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Moralanqua
Joined: 12 May 2003
Reviews: 167
Location: Scotland
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Sat Aug 28, 2004 3:35 pm
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The names you used are NOT authentic Tolkien and really put me off. What a waste! However, the basic story premise was interesting and well thought out. I liked that you kept 'Jane' (WTF?) as appropriate and believable as a medieval or Tolkienesque Lady should be. Thats a rare thing in these OFC fics and you did it well.
Here is some concrit -
Change to names to proper Tolkien!
Add a little more description
Proof read as the first few paras are choppy and confusing.
Overall, not bad at all and if you expand on this, you'll have a really GREAT fic! |
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Tesseleve
Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Reviews: 73
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Mon Aug 30, 2004 9:16 pm
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| hi , like your story it is pretty good,it good use a litte more ifo on the people i have to agree, but i like the names and how you keep true on how the ladys behaved back then. |
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DarkElfChilde
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Reviews: 29
Location: I'm located somewhere
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Wed Sep 01, 2004 10:32 am
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It's okay so far, but it's only the first chapter!  I will read more, if you post more. Thanks
Your friendly elf,
DarkElfChilde |
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Rede
Joined: 02 Jun 2004
Reviews: 46
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Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:27 pm
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Ya know what? DON'T change the names! ESPECIALLY not now that you have had moe than one chapter. Wonderful imagination in the stories, I'm really enjoying it! The only thing I think you could do it to update more frequently!
You have a unnique way of telling a story, and I appreciate that. Others do too, but most are just too lazy to review  P |
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Radbooks
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Reviews: 66
Location: Washington State
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Mon Sep 13, 2004 9:46 pm
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Very enjoyable story! Fun and interesting. I wouldn't change the names now either - I didn't think anything was wrong with them in the first place. But if you need new ones for some reason. Try a baby names book - usually they tell the origins of the name. Like old English or whatever. They have them at most libraries or go to google and type in baby names - though those sites don't always tell the origins but you could try!  |
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Michelleb102
Joined: 18 Mar 2004
Reviews: 269
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Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:42 am
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Hi,
I've enjoyed the first two chapters, and I hope that I'll be able to read more soon. Keep up the good work, update soon 
Michelle... |
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Bay
Joined: 24 Sep 2004
Reviews: 15
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Fri Sep 24, 2004 6:34 pm
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This is good. Needs a little editing, but don't worry about that until you get more of the story done. Post more, I want to read!
Bay |
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