Reviews for "The Fair-Haired Ones"

Thu Jul 08, 2004 10:05 pm

Ooh, interesting Very Happy smiley face

Tue Jul 13, 2004 2:42 pm

I must admit, this is very cute so far and I look forward to more. You won't let Veronica go about in her usual garb, will you? The hobbits would look on that as quite scandalous! LOL

Tue Jul 13, 2004 4:21 pm

Well, right now she probably feels more comfortable in her original outfit, but when she goes to see the king, I'm sure she'll change clothes LOL.

Wed Jul 14, 2004 4:49 am

I'm glad you made her dress for the location. *g* I'm sure that jungle maiden feels VERY stupid right about now, twising her ankle without even running away from something that's trying to kill her. LOL

So, she's in the woods and falls backwards...into whose arms? Wondering if it's Legolas and hoping so. *vbg*

Thu Jul 15, 2004 7:41 am

Um, I wouldn't describe Aragorn's love for Arwen as "mild" at all. *shaking my head* Sweety, do you have a beta who could help you with misuse of words like that? *curious*

I'm also puzzled as to how Legolas knew Veronica's name. You said yourself she's only been in the land for two days, so how could he have heard of her already? There aren't that many travelers coming out of the Shire at this point, are there? *confused*

You might should have shown some reaction on Veronica's part at reading that Legolas was in the book and she'd just met him, don't you think? I'm surprised you didn't.

Anyway, this is still cute and you will only get better if you continue to write, like most people, so do please write more? Smile smiley face

Thu Jul 15, 2004 12:28 pm

Uh, it doesn't say "mildly," it says madly in love. I will edit Chapter 4 soon, cuz frankly, I don't like everything I wrote for it.

Sun Jul 18, 2004 9:48 am

*shaking my head* It did? I must have been very tired when I read that, because I saw mildly. lol

There are still quite a few misused words though. Don't you have a beta? I'm sure if you go to the forums and ask, someone will volunteer. It will help your story flow better, so I really do recommend it.

Now I'm the LAST person to tell someone that have to adhere strictly to Tolkien canon, (crossover writer myself) but I do believe it takes a good deal longer to get from the Shire to Minas Tirith than a few short days. Also, if Sam had traveled all that way, he wouldn't leave at the gates, but go on inside and see his old friend Strider aka Aragorn, don't you think?

Anyway, you act as if you're in an all fired hurry to get through this story and are going so fast with it, why? Slow down a tad and take a little more time, that will make it better, honest it will. You have a very interesting premise and this could be really great, don't be in such a rush. Okay?

Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:33 pm

Yeah, the story is good but I don't know about the part with Aragorn, I'm only at chapter 3. It's a good one and I really like the pursue with raptors... yes, I'm a velociraptor's fan. lol Keep on reading but don't be so eager to get through it. I mean that you can have more actions and spend more time on writting.

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Reviews for "The Fair-Haired Ones"