Reviews for "Fëanorian Fates Series ~ Part 1"

Sun Feb 12, 2006 3:33 pm

This is beautiful, Al. It isn't easy to write from the perspective of the omniscient Creator. You've captured the sorrow, the anger and the willingness to rekindle hope. Not easy things to convey in 300 words.

Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:08 pm

I am the first to admit that when I read this poem for the first time I went like "oh my lord" (not that I'm excessively religious). This is truly beautiful. You crawled under the skin (if I may say so) of the One, and came up with such a gem that I can't really find words to convey how much I love it. "Simply in awe", "speechless" and "amazed" aren't good expressions at all. So let me be silent for a moment...

Bow smiley face

Thank you

Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:14 pm

Very nice.

Sun Feb 12, 2006 5:30 pm

Told you before that I love this poem, and I really am not one for poetry at the best of times. I think there's a tendency to go overly florid or pretentious, but you've managed to create a very Tolkienesque atmosphere without doing that, and I admire that immensely. The really lyrical rhythms and quality of this adds to the idea of the song of Arda...just wonderful!
SW

Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:14 am

I'm so sorry I keep forgetting to do this. You know how it is with something you've read and think you've reviewed. That said, this is a stunning look into the first kinslaying and a gut wrenching introduction into the horrors that will follow. At first the cadence gave me a run for my money, I'm just a big ole tard when it comes to this kind of poetry. But the more I read it, I'm on about read 10 now, the more it sinks under my skin and I get comfy with the poetic aspect and down to what's being said. Absolutely lovely, and I can only imagine something like this, limited by word count and then a second time for the sake of rhyme, must have been an absolute bear. You pulled it off stunningly.

Thu Feb 16, 2006 8:46 am

There is something to this lament, something unique that calls out to you, stirs you deeply. Like Ghettoelleth said above, the first read made me shiver, but the times I read it again, small things arose to the surface. It is not only the pacing, the words, but the content, the visual you paint for us. First we observe through Eru's eyes what Aqualonde looks like and what just happened. Slowly, together with the All father, realisation sinks in, the concequences of the music woven:

Ravished hroar, empty now of the fëar that
Gave each their individual voice.

Heinous crimes of savagery, unpardonable,
Would ever the hearts be raised again to rejoice?

But then the soothing of the hurt starts, Eru cares for all his children and he creates the Maiar Tilion, to be their guide in, for his children, uncertain road to travel. The ending is so incredibly beautiful, despite what will happen, it carries some hope for all:

Hearken to me, turn your fëar, and lift up your pain to me,
Lay before me your lament.

Simply beautiful Al! An incredibly well-written lament!

Thu Feb 16, 2006 10:24 pm

Really, really dig the imagery-laden language ("Ravished hroar") and the transition from a sort of spectator's view to the end, which is very personal. How do you write something *so* personal from the point of view of the omnicient, solo god of the universe? It seems impossible, but you've done it. And well. Kudos.

Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:35 pm

You know I love this little masterpiece, it's so good to read it in it's finished form. Marvellous, simply marvellous!

Login

Navigation

RSS Feeds

Reviews for "Fëanorian Fates Series ~ Part 1"