Reviews for "Imloth Melui"
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SilverMoonLady
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Reviews: 251
Location: Breaking in a Brandybuck... *wicked grin*
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Fri Feb 13, 2004 12:22 pm
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Lovely!
It's hard to write in the first person, but this really worked. Always nice to see a minor character get such well-written development, and through such a short piece; I'm impressed
Can't wait to read more! |
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SamwiseTheStrong
Joined: 27 Feb 2004
Reviews: 52
Location: Oregon, USA
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Mon Mar 15, 2004 12:41 am
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| Very nice. Lot of good sence memory there, and that comes from you, luv. Some odd punctuations though. Probably nothing, but you might wanna check on that. |
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Chathollinn
Joined: 10 Apr 2004
Reviews: 2
Location: Baltimore - Washington
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Mon Jul 05, 2004 3:21 pm
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This is really good. I have one criticism before I get to the good stuff, and at that, it is more a philosophical disagreement than anything else. The story is very sweet and traditional. The protagonist does remind the young lad that marriage comes with thorns, but that's about it, darkside-wise. I would have found the story more complex had Ioreth not only been childless but actually liked it that way, and then the two brothers won her over to a different view. But that would be hard to do in a short story, I realize.
Now - you tell a good story. You held my attention to the end. Your charcterization of Ioreth, expressed through her monolog, sounded as natural as can be. You showed her relationships to Gimli and Legolas beautfully in a few words. That is succinct writing - my favorite. The dialogs sounded natural too. Another point, small but important to me, is the original names. You kept them short, distinctive, and pronounceable. Still another - it was a nice touch using 'joint-stiffness' instead of 'arthritis.' It helped keep the setting firmly in place. And the ending wrapped up the threads with the planting of the bush tying into the name. Kind of ghostly, too. Her spirit was there at the gravesite.
I noticed a comment on punctuation, but respectfully, I did not see any mistakes. I saw that you used and , which I took to be HTML coding that didn't work.
All in all, a very nice job. Best regards - Chathol-inn |
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Haleth
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
Reviews: 96
Location: The ruins of Tharbad.
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Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:35 pm
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The characterisation of Ioreth is spot on. The monologue is very natural and completely in character for her.
It's really good to see a fan fiction story discussing different types of love. So much fan fiction revolves around romance that it's occasionally seems that either no other type of love exists or is worthy of mention.
This story reminds us all that writing, like life itself, has much more depth and complexity. |
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