Reviews for "Little Swan"

Wed Jun 23, 2004 11:50 am

First to reivew? Wow! An amazing story - captivating and exciting! Please, please update Soon smiley face

!!!!!!

Wed Jun 23, 2004 12:16 pm

Yeeeeeeeeks! *bounces* Oh, what an evil place to leave the story! I LOVE this story already, and I've only read, what, two chapters? ^___^;;; Update soon, I beg of you!!

Wed Jun 23, 2004 12:55 pm

Exciting start to your story...keep it up!!! Very Happy smiley face

Wed Jun 23, 2004 7:39 pm

Wow, that was really good! How cruel a death was that? To be eaten alive by a gigantic bird...savages! I really hope that him and his daughter escape the wild men unharmed. Please update soon, I'd really like to read more...soon Very Happy smiley face

.

Keep up the good work...I'll be looking for that update Wink smiley face

Michelle

Thu Jun 24, 2004 7:25 am

A great new chapter - though so sad! PLease, please update Soon smiley face

!!!!!

Thu Jun 24, 2004 2:16 pm

Nuuuuu! *sobs* Poor daddy! Awww, I hope they find eachother again...... Bawl smiley face

More soon, please!

Thu Jun 24, 2004 8:30 pm

First, the execution scene in chapter 1 was excruciating. Just... fantastic description. You didn't overdo it when I would have been tempted to, the pacing was careful and meaningful, and you could almost hear the questioning child's voice through the whole thing. Ahhh, good stuff. Action in chatper 2 was nicely done, too. Only in chapter 3 did things start to unravel a bit, right at the scene where the elves come in. The story has, until this point, focused on Naelie, who I'm guessing is a human girl. For consistency, you might revisit the end of this chapter and cut out those three paragraphs that happened while she was unconscious. She would have no knowledge of those events, and they really interfere with the consistent POV of the story (which was great up to that point, better than most other fanfic). Does she understand what they are saying? If so, you'll probably want to explain how a human girl (rohirric?) speaks Sindarin.

I've marked this story on my Watching list, and I'm looking forward to reading new chapters. If anything I've said here is confusing, or you just want to tell me to shut up and let you write your story in peace, feel free to email or PM me. Smile smiley face

Thanks for letting me read!

Mon Jun 28, 2004 12:48 pm

Wow, this is really good. Can't wait to read more of your work!

Fri Jul 02, 2004 2:32 pm

A great new chapter! I'm so happy you finally updated- I was waiting! lol. Anyway, a cute new chapter. A cute chapter - though so sad that the dad isn't there. I was surprised at Celeborn's reaction - I would have guessed that, being a father himself, he would have never hesitated to accept her! Also - by now, the other Wardens should have found the dad, no? They would also be watching the area, you would think...? Want to explain? Did he die? Anyway, please,please update soon! Very Happy smiley face

Wed Jul 14, 2004 7:48 pm

Very cute in the beginning- so touching the picture! A wonderful idea! But the end was sad- will they ever meet again? Plus, wouldn't elves be more helpful? I mean, clothes and stuff should be arriving, no? lol. Also - it's a little strange that there are no predjudices at all against her as a human, even a tiny adorable one! Please update soon! Very Happy smiley face

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Reviews for "Little Swan"