Reviews for "Ish Chronicles: Sins of a Race"

Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:28 pm

You may want to re-categorize this as AU, not Lord of the Rings. There are some fairly large out-of-character issues in this story so far, and folks who are expecting to read Tolkien's Legolas and Aragorn are in for a substantial surprise. You may also consider having someone beta this story. Scene transitions, possessives, and anachronisms could all use a bit of polish. There is a thread on the Forum of this site where you can ask for a beta. And that's not a horrible thing: most of us use betas. It doesn't mean that we're bad writers. Smile smiley face

Sun Sep 21, 2003 8:09 am

I can't help myself... I have been quite curious to see, how this story continues. Yet, I must say I am a little disappointed and I will tell you why: It may be understandable that Legolas dislikes the race of mortals. He may not show his best of behaviour towards them. BUT: The Legolas you painted is a sadist - period. It doesn't matter whether he likes mortals or not - this Legolas enjoys being cruel and torturing others - regardless of their race. I am sorry to say, but that is not Legolas - not at all. Please don't be discouraged by this review, but I just felt I had to tell you... You may find a way of working on this story and change a few aspects, after all, it has only been the second chapter. I would still like to see what you make of it, eventually. And as mentioned by Viv: A beta would be a great idea! Smile smiley face

Greetings, Chiara

Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:11 am

Hey, for the love of me, don´t leave me hanging!!!!!! UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and by the way, I´m just a reader and a fan, I have no wrtting pretentions and therefore don´t make any comments on techniques. I just like your work so far and want to see more, okay??!!
Keep it coming. Razz smiley face

Mon Nov 17, 2003 1:58 am

muahahaha I WIN!!! i know what wuic means ahahahahahaaaaa i win i win woohoo Shocked smiley face

Mon Nov 17, 2003 1:58 am

oooh yeah it means umm writing under influence of coffeee muahahahahahaaa Shocked smiley face

Mon Nov 17, 2003 1:59 am

ooooh yeah and go to H*** freak as you said NOT to put buuuut yeah hmmm is ok story so far i think i not sure i have to actually read it read it Rolling Eyes smiley face

Thu Dec 18, 2003 7:56 am

Very interesting conspect, please keep writing

Sat Jan 17, 2004 7:52 pm

I'd have to agree with your first two reviewers, you could do with checking your spelling and grammar. There's nothing wrong with a few mistakes, but reading through your story isn't that difficult and suggesting that you do so doesn't mean people have "writing pretensions", it would just show that you care about your story.

Also, you should probably label this "AU", as Aragorn, Thranduil, Legolas, etc. are very much out of character, you portray them very differently to Tolkien's characters and therefore they have become something that merely bears the name of the characters you are trying to write. AU doesn't mean you have changed the timeline - it means significant changes (although, to me, AU is usually in answer to a 'what if?' type storyline).

Just because we don't know how or when Aragorn and Legolas met doesn't mean that Legolas is a sadistic bastard and that Thranduil is a wimpy, indulgent ruler.

I'm sure if you toned the story down and asked for beta help (as most of us do) on this site or elsewhere, it could be good! Smile smiley face

Wed Feb 18, 2004 12:15 pm

Hey just finished reading your story. I personally enjoyed reading it and hope that you would continue writing it no matter what was said

Fri Apr 09, 2004 9:17 am

Have just read through this story for the first time. Whilst I may agree that a little more work is required to correct obvious mistakes, the story and concept is a very interesting one. For all you other Tolkienites out there - just because we see only a compassionate and loyal Legolas, it doesn't follow that he was always this way. We see him at an age when all elements of a bad character have been washed away with the ages of years. So I think the idea of a 'different' Legolas makes an excellent storyline, and not an AU one. Keep it coming!!

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Reviews for "Ish Chronicles: Sins of a Race"