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rossui
Joined: 17 Apr 2004
Reviews: 10
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Tue Jul 06, 2004 2:52 am
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| I'm already intrigued and hope to read more very soon! |
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Michelleb102
Joined: 18 Mar 2004
Reviews: 269
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Wed Jul 07, 2004 5:44 pm
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That was very interesting. I've enjoyed reading your first few chapters, and I hope that I'll soon be able to read more. 
Keep up the good work and update soon! 
Michelle |
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Moralanqua
Joined: 12 May 2003
Reviews: 167
Location: Scotland
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Sun Jul 11, 2004 7:35 pm
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Before I give you compliments - here is some feedback;
Alexa is as elven a name as 'Talullah'. The same applies to 'Spitfire'. Both of these inclusions ruin the sense of authentic Tolkien fanfic. I was so pleased that you researched the location (Dunharrow) that i was sure you must have put a great deal of effort into this fic - and then you name your OFC 'Alexa' and overly describe her wardrobe and she starts jarring as a Mary Sue...
However, these are small things and can be changed if you want this to be taken seriously. Overall, you have a talent for writing as can be seen with the excellent pace, atmosphere and descriptions. The grammar and tense use are very good and show you have strived to make this a great fiction. I congratulate you on that aspect.
Please do consider changing the names and remember to watch out for modern expression that dont fit in Tolkienverse!!  |
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draegon
Joined: 01 Jul 2004
Reviews: 41
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Sun Jul 18, 2004 9:34 pm
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| I just started reading this....and thought that Chapter 8 was the perfect place to review. It's easy to see that Haldir already cares a great deal for Alexa....and that Alexa is starting to trust him. As for Rivendell...I'm anxious to see whose family she comes from |
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Michelleb102
Joined: 18 Mar 2004
Reviews: 269
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Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:39 pm
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Whew, I had started to think that someone else was her father. So, she's going to try and kill HIM, heh? Amazing. I can't wait to find out what's going to happen...will she be successful, or will someone foil her attempt? Eeeee, I can't wait!
Great chapter, update soon. |
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Michelleb102
Joined: 18 Mar 2004
Reviews: 269
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Wed Jul 28, 2004 4:24 pm
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Father and daughter, fighting...how sad. I hope Elrond discloses all that he knows about this "dark-haired elf." Hmm, when Glorifindel gets his hands on him...
Can't wait for the new chapter, update soon |
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draegon
Joined: 01 Jul 2004
Reviews: 41
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Sun Aug 01, 2004 7:48 pm
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| I'm so glad to see everything is working out. Don't sweat about the names, it's your fic. That's what an OFC is ..original. Once she talks with Glorfindel, I wonder what she's going to do....stay in Rivendell, or go back to Haldir in Lorien. |
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cassandra
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Reviews: 17
Location: Hawaii
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Tue Aug 03, 2004 4:04 pm
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| Great Fic. Loving it. I'll be watching for more... |
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cassandra
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Reviews: 17
Location: Hawaii
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Sun Aug 08, 2004 7:51 pm
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Love the new Chapter. Dying to see what she'll do!  |
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cassandra
Joined: 03 Aug 2004
Reviews: 17
Location: Hawaii
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Tue Aug 17, 2004 9:41 pm
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| I love that she is going back but am surprised that she is going so soon. But not sorry she is! Keep 'em coming... |
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