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eiranae
Joined: 21 Mar 2006
Reviews: 116
Location: Just to the left of barmy.
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Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:50 pm
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| Excellent work. I'm in awe of how you manage to pour so much anguish into so few words. His inability to react when Eowyn is in danger really struck me. I think that is how I would feel. I love this, Neu. Thanks |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:48 pm |
| Thanks! |
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Sulriel
Joined: 07 Jan 2004
Reviews: 327
Location: Imladris (or maybe Texas ...)
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Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:41 pm
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Neume, you have outdone yourself. I'm not even coherent.
It seems to me that you perfectly captured the timeless, silent chaos of being lost in the battle. And the emotion was so intense, I had to stop reading three times to wipe the tears away so I could see to finish it. This is an extraordinary peice of work. |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:48 pm |
| Wow. Thank you so much. |
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curiouswombat
Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Reviews: 249
Location: An island in the Gulf of Lhún
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Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:19 pm
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| This is wonderful - so powerful. I love the idea of Gamling in a beserker-rage in the battle - it seems so right for one of the Rohirrim. Thank you. |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:53 pm |
Thank you. I like the idea too, though strictly speaking, the Rohirrim aren't exactly Vikings. I can imagine that kind of animal mentality coming over anyone in a battle situation, though. It just seems that the terms we have for the idea come from the old Norse berserkers. (I'm a bit of a language nut in case you couldn't tell.  ) Thanks again for your review. |
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Viv
Joined: 25 Apr 2003
Reviews: 673
Location: Texas
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Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:46 am
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| This is a study in point-of-view (and therefore so excellent for this challenge). The whole thing rang true, showing hoe myopic battle must be in order for good people to endure it and participate. I've always thought that good soldiers must be able to disconnect; otherwise the horror of what they were doing would drive them crazy. I admire people who can do such things, and I sympathize with them as well, because it has to hurt spiritually. This piece was very in line with your Gamling, and I like him so very much. |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:57 pm |
"I've always thought that good soldiers must be able to disconnect; otherwise the horror of what they were doing would drive them crazy. ... I admire ... and I sympathize with them as well, because it has to hurt spiritually."
I've thought the same way as well, hence the piece. It's going to be challenging, I think, to write about the aftermath of the battle as the G/M stuff continues.
"This piece was very in line with your Gamling, and I like him so very much."
 Thanks. I guess he was just ready to sit down with me and talk me through it. |
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RobinKa
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Reviews: 1118
Location: Wherever I may roam
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Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:17 am
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This is breathtaking! The chaos of the battle seems so real that I had a hard time to keep myself from glancing around in the fear that some beast might jump out of the corner. Your choice of PoV is excellent -- this is *your* Gamling I've known for so long, and his "voice" is very intense, and expresses what is going on around him with blood-freezing precision. Oh my! What a story!
Brilliant challenge entry. Thank you, Neu! |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:58 pm |
| Thanks for the encouragement, as always, Binks. It was another of those stories that just wrote itself once I shut up and let it. |
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Ingole
Joined: 11 Apr 2004
Reviews: 36
Location: Washington State, USA
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Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:08 am
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Your choice of words, cadence and flow never fails to delight and surprise. "...stinking pointed blackness...", "...conscious mind had somehow taken a seat at the back of his skull..." Elegant, unique phrasing that feeds the fantasy, preserves the epic flavor of Tolkien and never forces the reader to trip over uncomfortable wording on the way to content. Bravo!
And agree completely with Curiouswombat that a berserker-type battle rage is a perfect fit for the Rohirrim. Very perceptive of her, very ingenious of you. Bravo. Again. |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:59 pm |
"Elegant, unique phrasing that feeds the fantasy, preserves the epic flavor of Tolkien and never forces the reader to trip over uncomfortable wording on the way to content. Bravo!"
Thank you! That's quite a high compliment. |
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lissaselves
Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Reviews: 42
Location: Right here!
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Sun Dec 07, 2008 8:27 am
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Wonderful imagery!
This is how battle should be described - a frenzied fighting without thought. But oh! he would indeed feel his wounds once the madness left him.
I absolutely love it!
(btw, did you know that in my country, we still use the term 'bersærkergang' ? But usually only from a safe distance ...) |
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| Author's replied on Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:03 pm |
Thank you.
"(btw, did you know that in my country, we still use the term 'bersærkergang' ? But usually only from a safe distance ...)"
I didn't, but now I do, and I can totally understand the 'safe distance' part. It seems a good descriptor for some things I've seen in mosh pits and Christmas Shopping sales.  Might I email you sometime with questions about your language and old Anglo-Saxon? I can only gather so much from books. |
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Cuthalion
Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Reviews: 79
Location: Germany
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Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:48 am
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"...his restored king at its end under the double banners of rippling green and wafting white when Théoden’s braids had come loose."
This is stunning. And Gamling going berserk is something can very well imagine. The end made me shiver, for I remember that scene from the SEE, and Éomer's anguished face. Very well done! *applauds* |
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