Reviews for "Fatty no longer"

Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:23 am

"I wouldn’t mind getting my fingers into that pie" -- yeap, that would do it for most males! I can definitely see his reaction. Great drabble, NB. Very Happy smiley face

Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:27 am

YES! And one for the Shire! Smile smiley face

))) I like it very much, and it works quite well for this canon-hobbit chick Smile smiley face

Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:53 am

Hi Nancy.

I read this and find the writing is technically polished and that the pace flows well for me.

What I found odd is that he put up with his name being mocked - it seemed to be the 'fingers in pie' comment that got him going, but the focus in the last line is back on his name rather than on Estella's protection and honor. It seems (to me) as if you've ended a different story than you were telling.

I realize you're restricted to 100 words, and I feel that overall you've done well within the context of the challenge, but I'd have liked to see a little tighter focus in the ending as to the reason for the pounding.

Hope this helps.

Becky

Tue Mar 07, 2006 11:11 am

Hobbits are funny little creatures. Very enjoyable.

Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:26 am

GO FREDEGAR!!!! That was fun and lyrical. I liked it very much. -MysteriousWays

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Reviews for "Fatty no longer"