Reviews for "And in the Darkness Bind Them: Vol I"

Thu Dec 30, 2004 12:51 am

Wonderful, atmospheric, spooky---hey, what's not to like??? Very Happy smiley face

Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:50 pm

After reading Ch. 9 all I can say is wow. I'm so glad that you've taken the time to explain who the Witch-king is and offer some reasons as to why he is that person. It would be so easy to say he's just inherently evil (which he may be), but the added effect of the strained relationship with his mother makes him so REAL. I'm really enjoying the progession of the story. I know you're a little worried about pace, but I think a slower pace works very, VERY well for this particular story. I wanted you to know that I read every chapter as you update, even if I don't review all the time. I can't wait to read more.

Sat Jan 15, 2005 3:52 pm

VanatheEverYoung said
> After reading Ch. 9 all I can say is wow. I'm so glad that you've taken the time to explain who the Witch-king is and offer some reasons as to why he is that person. It would be so easy to say he's just inherently evil (which he may be), but the added effect of the strained relationship with his mother makes him so REAL. I'm really enjoying the progession of the story. I know you're a little worried about pace, but I think a slower pace works very, VERY well for this particular story. I wanted you to know that I read every chapter as you update, even if I don't review all the time. I can't wait to read more.

Thank you, particularly for the comments about pace, as I am extremely concerned about this story at the moment. Although I'm enjoying writing it, I'm finding it very hard to judge whether the end product is actually any good, or if I'm boring the life out of people. So any concrit about this story is greatly appreciated.

Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:30 am

“Does your father know you are here?”

Don't answer him, no no no, don't tell him! Dammit! Ya shouldn't have told him. Shocked smiley face

Space, this really is your very finest hour. I once again forgot to push the little alert me thingy so I got to read more chapters this time but dang girl, this is so gooood. Please DO NOT stop. You can write about the Ithilien In n'Out and this one, really you can, just drop out of school or something. I'm diggin' the hell out of this. You know how I like em all dark and gothy!

Jesxxx

Sun Jan 23, 2005 4:56 pm

Oooh! The suspense! Up until this point, I've had a general idea of what would come in the next few chapters. I'm on the edge of my seat now. Very Happy smiley face

Killing off Herilmar and that "bargain" between the creature and Marillion were great! I love cliffhangers (you know that). Eagerly awaiting more chapters. Very Happy smiley face

Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:56 pm

Okay, just finished the childhood chapter, and I feel, rather strongly, like slapping Ilmarnië around some. What a witch! Maybe the kiddo is a psychopath because his mama was such a ho. No, it's not like I think Marillion is cuddly or anything (killing birdies!), but he might have had a chance! You mentioned that when he was a toddler he was fine, before he got a whiff of Mama's bullsh... anyway. Compelling characters. Smile smiley face

Am reading on...

Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:11 pm

"Its awkward angles and haphazard walls seemed to trick the eye into seeing movement around its eaves and balustrades." ... Ooooh. Kind of reminds me of Hogwarts. Just a really evil Hogwarts. In fact this whole story has very much a "Bad-Harry" feel to it. I like!

Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:11 pm

Some of your word choices are positively poetic: "A lichen-skinned brook popped and squelched beneath a white stone bridge" indeed. You don't need a whole lot of description when each nugget is as evocative as that (from Chapter Cool smiley face

.

Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:54 pm

A few comments.

Doesn't anyone notice his odd coloring? I would think that the gossip would be all over the place about the lord's "Ghost Childe" (a nice medieval description). I can't believe that albinos would be so common that no one at the Inn, or the merchant trader, or anyone else who saw him wouldn't have a good idea who this was.

I wish there was a clearer description of the stick thing. It souinds like a nice, creepy critter; but all I seem to visualize is Jack Skellington naked. Shocked smiley face

I would love to beat the beejeezus out of his mother & aunt. His dad is too weak & ineffectual to ever amount to much; that's beautifully rendered, BTW. And he's torn between his frigid bitch of a wife & his innocent son.

What happens to Harilmor's son? The poor kid is definitely going to need some counselling.

Laughing smiley face

Sun Jan 30, 2005 4:41 pm

KhazarKhum said
> A few comments.
>
> Doesn't anyone notice his odd coloring? I would think that the gossip would be all over the place about the lord's "Ghost Childe" (a nice medieval description). I can't believe that albinos would be so common that no one at the Inn, or the merchant trader, or anyone else who saw him wouldn't have a good idea who this was.

That's more an issue in the next part, once he starts mingling with people of his own 'class' for want of a better word, who're more likely to come out and actually comment on it in front of him. I'm debating whether to rewrite the inn scene, however, as I was trying, when I wrote that, to hint that the innkeeper and all knew who he was, but were more interesting in seeing what was going on, rather than openly talking about it while he was there or letting on that he was the subject of gossip. Maybe that was clearer to me, because I know it's there. I'm certainly going to look over that section again and might do a bit of tweaking.

> >
> I wish there was a clearer description of the stick thing. It souinds like a nice, creepy critter; but all I seem to visualize is Jack Skellington naked. Shocked smiley face

I liked the vaguer sense of the creature and that was deliberate, but I appreciate the comment. I was just trying to be deliberately a bit vague because I didn't want it to turn into a 'cartoon monster' and also since, in my research, anything to do with these darker areas tends to be a bit fuzzier and indistinct. That mightn't have been as effective as I wanted, but I think I will stay with what I have for the moment. I am thinking about this still though so I might decide to change my mind and tweak a little later. Only thing is now I have the same mental image Shocked smiley face

Thanks

Thanks everyone who's reviewed. I know I have been whining about reviews for this, so all feedback and comments are much appreciated, seriously. I've got a few good ideas for the next part from this, and also I might alter a few little things in what I have so far. Still thinking about it. There won't be any changes to the storyline, however. If I do change it, it will be a case of inserting a few extra sentences and bits of description, so it shouldn't affect the story from now on or make it confusing.

Once again, many thanks all

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Reviews for "And in the Darkness Bind Them: Vol I"