Reviews for "Two Halves"
You must be logged in to leave a review
| Author | Review |
|---|
Ellbee

Joined: 12 May 2003 Reviews: 24
Location:
|
|
Sat Aug 16, 2003 11:33 pm
|
|
|
| What an appropriate title, and a very beautiful piece. -Ell |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Moralanqua

Joined: 12 May 2003 Reviews: 167
Location: Scotland
|
|
Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:02 am
|
|
|
The tense structure is wrong, reads like the start of a script or a note summary in the first para and you also repeat many words such as 'clash'.
However, the ficlet itself was lovely and you kept your canon in canon! Well done! And thank you for not raping Tolkien!  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
HisieLome
Joined: 17 Jan 2004 Reviews: 133
Location:
|
|
Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:54 am
|
|
|
| Quite well done. I loved how neither quit. Good description of fight and nicely kept to cannon. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
colleen
Joined: 15 Jul 2004 Reviews: 4
Location:
|
|
Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:05 pm
|
|
|
One small canon note... Elves are physically stronger than humans, so while the human half of their geneology may give them an extra "fire", it would not make them "stronger" than their fully elven counterparts. Your first paragraph states (paraphrasing here) that they are both broader shouldered and stronger than other elves.
Other than that tiny bit, I thought it was well done. OK. One other thing: maybe you could make the ending stronger... It seems to turn warm and fuzzy a bit too quickly (?) just an opinion |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|