Reviews for "Through the Mist"

Sun Jan 25, 2004 9:58 am

I liked the last three lines the best, though I would like to point out a few things. I think when you said 'mere' you meant 'mirror.' And also, I don't really see how the line 'happiness' fits in amid descriptions of his pain and sadness. If you are trying to describe his yearning for happiness, or describe happiness in comparison to how he's feeling, you might want to flesh out that line a bit more so the reader will understand what you're trying to say.

~*Holly Took*~

Sun Jan 25, 2004 10:12 am

Very sweet Smile smiley face

Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:27 am

There needs to be more poetry, very nice and creative.

Fri Mar 04, 2005 1:45 am

Very nice indeed. Thank you for sharing. Wink smiley face

- DEC

Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:33 am

It is a nice idea, but it does need work. The "mere" comment; "Haunting and tempting, there was no exempting", what are you trying to say here? "The Elven ship, floated through the mist" broke your rhyming scheme. You could tighten up your rhythm and flow; it seems too uneven. This has great potential, but does need work. I would like to see it again.
Thank you for sharing.

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Reviews for "Through the Mist"