meet the youngest prince, and their sons were sitting at a table together, trying to look inconspicuous. Ana sat down at the table with a soft ‘whump’ and said, “Ugh, this is exhausting. So many people are here!”

“You have no idea, Ana,” Celeblaer said to her, rolling his eyes. This is the third time I have had to do this!”

“I suppose it is,” Ana said. “How was my ceremony?”

“Awful,” both brothers said in unison.

“Not as many people but…” Celeblaer added.

“You would not stop wailing. We had to end the ceremony early because people were starting to complain of headaches,” Elfaer continued.

“And you have not stopped making noise since…” Celeblaer finished. Ana pouted and hit his arm.

“You two are so cruel,” she said, though she was smiling a little.

“Look at our grandfathers. They know how to have a good time,” Elfaer said with an amused smile. Thranduil and Linque were strutting around like proud roosters, all puffed up and looking important. They were speaking with various elves who all looked rather amused by their show.

“Wait until Eluin and I have children. I wonder how they will react,” Celeblaer said, amused.

“Do us all a favor and wait for us to recover from this one,” Elfaer smirked. “Or just neglect to mention it to them at all.”

“I’d try but I don’t think that is possible, brother,” Celeblaer replied with a conspiratorial smile. “An elf with child is hard to hide.”

The affair, despite the siblings’ complaints, turned out very nicely in the end. The child’s name was announced at sundown, by Fanya.

“Canthuil is his name,” she said without pretense or show. She and Legolas grinned as Thranduil gave out a whoop. A ripple of laughter went around the crowd.

“Canthuil,” Elfaer and Celeblaer repeated with wide grins. The name was suitable.

Ana looked less amused. “Are you aware that our little brother is named-”

“’The fourth’, yes,” Celeblaer interrupted. “What cheek…”

Thranduil was seen later that evening holding Canthuil and speaking with Legolas happily. “What a fine name, resonant of his grandfather.” He puffed up his chest.

“Thranduil, you old toad, you can fill a room with that pride of yours,” Fanya said. “Now hand me my baby so he can be fed and get some rest.”

“Certainly, my darling,” Thranduil said, passing over the child delicately. “Anything for you. Goodnight little one!” Thranduil cooed. Legolas laughed. “What?” Thranduil asked.

“I never tire of the way you act around children,” Legolas answered, completely amused.

“You just wait until Celeblaer and Eluin start their own family,” Thranduil said knowingly. “Now, have a drink, son, and let us celebrate for the night!”

Celeblaer, Eluin, and Ana left Elfaer alone after a while, and Elfaer actually found himself a little lonely after a time. People everywhere were laughing, dancing, talking, and generally enjoying themselves. Elfaer knew that the elves enjoyed any excuse to mingle and drink wine, especially the wood elves formerly of Eryn Lasgalen. There was talk of a forest circle that night, and Elfaer found himself tempted to go.

‘What a way to finish the night,’ he thought.

Elfaer rose and made his way through the crowd to leave. He had made up his mind to leave, drink, and dance. Perhaps he would find a lover at the forest circle. It would certainly break the monotony…

Suddenly his arm was snatched, and Elfaer felt his body being tugged through the throng towards the door.

“Yes?” Elfaer said, going on the defensive when he saw who had caught him.

“You,” Alagos spat at him.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Elfaer said, trying to move away from the elf, and the possible confrontation that would follow.

“I won’t let you get off so easily, Greenleaf,” Alagos threatened.

“Don’t do this tonight, Alagos. You’ve been drinking and you are not yourself.”

“I will do this tonight! You ruined me! You stole my love out from under me! I’ll never let this go,” Alagos bellowed.

“I did none of those things, Alagos, and you know it,” Elfaer reasoned. However, Alagos would hear none of it. He opened his mouth to retort, when,

“Alagos,” a feminine voice interjected. Alagos stopped. It was Tathen. “Alagos, stop,” she plead.

Alagos stopped.

“Leave Elfaer be. He did not take me away from you, I did not come back.” She sounded tired, like she had been laboring under the weight for a very long time. Alagos looked crestfallen. He seemed to sober up and did not reply. “I am sorry, Alagos.” She turned to leave and walked into the darkness.

Elfaer left too, before Alagos could react. Elfaer did not want to be around for either a negative and explosive reaction or a negative and self-pitying reaction, so he hurried off after Tathen.

Tathen had not gotten too far. She was walking along the main road, arms crossed across her middle, almost hugging herself.

“Tathen!” Elfaer called. She did not stop. “Tathen, are you all right?” he asked, once he came level with her.

“I’m fine, Elfaer, I just need… I wish I had not had to do that,” she said, more to herself than to Elfaer.

“It’s not your-”

“Yes, it is, Elfaer. If I had not avoided him for an entire year, this would not have happened. I…” she stopped, seeming to lose all of her vocal momentum. “I do not want to do this to you, but I cannot deal with this right now. I… I’ll see you around, Elfaer.” She sped up. “Goodbye…”

She walked off into the night, leaving Elfaer in her wake, having no idea what had just happened, or what he could possibly do next.

He stood there for a moment, silently, then turned and walked home.


Chapter 16 - Full Circle

Chapter 15 : Full Circle

“Why do I have to look after him?!” Elfaer groaned to Ana, who was depositing their toddler brother into his arms.

“Because I have plans this afternoon, Celeblaer is busy with his own impending bundle of joy and mother and father have some kind of business with our Grandfather,” Ana listed.

“Ana, that is hardly fair,” Elfaer protested. As much as he loved his little brother Canthuil, he did not want to be running after the mischievous little tot all afternoon – it was exhausting.

“Have fun, brothers!” Ana said cheerily, bouncing away down the road. Elfaer looked at his brother who looked back with big blue eyes. Canthuil had inherited the beauty of the Greenleaves, like himself and his father, and despite the childlike pudge, he would grow up to be a very fine looking elf.

“What am I going to do with you?” he sighed, placing the child on the floor. He bubbled happily, drooling and sticking his fingers in his mouth. “You’re disgusting,” Elfaer said dryly. Canthuil giggled.

After a short while of trying to find something to do in his house and failing, Elfaer picked his bow and Canthuil up and descended the ladder. Canthuil would not interfere with the routine that Elfaer had created for himself. The child would be perfectly safe while Elfaer went to shoot at the archery range. He stopped at the market and paid for a loaf of bread for them to eat, and gave a piece to Canthuil to munch on while Elfaer set himself up. He had taken the child here often enough. Canthuil was destined to become an expert after all.

Canthuil was only three years old, and to Elfaer those three years had not gone quickly. Since Tathen had left him at Canthuil’s naming ceremony, Elfaer had not spoken with her. He didn’t try and mislead himself and pretend like he was happy about her absence, for he still harbored a tender spot for her in his heart and time did not mend nor rid him of those feelings. They lingered in a pocket of his heart and neither changed nor left him – and he was not sure which way he would prefer having it. He did not know if he wanted to forget Tathen and move on or not, and found himself at an emotional standstill. He wasn’t sure how to move on, and so he didn’t.

While Elfaer hadn’t moved on, he certainly hadn’t spent those years alone. After a time and with much encouragement from Ana, Elfaer had returned to the forest circles. He had enjoyed himself with those elves who he had taken up with, but none of them had meant anything to him.

Since her coming-of-age ceremony, Ana had positively blossomed. She had started attending forest circles with Elfaer and he had seen her leave with many a possible suitor. She was young but she had a good mind, and Elfaer knew that she would be fine.

While Elfaer reflected on the past few years, he thought wistfully of settling down with someone. He was getting to an age where he should be settling down and starting a family. Celeblaer and Eluin were expecting a daughter in a few months and Fanya and Legolas were just beside themselves with grandparent-like glee. Fanya was fussing all over Eluin and Legolas was marching around with a wide (and rather ridiculous) grin reminiscent of the ones that Thranduil wore very frequently around his grandchildren. Elfaer was looking forward to being an uncle and was thoroughly enjoying all the fuss; it made for a much more amusing afternoon on most days.

Most of an hour elapsed before Canthuil decided that bread was not fun, grass was not comfortable, and all other possible distractions were inadequate and dull. He started to wail, knowing already at such a young age that this would grab anybody’s attention. Elfaer cringed and picked up the little fair haired child in an attempt to calm him, but nothing took – the child’s wailing continued.

With a rising impatience for Canthuil’s temper, Elfaer tried to distract him with the bread again. Canthuil took it and threw it away.

“I would have eaten that,” Elfaer said dryly. Canthuil drooled on Elfaer’s shirt and kept crying. Elfaer picked up his bow and, with a sigh, started to walk home.

Canthuil continued to cry in a variety of intensities as Elfaer carried him home. People sent him pitying looks as he passed, and Elfaer felt more visible than he had his entire life...

He had just made it to the main street when he encountered Tathen.

“Hello,” she said with a smile.

“Hello,” Elfaer replied, struggling with Canthuil, who had chosen that moment to decide that being on the ground was paramount. Tathen laughed softly and came to Elfaer’s rescue, plucking the child from his arms and settling him in her own. Canthuil sniffled a bit and then eventually stopped crying.

Elfaer was gobsmacked. “How did you do that?” he asked in awe.

“Just a bit of love and a lot of luck,” Tathen smirked.

“Well, thank you,” Elfaer said. Canthuil burbled and looked between Tathen and Elfaer and smiled in his little semi-toothless smile.

Elfaer and Tathen then seemed to realize how awkward they still felt around the other. Elfaer hesitated, and then spoke.

“I am sorry,” he suddenly said, attempting to keep his voice level.

“For what?” she asked.

“For fighting. I have felt so angry at him. He was not being fair to you and he was rude to me and I couldn’t take it any longer. I just… exploded.”

Tathen said nothing for a good, long time. She opened her mouth to say something several times and then finally said, “I think I was being unfair. I… didn’t know how you felt.” She blushed and looked away. “You are so frustrating sometimes,” Tathen continued after a moment. Elfaer, who had not been expecting this, was shocked and a little offended.

“What?” he demanded, dumbfounded.

“I never know what you are thinking-” she continued. Elfaer felt a very gut-wrenching sense of familiarity, and was suddenly reminded of several years ago when Virana had said the same thing to him. “But… I think I like that. It’s a mystery and I want to solve it.” Elfaer did not know how to take this statement. But Tathen seemed to understand – or guess – how he felt and shifted Canthuil to her other hip. She took his hand in hers.

Elfaer smiled and felt his heart float a little lighter. He leant in and kissed her cheek lightly. Tathen giggled and started walking, dragging Elfaer along.

Canthuil bubbled happily and let out a little squawk of happiness. Elfaer laughed loudly and said, “You’re very right, little brother. I agree.”

The End.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Welcome to the final author’s note of the story! (And the only one, here on OSA) I always enjoy writing these, just because it is a time for me to reflect on the story a bit and share some of my thoughts about the story that I have just guided you through. I am proud to say that this is the third story I’ve been able to write one of these for! As always, you are allowed to skip to the end and just go ahead and review.

This story was honestly not hard to finish – not in the way that Not Knowing or Upon Earth’s Opening were, anyway. Although I do admit – Chapter 2 was quite frankly a bitch to write and ended up being the very last chapter I wrote! As I mentioned before, I went through at least three drafts before I finally settled on one.

This story was very different from all of the others that I have written, in many ways, one of which was the method. For about three months, I toted around a spiral and stole any moment which I could use to write to get the story down. A good deal of the story ended up being written in the campus coffee shop.

A second and very obvious difference is the style in which I decided I would write this story. I wanted to try out a “dip-in-dip-out” style with this story that ended up being the perfect format for what I wanted to achieve. I find that dipping into the story every once and a while, instead of outlining every single event, was the right way to write this story and it made my job as an author a lot more interesting. It was an excellent exercise and I find that the style has become a particular favorite of mine.

The idea for the story came from someone who reviewed Not Knowing a few years ago. They told me that it would be a great idea for me to write a sequel… Well, who am I to refuse a fan? I wrote the prologue and the first chapter and then promptly forgot about it for two years or so. I discovered them at the end of last summer and decided to give it a whirl and found myself sucked into this character I had created. An elf named Elfaer.

I find myself quite fixated on the character of Elfaer. I find it completely fascinating that a character with such opinions and intelligence can exist with such a quiet demeanor. His opposite appears in the form of Tathen. Elfaer’s journey in this story is more than just his falling in love with Tathen – it is about his growing up and growing out of his shell. I think that he’s a good character, and absolutely my favorite that I have ever created.

Fanya and Legolas got the own chapters because I quite simply couldn’t leave them alone. They provided some much-needed comic relief (and – on occasion – parental support) and, quite frankly, I miss writing about the pair. I finished telling their story three years ago and Fanya was the first character I ever created, so I have a special spot for her in my heart

Now that I’ve shared some of my thoughts, I’d like to thank a few people who deserve a mention.

Many thanks go to the people who read and reviewed this story: Middle Earth Muggle, Nieriel Raina, and Macheil.And even if you did not review (I know you are out there – this story has 1,129 hits… That didn’t just happen without readers!) You all brightened my days more than you can imagine. Elfaer-shaped cookies just for you!

Thanks go to my best and only brother, Duncan, who probably has no idea that he was the inspiration for the character of Elfaer. He’s my confidante, my blood and my brother and I hope that he knows his sister thinks of him often while she’s away in college – even if she only ever calls him when she has a problem with her computer. I love you, Brodre.

And, of course, thanks are always due to Shivvers, my ever diligent beta. She’s not only my beta, but one of my best friends and I count myself extremely fortunate to be one of hers. She’s the only one who I would ever trust with a story and she has proved her worth over and over again with all sixteen chapters she edited for this story – not to mention every other story that she’s looked at for me. You will surely hear more about her in the future… she will not be rid of me!

And you, faithful readers, will likely never be rid of me either. I look forward to writing more in the future and sharing it with you all. I wish you all the very best! Until next time!

-Stefanie
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