Reviews for "The Journey Home"

Mon Aug 23, 2004 4:44 pm

Your main character, Elaviel, is delightful. She comes across as kind of nerdy and nervous, but in the cutest possible way. As a nerdy and nervous girl myself, I identified with her easily. Smile smiley face

The things this story lacks so far are the kinds of things that I usually describe as polish. For instance, "less breaks" should be "fewer breaks" and "It was her who would have needed the comforting words" should start "It was she" ... That sort of thing. A quick beta wouldn't even fix these things; you'd need a more intense beta. Besides, nothing in this fic diminishes its entertainment value. I read the first chapter and enjoyed it a lot; the subject matter is dramatic and intense, and you're handling it well so far. That "polish" junk is just the insignificant something that keeps the writing from being superb.

Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:13 pm

Wow . . . that first paragraph was sheer poetry! This is an awesome story so far! And really exciting, I was on the edge of my seat through the entire chapter! I can't wait for the next one!!! Surprised smiley face

Wed Oct 27, 2004 6:49 pm

This story is coming along really well! I'm enjoying how you are writing the characters and the imagery with words is wonderful. I can see everything happening clearly in my mind. Mae carnen!

Thu Oct 28, 2004 1:06 pm

Another great chapter! I can't wait for the next!!!

Ciao!

Sun Dec 05, 2004 8:44 pm

Another well written chapter! I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT!!!! So exciting!

Ciao!

Thu Mar 10, 2005 12:26 pm

Can't wait to see what's in store in the next chapter. Smile smiley face

- DEC

Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:54 am

Gorgeous chapter! The development of Elaviel's character is very well done. I love her! She's so cool! And I like how you are gradually introducing the sexual tension instead of leaping right into it and having them more aquainted with each other first so they're like becoming best friends! Yay! The wolf scene had me on the edge of my seat!!! Woohoo!

Very Happy smiley face

Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:09 am

This story is well written and has a really good plot. You are also making the relationship more real with it's ups and downs. Can't wait to read the next chapter. Smile smiley face

Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:34 pm

wow!! this is simply a masterpiece! your imagry is certainly some of the best i have encountered! Smile smiley face

i'm anxious for the rest of the story! i was wondering, are you going to keep it rater 'r'? or is there going to be more passion envovled? Twisted Evil smiley face

i'm sure it would be interesting how you would go about that!

keep up the great work!!

Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:08 pm

How delightful to find that you've added another chapter....and how nasty of you to leave us hanging, the two headed off in opposite directions. Keep up the good work.

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Reviews for "The Journey Home"