Reviews for "White Gull From The Sea"

Mon Jul 26, 2004 11:40 pm

There is certainly nothing wrong with writing a short story, but where you ended left me hanging. It would be helpful to learn something about what happens after Legolas hears the call of the sea. Does he decide to listen to the call or does he remain in Arda?

Wed Aug 18, 2004 4:28 pm

Definitely a creepy interaction between Legolas and the sea. The actions of Gimli and Aragorn seemed slightly off, though. They obviously knew he was walking to the cliff, didn't bother to stop him, and then looked at him at the bottom and remarked that they hadn't stopped him. Then they assumed that he must be either dead or paralyzed. It was just ... strange. These are heroes, not idle spectators: if they thought one of their own was in danger, I'd think they'd do everything humanly (or dwarvenly) possible to save their friend.

The bit at the end was also abrupt: it really isn't that long a story. Gimli could relate it all back to Legolas in a few sentences. And is Legolas really in the physical condition to ride? If he was really hurt that badly, he'd need at least a few hours to recover, even if elves do heal fast.

Thu May 04, 2006 2:49 pm

A good attempt, but I feel that it was too bereft of details and action. A good story needs paragraphs that each tell a part of the story. This was just too empty. Your characterizations and the narration were both stiff. In all honesty, I could never buy the storyline to begin with. Possibly re-writing would help. It just lacks something. It is a good effort, though. Thank you for sharing.

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Reviews for "White Gull From The Sea"