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Reviews for "Only Hope"

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AngmarofCarnDum

Joined: 15 May 2005
Reviews: 24
Location: Carn Dum... where the weather is cold and the women are hot
Wed May 10, 2006 1:22 pm
Poor Arvedui. Hoping for hope where there is no hope. A good drabble. Quite enjoyable.
 
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Rous

Joined: 20 Mar 2004
Reviews: 503
Location: Trying to stay below the radar
Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:33 am
This is a nice drabble. However, there are some spelling and grammar errors.

"...imune against the cold..." should read "...immune to the cold..."

"...they would die here in the middle..." should be "...they would die here, in the middle..."

Typo: "Horses dead and eaten, thy..." you missed the 'e' in they.

And, I think "In the north, in Forodwaith..." would read better as "To the north...".

And, I am not sure about the grammar rules on this, but the line:
"Yes, there they would go and seek help." seems awkward. Perhaps "Yes, they would go there to seek help." would work better.

Overall, this is a very angsty piece. It does draw out the hardships of winter campaigning. You have done well in that regard.
Thank you for sharing.
 
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