Reviews for "A Woman of the Town"

Sun Oct 17, 2004 2:05 am

So far, I have enjoyed this! Great intro chapter with a nice portrayal of how you see a Tolkienesque culture of men at that time. My only worry is that you have this in the Crossover category - crossover with what? Please dont say Star Trek! Wink smiley face

Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:41 am

I do NOT like this so called LORD Baldor nor the STUPID Constable Stapa! Please do let Haldir use his well known hautiness to force justice to be done in this case? If the infernal man won't listen to reason then I hope Haldir will at least be allowed to take care of her daughter for her.

Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:53 pm

I really liked your first chapter to this story and hope you update it soon! Cool smiley face

Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:21 pm

Well, I certainly hope the stupid Mayor figures out just why that man let her go from his household and when it turns out to not be for a good reason (I'm betting he made advances that were rebuffed and since she was a widow he got offended at being refused or some such thing) maybe he'll fire the stupid putz! *irked with stupid characters who need to be taught a lesson* Hey, can Haldir teach him one? Or that stupid little lordling? I'd LOVE to see that one get his nose broken at the very least for what he did to her.

You're not gonna let her die, are you? If she does, will Haldir be able to take care of the little girl?

The part where the woman tells of the people who are caring for her daughter needing more money... why does that sound familiar to me? I must have read something similar in a book somewhere, I know it wasn't a fanfic, but can't think what book to save my life. In any case, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if THAT was a lie on the part of the people who are looking after the child. If it is, I hope they get punished, go to jail or something!

More please?

Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:03 pm

This is really good. You have some plot holes emerging though, can you perhaps fill them?

1. "Of their arrogance and contempt for the race of Man" - re the elves, I find this hard to digest. Where in Tolkiens works does he ever say Men thought this way? The closest I could find was a reference to the Second Born being sickly.

2. Haldirs intervention with this woman is becoming a bit unbelievable. You really dont explain why he is becoming involved with her. His occupation was a warden of the marches, why is he even in the town?

3. Please watch how you name your characters. Maegden is a spit away from Maeglin and so is Diore to Dior. Both male names.

These are small things only. So far, your characterisation is good and the pace is smooth. I look forward to more! Very Happy smiley face

Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:20 pm

Le Miserables

You DO realize how close you're treading to that book, don't you? I finally remembered the name of the story, as you can see. I like this, but you may want to vary your version a bit more, okay?

Oh and I thought of those names as entirely female, Maeglin being very close to Meghan and all that. Not a problem there and since you're the author you get to say and do what you like. Smile smiley face

Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:01 pm

"Oh and I thought of those names as entirely female, Maeglin being very close to Meghan and all that. Not a problem there and since you're the author you get to say and do what you like. "

Confused smiley face

Eru help the fandom when you get feedback like that.

3rd chapter was a big improvement and the mystery is now mounting to a wonderfully suspensful level. Im already wondering where you are going with this. I especialy like the characterisation of the Mayor. Very Happy smiley face

Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:07 pm

I hope that you are going to continue with this story I am enjoying it very much.

Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:30 am

First thought that struck me as I was reading this: Les Miserables. Even though I haven't read the book, I know the musical pretty much by heart (and there's a poster of it by my computer) and this story is very close to it. I read some of the lines and as soon as I saw the first few words my mind automatically set them to the music. I suggest that while the storyline shouldn't be altered (unless that's what you've been planning), you ought to alter the lines so that their source is not as obvious. And you might want to explain a little more about Haldir's becoming involved and why he was there in the first place.

Still, you have pretty good characterization and your words flow very well. Please don't think I'm trying to discourage you from finishing this story; contunue your work!

Mon Jan 03, 2005 12:20 am

Haldir is one of my favorite characters in LoTR, and I adore Les Miserables. I can't wait to read the next part of the story. Good going and keep it up.

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Reviews for "A Woman of the Town"