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Reviews for "Tell This Mortal"

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AuthorReview
Moralanqua

Joined: 12 May 2003
Reviews: 167
Location: Scotland
Mon Jul 05, 2004 8:56 pm
I am intrugued, despite the niggles iI have in reading this piece.

The quality of your research is very evident and as a reader, iI really appreciate your efforts to make this story as plausible and authentic as possible. Very Happy smiley face

My main 'niggle' is that the tense feels like it wavers in chapter 2 (mainly). It seems as though you are going for present tense, 1st person narrative but then you jump to passive voice and then to past tense. It made me stumble as I read.

Your OFC seems to be well on her way to being developed and realistic. I really am looking forward to seeing where you will take this tale!


ps, any chance of some legomance? Wink smiley face
 
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shadowslayer
Joined: 27 Nov 2004
Reviews: 24
Location: 
Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:57 pm
This story is very intresting I wonder what will happen. Nice job I think that I might know where this goes. I shall wait and see for myself if I am correct. Smile smiley face
 
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felis1215

Joined: 14 Oct 2004
Reviews: 119
Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Wed Jan 03, 2007 4:40 pm
Keep updating! Please!!
 
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CandissD

Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Reviews: 34
Location: Alabama
Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:07 pm
Ditto that last review! Smile smiley face
 
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