Reviews for "Repentance"

Mon Aug 30, 2004 10:55 pm

I really like the repeated descriptions of memories in the opening paragraph, especially the phrase "lilies and lavender." The sound of the words and the images they bring up is effective.

I like Boromir's moment of reflection, but personally, I think Faramir would be more sympathetic than that. He sounds impatient here, like he doesn't really understand what Boromir's feeling--"we have gone through this before," "enough is enough," "come now to sense." That doesn't strike me as the same guy who could give the dead Haradrim speech in the movie.

The ending sounds just a little abrupt to me too, although I like the ideas in it. Overall, I think this is a very promising piece with an interesting premise, which could just use a little polishing.

--Rose

Sat Sep 04, 2004 2:45 pm

A nice idea, Saborice; the last goodbye of Faramir and Boromir has been done many times but I think you got a good new perspective on it, Boromir contemplating his mortality and loss of innocense.

Two tidbits niggled at me as I read it; you could think about tweaking them a bit, if you wanted,
- why are innocense and purity and inconsistent combination?
- 'there for me' is a really modern expression; perhaps you could find one a tad more appopropriate?

Fri Sep 17, 2004 10:10 pm

Unless you have changed this, I found none of the phrases mentioned above. I, however, did not get the idea that Faramir was being impatient. To me, he sounded like someone who sees his brother hurting, and cannot ease the pain. I found him very sympathetic. As for abrupt, how long can you say goodbye. And it is not like they knew Boromir was to die. It was just another journey. All in all, I liked it very much, as I did some of your other work. Give us some more. Thank you.

Rous

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Reviews for "Repentance"