Reviews for "Part Two - The Taking of Vanelossë"

Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:09 am

Ah. You finally put this up. Smile smiley face

I honestly hope you continue adding more chapters to this...

since...I would like to know what happens next. Twisted Evil smiley face

And, leaving DEC in a pondering state is bad. UPDATE!

- DEC

Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:36 pm

I know I left a slightly critical review of your other story, and I'm glad you didn't take offence or think I was being mean. This story, on the other hand, has great potential and I think you've made your OFC a lot more rounded in this story (IMO). I will admit that, as the 'wild child' I did find her a bit annoying Laughing smiley face

but actually I can see how you've altered her through your story arc and I'm interested now to see what happens to her. I can see now why (in a literary way) you had her the way she was. I think you have a lot of potential, building on the character you established first of all, who really had no proper worries or cares, and letting us see her cope with what's happening. So far you seem to be doing that (in particular, I thought the line about her never having been touched violently before was very effective, since that did, for me, put across the shock of that attack.) I also liked the fact that you were not overly graphic with that particular scene. I get squeamish Wink smiley face

So, I am interested to see where you go with this. Cool smiley face

Oh, edited this because I forgot to mention; also I much prefer the style of writing you use in this story. It's not as 'modern' feeling IMO as the other, and actually for me that makes it easier to read.

Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:54 pm

Chapter 1 is bright, blindingly sweet, like a fairy tale: you just can't help but grin at the adorable family life of Lego and Vanelosse. Chapter 2, however, descends unexpectedly; I was completely taken off guard and horrified. I think that's a mark of good storytelling. Smile smiley face

I was about to mention the fact that, in Tolkien's world the emergence of hte One Ring and the beginning of the quest to destroy it were super secret -- not even the family back in Mirkwood would have been told everything. Also, I could be very wrong, but I don't think it took the Fellowship 9 months to complete their quest. Weren't they all but done in something like April, after leaving Rivendell at midwinter? (All the info is in the appendixes, but I'm too lazy to look it up right now.) However, as this story is AU, I'll take a chill pill. It might help folks like me who stress about these things if you listed the deviations from bookverse/movieverse in a note at the end or something. Up to you, of course, and no pressure. I'm just persnickity like that. Wink smiley face

Sun Jan 09, 2005 11:58 am

Just read chapters 3 and 4. Nicely paced and the violence didn't bother me particularly as I thought you didn't go too far with it. Just enough to see the pressure Vanelosse was under and to empathise with her situation. Looking forward to reading more, and hopefully seeing Legolas get a bit of revenge Twisted Evil smiley face

Sun Jan 09, 2005 1:37 pm

Dang girl, Orophin's smokin'! He's like cool, super self sacrificing hero guy. Who knew? You are improving with every chapter my grasshopper, I'm very proud of you and now going to hurry and "beta" chapter five. Keep em coming honey. Shocked smiley face

Sun Jan 09, 2005 6:06 pm

omg i love it!!!! keep going!!!

Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:44 am

It was an enjoyable read ... there's something about "darker" fics where everything is not peachy that I find appealing. You were able to present violence without it being distasteful nor overdone, which, I think, it's quite a feat.

The violation of Valenosse by Orophin was probably the most poignant moment so far. It shows the cruelty of the raptors and it broke my heart to see Orophin be put in that situation. The way you wrote it made me really feel for him, even more than I felt for Valenosse. As a woman, my instinct would've been to sympathize with Val, but instead I found myself living this situation from Orophin's perspective. The way the men were laughing and making fun of him was devastating and it made me teary-eyed.

As for Legolas ... I think I would've liked to see more reaction out of him, and maybe some more "delving" into his feelings. His wife has been brutalized and raped ... I think that alone warrants a lot of conflicting emotions, anger, and a deep desire of making the raptors pay. But then this is not finished ... and we don't know what will happen next chapter Wink smiley face

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Just for the record ... I'm reading this series backwards Very Happy smiley face

!

Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:38 am

I agree with Thuri, I know I am imagining what I would do in his place, like genocide. This fic has gotten under my skin, I hope you are happy.

Inglor

Thu Jan 27, 2005 3:45 pm

I am honored that some of the most respected people on this site actually read and reviewed this!! This story has been hard because it is so many emotions in the many characters. As you have all mentioned, Legolas' thoughts, feelings, and reactions are coming up. His first priority in the last two chapters was finding her and helping her, not avenging her. I have been struggling with these two chapters forever but I hope to have seven and eight (of ten) posted soon (once I borrow a beta - my last one (GE)is swamped and my other fabulous beta is working on my other story). Hopefully, you will all feel that Legolas' reactions and feelings are appropriate to what is going on. Plus, Orophin has not gone away yet so his emotions as well as the rest involved are being addressed.

Sun Feb 06, 2005 9:02 pm

Reading this is like going multiple rounds with a prizefighter. I'm exhausted, depleted, horrified. And all of those reactions are, because of the subject matter of the story, good. Fight back, little one. And kick ass, Legolas.

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Reviews for "Part Two - The Taking of Vanelossë"