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inglor
Joined: 26 Apr 2004
Reviews: 201
Location: Not here, not there, not anywhere
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Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:08 am
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This was an excellent small episode. You captured the terror well, i liked how the OFC had no lines but was fully charcterized with your descriptions.
Inglor |
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Ingole
Joined: 11 Apr 2004
Reviews: 36
Location: Washington State, USA
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Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:20 pm
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There's that wonderful epic cadence again...like a tale being sung by a minstrel rather than a than a words-only piece. Final note sung chin up for victory, eyes down for sorrow.
Heartbreaking. Beautiful.
Ingole |
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Rous
Joined: 20 Mar 2004
Reviews: 503
Location: Trying to stay below the radar
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Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:42 am
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Great job. I hope you will find time from your other stories to branch out and fill in a few other gaps. This is definately up to the standard of your other efforts. Thank you for sharing.  |
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Thuriniel
Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Reviews: 94
Location: Watching the purple sky fly over me ...
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Mon Dec 06, 2004 3:56 pm
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| I felt like I was reading a lyrical piece rather than prose. The last moments are terrifying; the mixture of the horror of the moment combined with the recollection of the happy times gone by make it even more poignant. Well done. |
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Yavanie
Joined: 02 Jun 2004
Reviews: 122
Location: Texas
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Mon Dec 06, 2004 9:13 pm
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"I exit the door ahead of her. Something I have never done before."
such a simple line that sums up the perspective of his relationship to her. I admit I read this story a few days ago (bad me just now reviewing), but that line has stayed with me among the images cast by your writing. Bravo! am going now to check out your other stories! |
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marcia
Joined: 10 Jun 2004
Reviews: 53
Location: California
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Tue Dec 07, 2004 2:58 am
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I felt from the beginning that I was reading a poem, very lyrical, very vivid images. That's one of the strengths of your writing, the images. And, the polished metaphors, wonderful dialogue, anyone who hasn't read your other stories as well as this poem should go check them out, they're a joy. You've got real ability to create believable worlds for your readers to move into! Thanks, indeed, for sharing this work and all your work with us.
Marcia |
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ghettoelleth
Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Reviews: 378
Location:
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Tue Dec 14, 2004 3:32 pm
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| I read this a few days ago than reread it when I got it via e-mail from another source. I've cried three times over this now, as I just couldn't help but reread again. I absolutely love the shattering metaphor. It gives me the chills everytime. It invokes the desperation and fear of the moment on his part , and she is so lovely in the way that she is overwhelmed by all that is happening around her. |
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Anieni
Joined: 27 Jan 2004
Reviews: 48
Location: Somewhere between fantasy and reality
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Mon May 16, 2005 3:37 pm
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I am in awe at the strength and beauty of this piece!
I will go seek more of your writing, if this is in any way indicative of the rest I am sure it will be worth well reading. |
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Havetoist
Joined: 14 Apr 2004
Reviews: 29
Location:
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Tue May 17, 2005 3:50 pm
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Anieni said
> I am in awe at the strength and beauty of this piece!
>
> I will go seek more of your writing, if this is in any way indicative of the rest I am sure it will be worth well reading.
>
>
Ohhh. I don't know about that This was a huge departure for me. But thank you for thinking I may be able to sustain this style for more than 8 pages. |
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marcia
Joined: 10 Jun 2004
Reviews: 53
Location: California
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Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:08 pm
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sophie
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