Reviews for "Purge, Avenge, Revenge"

Wed May 05, 2004 6:35 pm

this is great so far! When will a new chapter be up? Very Happy smiley face

Wed Sep 01, 2004 6:03 pm

Reading Chapter 1, I'm surprised by how fluid and easy this is to read. You have a good grasp for word choices and a nice narrative. However, big nasty mistakes like not spelling your canon characters names properly made me stop reading.

Its ELLADAN and Legolas' surname is NOT Greenleaf.

Get someone to check this over for grammar and punctuation as well. Its easier to fix your mistakes now, at 3 chapters, than later on when its at 10.

Sat Sep 04, 2004 2:31 pm

I have to agree with Mora, except that I read through to chapter three. The story has potential but the mistakes are a big detraction. It would help a lot if the formatting was corrected to have spaces between the paragraphs and the grammar/punctuation/spelling mistakes were corrected - Elledan-Elladan, thriwn-thrown. Also if I remember correctly Anorien isn't a river, it's a country. Maybe you were thinking of the Anduin? Here's a good selection of maps if you need them - http://valarguild.org/varda/Tolkien/encyc/maps.htm

The Elvish you're using is Grey Company Elvish, which most people call Grelvish and isn't really Elvish. It's kind of bastardized Elvish with a lot of words that they made up. The ' in the words is usually a give-away for Grelvish because Tolkien's Elvish doesn't use that. Most people getting started in Tolkien don't realize that Grelvish isn't real Elvish, so I thought I'd let you know, just in case. There is a good downloadable Sindarin dictionary called Dragon Flame. Very easy to use. http://www.jrrvf.com/hisweloke/sindar/df20.html

Good luck!

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Reviews for "Purge, Avenge, Revenge"