Parody of the Rings: Fellowship of the...Ah who the hell are we kidding?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...Or was it? Anyway, I am Galadrial, and this is the prologe to Parody of the Rings. It started with the forging of the rings of power. Three went to the elves, seven to the dwarves, and nine to mortal men. The ring were said to have the power to govern over our world, but mostly we just like pretty things.
The one thing we, the wise, didn't know is that Souron, the resident bad ass, was up in arms, and out for blood. He forged one ring with the power to dominate over all.
We elves, not wanting to seem cowardly challenged him to a duel. With our "friends" the men, we marched against him and his armies there on the slopes of his big ass fiery mountain. We almost won too, but then Souron decided to come out of his hidy hole and take part in his own war. He killed the king of men. Isildur is outraged. He takes the broken peices of his fathers sword, and slashes Souron's fingers from his hand.
Isildur: I am gonna KILL BILL! I mean SOURON!
The battle is won, but the story is far from over. Isildur, being a stupid man, didn't destoy the ring when he had the chance, and was killed for it.
Thousands of years passed and nobody found the ring. Then some skeevy lookin Hobbit like guy named Smeagol found it. He then turned into an even skeevier creture named Gullom. He had the ring for over five hundred years.
The ring then decided to catch a ride to the Shire with a fat little hobbit guy named Bilbo Baggins, and there it has stayed for many years, waiting for it's next ride. The time may come when a Hobbit may save the world, but as I said, the mirror shows many things and on the rare occasion it is wrong. Or is it...

Next chap is Gandalf arrival, the party, and Frodo begins a quest. TY. Bye for now.