Reviews for "Eomer's ward"

Thu Feb 10, 2005 2:17 pm

This is a good backbone for a story, but came across almost as a very detailed outline. Just needs some punctuation oversight and more texture - characterization, feelings, descriptions. We need to know what matters to your characters, where they are and how that tells the story.

Sun Feb 13, 2005 10:37 am

Wow! Now that's a mighty thrashing! Laughing smiley face

This story has a lot of potential, since you've set up a situation with some interesting conflicts and several choices before the protagonist. There are a few spots that need some attention, and I think your introduction needs a bit of work to put forward the facts you've given in a more narrative way.
I can't wait to see where you will go with this Very Happy smiley face

Fri Apr 29, 2005 7:37 am

I'm very pleased to see you continue this, and I'm terribly excited to see what happens next!

Mon Jul 04, 2005 4:45 pm

Thanks for updating this story, and for showing a more compassionate side to Eomer. I giggled with embarassment for him after the boathouse incident; after 'the talk' Danimir will be going back to Gondor a more knowledgable 14 year old. Although it did slip that he was finding the Golden Hall to feel more like home than life with the Stweard ever had - was that a hint of things to come?!

Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:16 am

'Cannot wait for you to update ...

As I said it, your history is brilliant ... I like it in particular for its originality ...
I just missed the fact that in chapter 5, there weren't more scenes between eomer/danimir !
I really enjoy the way their relation grows, but i understand that you have to show the complicity between eomer and eothain, which is interesting ...

Really great, !!!

Sat Sep 10, 2005 1:00 pm

And now with chapter 6, with get the playful Eomer to contrast with the disciplinarian king who must be obayed. I enjoyed your description of Dan suffering through lessons after the first snowfall. Been there, done that. I could almost hear a timepiece ticking away in the heavy silence (if they had timepieces in ME). LOL!

Eowyn's character was also expanded and we were allowed to see the softer side of the only woman who the king fears.

And Lord Danimir. It had looked as if he were maturing and learning life's lessons the hard way; like a typical boy in our world, it's 2 steps forward and one step back, proven when Dan decided that the pain was worth the fun that he had that day.

Given his previous life in Gondor with Denethor, I'd want to stay in Rohan, too. If he stays, he'll turn into a fine young Horse Lord. Keep up the good work!

Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:49 pm

I've just caught up with the last three chapters and wanted to say how much I've enjoyed this. The Danimir characte lets you explore the characters of Eomer, Eowyn and Gamling in an interesting an unusual way. Hope this isn't really the end...

Eirwen

Sun Nov 13, 2005 3:10 pm

I noticed at the end of this chapter, it said - The End.

I hope not.

At times, Eomer , the Rohirrim period, to me, are too hasty to smack, hit or beat the child. That bothers me. I know Eomer has a great temper that he inherited from his father, but I suppose I like to see his gentle and humorous side more. On the other hand, there is great potential and great deal of resolvable conflict.

And - it's Gamling. Not Gambling.

Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:04 pm

Say it isn't so; say that you were so excited to have copmpleted and posted another chapter that The End was just an impulsive reflex.

This new chapter was a most welcome treat on the heels of the computer troubles that I have had this past week. But my week pales to what Danimir has suffered. I was glad to see Eowyn's temper soften in light of her brother's own but Danimir just doesn't seem to be learning obedience, no matter how sore his behind is. His residual fright in the cave after the evening of fireside stories, along with his earlier ill-fated chase of the boar, reinforces that he is not yet a man and still has much to learn from our favorite Horselord. Surely there is more.

Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:51 am

I like this chapter, especially the last part, i couldn't stop smiling Wink smiley face

But I think eomer is a bit harsh with Danimir sometimes ...
It would be nice to see a scene where the boy is in danger and eomer come to rescue him.
It would show a softer side of eomer's character and that he really cares for him.

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Reviews for "Eomer's ward"