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Reviews for "A Simple Cold"

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AuthorReview
Monaleoht
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Reviews: 352
Location: I travel with the wind, as free as an eagle soaring the great firmament above Arda
Mon Jun 21, 2004 6:38 am
Very cute and touching, a well written drabble! Too bad its so short though! Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face Very Happy smiley face
 
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Viv

Joined: 25 Apr 2003
Reviews: 673
Location: Texas
Thu Jun 24, 2004 8:54 pm
"Allowing the coolness of it to cool his feverish face, a thin sheet of sweat covered his forehead" ... Beware of those -ing phrases. Grammatically this sentence says that a sweat-sheet allowed coolness to cool someone's face. Yes, I know it's a minor thing, but opening paragraphs are crucial to luring readers into reading the rest of your story.

This line was great: "‘Or maybe no dinner and I’ll just crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of my life.’" I have so felt like that! Hope you feel better soon!
 
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JadwigaArda
Joined: 07 May 2004
Reviews: 28
Location: West of the Misty Mountains
Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:29 pm
Wonderfully sweet & touching. I liked both versions! I loved also the family togetherness of Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan + Aragorn.
 
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