Single Handedly

Title: Single Handedly
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Maedhros/OFC
Time: First Age 346 – Fourth Age
Chapter(s): 13/?
Chapter Summary: “My heart is irrevocably yours, Kalin, so long as you wish to keep it.” His declaration caressed her very fëa with the truth she knew filled every word.
Author: Codi Lyn (a.k.a. i_luv_obiwan91)
Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien and his family are the sole owners of his works including the Silmarillion and his Lord of the Rings series. I’m just inspired by his works and thought of different ways for different things to end as another option. It’s his music; I’m just playing it on a ukulele, not a guitar. ಠ_ಠ


Chapter Thirteen – When You Give Your Love Away

The days after that dreadful early morning continued to display Maedhros, though less violent in his disturbance, mentally and physically altered. Most, if not all, of his reserved and withdrawn tendencies had returned to sober his temperament, leaving Mîrluiniel to only watch in sorrow as this reversion took place. Would he come out of this depression, or was this to be her new lover? The thought troubled her more than he could know.
‘Twas nigh upon the summer months when the elves of Himring, and his brothers alike, saw their captain’s decrease in warmth and attentions toward the fair elleth, resulting in heartache on every side. After another laborious meal of seeing his brother eat no more than a morsel of food, Maglor took the eldest aside and persuaded him to take a ride out, for his sake.
Bringing their respective mounts, the second-born guided them south for a while until they met the flowing creek that led to Maedhros’ waterfalls farther down. At length, the time seemed appropriate for speech and Maglor began. “I think it is not that you and Kalin have quarreled, else she would have told me… but what has happened to make you become so indifferent to her? Do you not see how miserable you have both grown to be?”
The flame-haired son dismounted wearily, as everything he seemed to do was filled with of late, and leaned upon a great tree with the weight of all Arda upon his shoulders. “Maglor, my curse cuts deeper than you can imagine. I saw… a vision, of what I know will come to pass… I am too much horrified of it to share the description with anyone for my own grief.”
Maglor dismounted also and followed him to the giant tree. “Maedhros, by keeping silent you are causing us grief. Mainly Kalin’s if you would but look beyond your own hurts.”
The eldest turned brutally upon him. “It is for her sake I am keeping it so! You know not what I conceal.”
“Then tell me.” He countered, and his brother was again sobered by the information he withheld. They were silent a while longer before Maglor chose a different tactic. “Was it about Kalin?”
Maedhros turned to lean his back against the tree and passed a hand over his eyes. “No, not directly. It greatly affects us both, however.” He seemed to regain some little control and stood up. “If I tell her, it would only serve to cause tremendous pain. I will tell no one, only try to prevent it from ever occurring.” Resolute, he communicated his plan and Maglor planted fists at his sides.
“By ‘preventing’ it, you are not going to leave or neglect Kalin, are you?”
“No. Though that is what should be done… I am too far-gone to abandon her and my only source of real life. No, I love her too greatly for that. There must be other ways of preventing my vision’s fruition.”
Thoughtfully, he stood staring with glazed eyes into the woods and was only disturbed in this when his brother’s grasp held his shoulder, a long, penetrating gray gaze meeting his when at last he turned. “I charge you to be careful with your elleth, my brother. She is too precious to be treated with the indifference you’ve dealt her these weeks.”
Maedhros’ eyes fell to the ground in shame. “Being near her only made worse the feeling of failure that already wracks my mind from what I have foreseen.”
“Maedhros…” The younger waited until he looked him in the eye. “What did you see?”
Clearly unbidden, Maglor saw his stoic, hardened captain let loose a tear from one distraught emerald. “If… if such a thing should ever comes to pass… I shall tell you. Only then.” The eldest then took a step toward his brother and took his arm with his only hand in a vice-like grip, soon releasing him to move toward his horse and mount up.
They returned late in the evening to a quiet fort, their two steeds making the only sounds among the dirt and gravel courtyard as the animals were put away and tended to. With a silent parting between he and his brother, Maedhros sought out his solace in Kalin’s direction and found the door to her chambers ajar, a muted glow of firelight escaping from the crack. Passing through it without trouble, he found the elleth draped delicately across the edge of her bed in slumber, the faint trail of earlier shed tears upon her face.
The flame-haired Noldo caressed a languid white curl against her neck and found within her loose fist the braid of his own hair that had been cut the evening they began their courtship. His smile could not be withheld at the memory of their first kiss on that rainy dawn. A deep breath and movement brought his gaze back upon her unconscious face and, carefully, he removed the braid from her hand and replaced it with some strands attached to his head, sitting to lean against the bed below her. Before long Maedhros felt her fingers moving to stroke the lock of auburn fire and he sighed at such a sincere feeling unknowingly missed.
“Where have you been?” Her soft voice inquired and he reached up to take the precious hand, pressing it to his lips.
“Away from you… Forgive my neglect, mîr nin.”
Her hand lay agin his cheek in a loving manner and she faithfully responded. “You were forgiven before ever an offense was made. Has some peace found you? What has brought about this change?”
“I fear I will not attain true peace until I am certain that what was foreseen can never occur. But as to my change… I have made a resolution, one I intend to keep.”

A month saw Maedhros fully restored to spirits. Having resolved in his mind a course of direction, and having his eyes opened to what hurt he had done Kalin in keeping to himself renewed his realization that there was someone now in whom he could seek comfort and find solace. No longer was he free to sulk and fall into the despair of his dreams; but now claimed a reason to be happy, a person to nurture with love and receive nurturing freely given. He could not now live without his jewel.
Mîrluiniel also, perceived this amendment and cherished each moment of his affection, for it seemed he gave it with more of himself, as if he were no longer testing the waters. She was secure in his trust and his heart.
Soon it was decided that a surveying party needed organizing to peruse the Marches and take note of any changes in the land or tracks that were unusual for the area. Maedhros and his brothers were to be gone several weeks and both lovers lamented the parting from the hour it was planned. On the eve of his departure Maedhros took her on the western wall to watch Laurelin make her path down in the sky, an opportunity to spend time in one another’s company without distraction. Kalin leaned her back against him and wove her fingers with his absent-mindedly, studying the light scars that accented his skin along with the contrasting softness between fingers to calluses upon his knuckles.
“Kalin…” Maedhros broke her concentration reluctantly and she looked up to him with a tilt of her head in acknowledgement. “I will be away for some time… I want you to promise me you will not venture anywhere east. Not even north or south without an armed edhel accompanying you.” The free-spirited elleth made to protest, but was silenced by the look of consternation etching her lord’s face. He broke her gaze to hide his weakness. “I want no harm to come to you, mîr nin. Please do this for me, it would ease my conscience greatly to know you are protected in my absence.”
She sighed and lifted his hand up for her to inspect once again, looking into his eyes after a moment’s silence. “Yes, I promise.” Finding him smiling with a relief she was happy to have given him, she watched him leaned down to reward her with a kiss that melted away every earlier opposition. While it melted her protests, the exchange also ignited ardor between them and the tall elf turned her in his grasp, cornering her up to the wall.
Impassioned, Maedhros kissed her neck fervently and moved to kneel before her, catching the maiden off guard. Her eyes questioned his, gleaming the more brightly when his hand took hers and held it between them. “Mîr nin, forgive me for all the times I have pulled my fëa from yours… I know now I never wish to leave your side in such a way. You know as well as I there is but one way that can ever be, and I would speak it before I depart.” His gaze dropped to her fingers and he took a breath before pressing them to his face. “I love you, Kalin, I want you as my wife… if you would you marry me.”
Those emeralds faced the elleth now and the fragile hope in them brought tears to her eyes, falling softly with the movement of her dropping to her knees, also. “Yes, Maedhros… I would.” She watched disbelief wash over his expression before joy replaced it and his face erupted in a beautiful grin.
“I have never felt such fullness in me, not even in Aman. Mîr nin, how I love you… what can I do to prove and show you how much?”
Stroking his face gently, the maiden pulled closer in his arms and spoke. “Only promise you will return to me with no broken bones, no gashes, and all of your heart.”
He smirked. “On the last point, only, can I vow. The other two, my brothers must attest for.” Their kiss was deeper this time, and they moved only a breath away when parted. “My heart is irrevocably yours, Kalin, so long as you wish to keep it.” His declaration caressed her very fëa with the truth she knew filled every word.
Mîrluiniel wrapped her arms around his neck and buried a happily tear-stained face in his hair. “I will always cherish it.”

At dawn Maedhros stood situating gear upon his great horse while his brothers around him did the same, eager to begin the thorough trek they had planned. Mîrluiniel stood patiently an arm’s length away, watching her beloved and carving his handsome stature into her mind to remember each detail later on. The elleth’s fingers played with a tiny relic and drew her lord’s attention when at length he turned to her. “What have you here, dear one?” Her Noldo lover questioned the trinket as he drew favorably closer.
His lady’s fingers opened to reveal a small token of wood meticulously inlaid with the etched star of his house. “A favor I would have you hold as close to your heart as it’s been held to mine.” Kalin explained, using a soft voice tinged with the same emotion that filled his heart at their imminent parting.
As she placed it within his open palm his hand caught hers there and brought it up to his lips endearingly, emerald eyes holding her blue gems captive. “I promise to do so. And return with it, to you, mîr nin.” Murmuring devotedly, he brought her body close against his and embraced his betrothed, kissing her cheek and neck.
The lady’s breath trembled at his sensitive ear. “Maedhros… I love you.”
His steady hold only strengthened around her at such vulnerable words, proving silently that because she loved him in return he would protect her all the more. Softly in Quenyan, the prince’s deep voice uttered how deeply he loved her, that though it may be many months before his arms found her again, it would be that much closer to the time when she would never leave his embrace as his wife. He felt a tear on his neck and his hand moved up to cradle her head through nimble curls. “Please do not grieve, Kalin, I will come back. And by Eru’s grace, you shall have me for a husband before a year passes.”
Mîrluiniel shuddered a breath until she could school her expression somewhat back to calm and pulled away to see her betrothed’s face, earning a smile and bestowing her own. “I shall pray so every night we cannot hold each other. I will miss you.” Her fair hand stroked up and down his strong arm cheerlessly.
“As will I, dear one.” Sweetly, his fingers caressed the softness of her face and dried away small traces of tears. Maedhros leaned just enough to taste of her lips and felt her mouth press harder until their kiss held half the fervency of their parting.
From a distance the second born of Fëanor's sons gazed on the scene with a heavy heart, at length forcing himself to mount his dappled bay mare resolutely. The tender moment Maglor had just been privy to was not his to have, nor ever would be… it was this fact that caused his immortal heart to feel the shadowed ache of mortality.

“She gave you her talisman?” Maedhros was awoken from his quiet reverie at Maglor’s gesture to the token he played with between sword-worn fingers.
The eldest smiled and nodded, handing it to his brother to look at. “It was her parting token for me.” He remembered fondly the summer morning he had bid farewell to his Sindarin jewel, missing her warmth now as the chill of winter crept into their camp upon the March.
Maglor stroked the emblem on it reverently, smiling sorely to note that Kalin’s same strokes were doubtless what had so smoothed the wood over time. “Celebrimbor made this for her, I recall.” He remarked absently before handing it back into his brother’s care. “Our nephew is sure to have grown in both stature and skill since last we saw the lad.”
“I’m certain he has. Kalin made mention some time ago that Curufin had begun taking him along to the forge. He is old enough, I suppose, to begin learning metal-work.” Such calm talk of family by the fire eased their troubled minds from increasing thoughts of wars, yrch, and the dark enemy who seemed to be feeling his way toward their new homeland. It was infrequent that the captain and his brothers talked of anything other than strategies, scout routes, and all that pertained to his march. But when they did it seemed to be silently agreed upon that the curly-headed elleth and her upcoming marriage to their brother was the most pleasant of topics.
After some peace and a sip each of the miruvor they had packed along, Maglor glanced over to his flame-haired kin again and smirked. “Have you thought of a wedding gift for her, yet, Russandol?”
“Alas, I’ve yet to find anything that would hold half the meaning I wish it to.” Maedhros sighed slightly and waited a moment before glancing up to his brother, intrigued. “What have you in mind, Kano?”
Shrugging, he grinned and explained. “It put me in mind when you said Celebrimbor had begun to learn metal-work… The boy means a great deal to Kalin, and the works of his hands clearly mean a great deal to her, as well.” Gesturing again to the trinket Maedhros held, he went on. “Have him inlay the sign of our house with mithril and put on a chain… So it would represent you, while the wood it is carved upon represents the love of her people. You must admit that such a thing would be lovely about her neck.”
“Any pendant would be beautiful about her neck.” Though his brother chided, the younger obliged him by conceding as he watched him mull the idea over. A few moments passed. “When spring has melted enough of the snow, I will travel to Himlad and see what merit your thoughts may have. It is a good idea, Kano, thank you.” Sharing a smile, the Maglor simply inclined his head, happy enough to have contributed.

Mîrluiniel spent her days often among the children of her friends within the fortress and in the forests west of Himring while she was parted from her betrothed, never letting him drift far from any thought. She could not help but worry for his safety, as she always did, but tried to console herself with the fact he had several brothers along to aide him if need arise. She trusted Maglor the most in this manner, and thanked the Valar on many nights for her friend and confidante. Kalin’s hope was that he would one day meet an elleth worthy of his care and nurturing affections. Maglor was a good and strong edhil and, had things been different, she would have loved him as truly as he loved her. As it was he would be a perfect brother-in-law and, Eru permitting, a loving uncle.
The elleth smiled to herself at such train of thought, she would love to make Maedhros a father. Mîrluiniel walked through the bordering woods of the keep, watching another layer of snow fall as she pulled the cloak tighter about her, thoughts of her beloved’s embrace warming her more than any fur could. With upturned face she let flakes float through the branches overhead and land in her snow-golden hair, whispering into the still of a wintry forest. “Illúvatar, hasten his way back to me.”