Reviews for "Gathering of the Fellowship"
You must be logged in to leave a review
| Author | Review |
|---|
Tylany
Joined: 07 Aug 2005
Reviews: 14
Location: Stuck in a daydream.
|
|
Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:56 pm
|
|
|
This story is very intriging. It easily attracts the intrest of the reader. I sincerly hope that you update soon. 
-Tylany |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Ilmatar
Joined: 20 May 2004
Reviews: 51
Location:
|
|
Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:16 am
|
|
|
Hello there!
As Tylany above said the story attracts readers easily, and I think it could be very entertaining. However, there are some things that need to be improved.
You should edit the layout. It is hard for the reader to actually read the story if it is not divided into paragraphs. Also, conversations are easier to follow if you insert a break every time the person who speaks changes. Just look up any story here in OSA, and you will find an example for the formatting. I assure you more people will read your story once you make the changes. 
I think you should also get a beta-reader. There are spelling mistakes and sometimes the tenses are a little confusing. There is a beta reading thread in the forum, and I think you will find plenty of people there who can help you. I would do it myself, but since English is not my first language, I do not feel competent.
Other than that the story can become a good one. I think I have never seen a story that actually reunites the fellowship.
Keep writing. I hope you update soon. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
NancyBrooke
Joined: 12 May 2003
Reviews: 558
Location: In a motel 6 by the airport
|
|
Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:38 pm
|
|
|
| I think you might consider recategorizing this an AU story. It's very self-aware, which I found distracting, our heroine lives in a very unusual Rohirric house for all those books, and I can't imagine any magic in ME that could make an adult character remember a time just six years before when they died ... unless the scribe got it wrong or I'm just thick. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Live Journal Feed
