Parody of the Rings: Fellowship of the...Ah who the hell are we kidding?

Pippin awakened and smiled. He kissed the culy head next to him.
Pippin: You were great last night.
Merry: I thhink I hate you.
Pipin: AHHHH!! What happened to that hobbit lass?
Merry: There was none. I didn't enjoy that, Pippin.

Two hours later, Gimpy..I mean Strider is leading the hobbits through the forest.
Sam: Why are we trusting this guy again?
Frodo: Because he looks foul, but speaks fair!
Strider: I heard that!
Frodo: It's a compliment.
Strider: Sure it is.

Ten minutes later, the hobbits have al stopped and are sitting down for a second breakfast.
Strider: Oy, what you think you're doing?
Pippin: Having breakfast.
Strider: We've already had it.
Pippin: What about second breakfast?
Strider: Eating your own weight in food is not a talent.
He walks on.
Pippin: But what about third braekfast, morning tea, brunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper, and midnight snack? He knows about those, right?
Merry: I don't think so, Pip.
Pippin: I'm gonna starve.

Two days later they are sloshing through the deep waters of the Midgewater Marshes.
Pippin: I'm being eaten alive!
Strider: Good! Maybe that'll shut you up!
Sam: That isn't very nice.
Strider: Whatever you say, Spam.
Sam: That's Sam!
Strider: Whatever.

Meanwhile, at Isengard Gandalf is being tortured with Algebra lessons from his old cranky Algebra Professor.
AP: Turn to page nine hundred thirty-three.
Gandalf: WHY!!!!!!!!