She, sorry they, will be back

Eleanor's POV

After that interesting time, we did go back for a short time to Concarneau for the festivals then we decided to jet set off to somewhere else.

Rome to be precise.

By now, we had ceased to be surprised that the Sindars owned a house there, which was still huge enough to house all of us comfortably.

The first time I stayed there, it was possible to go to the loo and shower at the same time in the bathroom.

Slight change in accommodation size.

We still used the bus and tube networks, Rome not being one of those places designed for quick access by cars.

A few days after our arrival, we visited one of my personal all time favourite places in Italy: The Villa D'Este.

The Villa D'Este is a Renaissance villa built by the Cardinal D'Este who was a serious connoisseur of classical art.

The place is out in the Italian countryside and has hundreds of fountains and absolutely gorgeous.

Don't ask me how, but Adindel had booked the place so we had it to ourselves for the day.

We all went in beautiful summer dresses and enjoyed posing for photographs round the place, the previous time I had been here was fun, but I have to admit there was an extra magic about having the place to ourselves.

The really nice restaurant was there for us as well and decided to keep the tables separate as various groups of us went to eat at different times.

I had lunch with just my husband and introduced him to Lacrima Christi, a rare wine grown on the slopes on Mount Vesuvius that just happens to be one of my favourites.

It is nice having a quiet romantic meal in the Italian countryside in the middle of summer.

I also notice the Ginny keeps disappearing off and I have my suspicions as to which ellyn are responsible for that.

A few days later we move down to Sorrento and another nice house.

Since we were so near, we went on a guided tour of Pompeii.

Ginny and I, being the lovely people we were, took the guide aside and told him not to tell the others when we went into one of the Roman brothels, and let them work it out for themselves.

Thankfully the guy had a good sense of humour, and understood exactly why we wanted him to do that.

While we were walking round the Forum, I saw the last person I expected to be on the historical site of Pompeii.

She also saw me and came rushing over.

"Lottie!"

Charlotte would be my best friend from school and, at a year younger who took a gap year before uni, still with a year left at Bath Spa University.

She also happened to be totally socialist in her outlook on life (despite me trying to cure her of her political views which were the result of upbringing) and the type of person who would shock the brains off an elf.

Fun to have around my family in other words.

Ginny, who had already met her, greeted her warmly (not that the temperature needed increasing). Then we introduced the elves.

She was not what they expected one of my friends to be like.

They expected my friends to be like Ginny, not 'brought up in Brixton' as Charlotte was.

She had 'brought up in Brixton' down to a fine art.

(AN: for those of you who don't know, Brixton is one of the ... less posh ... parts of London, to put it politely).

She then joined the group as she was on her own for some reason.

The elves then got an introduction to what conversation between her and I happens to be like.

That is I try and turn as much of what Charlotte says into something dirty as possible, not to mention making her blush.

For a girl who has far too many boyfriends (I lost count within the first year I knew her), she can be shocked by what I say far too easily.

When we get into that brothel, life gets funny.

The elves soon work out what the paintings show and their eyes widen noticeably.

What really shocks them is the way that Charlotte wanders along pointing to the pictures saying things like 'done that' or 'not physically possible, I've tried' and 'that looks interesting'.

If you are wondering, this is the girl who got disappointed when she opened the Karma Sutra because she had already tried a large proportion of the 'suggestions' in it.

Yes, I do make some very interesting friends.

I decided to relapse to one of my favourite habits I had when I originally knew Charlotte, making horrendously dirty comments to see if I could shock her.

I also managed to shock all of those around me, bar Ginny who had come across Charlotte-me conversations before.

That night, once we had dropped off Charlotte where she was staying –at an aunt's house I think, every elf was very quiet until we got to our own accommodation.

They were still silent until we had all sat down and then they stared at me for a bit before, finally, Ada spoke,

"Are the conversations between you and her always like that?"

I look up in the air the way kids do when asked a hard question, like the answer is written on the ceiling or something.

"Unless we're talking politics."

They all gape at me.

Then comes a barrage of questions, including (to my amusement) some for explanations of what some of the comments meant.

You have no idea how embarrassing those explanations were.

After a little while, I got very bored of the questions and stood up.

"I'm going to bed now."

I turn and go to leave the room.

When I was at the door, I turned back.

"Legolas?"

He looked at me suspiciously.

"You know those things you didn't get?"

He nods at me cautiously.

"If you want, I'll give you a demonstration."

I grin cheekily at him, notice the absolutely gobsmacked expressions of everyone in the room, turn and leave.

Score one for me.

Ginny's POV

After Mont Saint Michel, we travel back to Concarneau, where we are all educated thoroughly in the different traditional costumes of Brittany.

As much as I love to Ellie to bits, I can't help but drift off during these times. I think everyone does, although Turgon takes to wearing very paternal, very jealous looks whenever she mentions her human parents.

He obviously regrets the fact that he had to send her away, albeit for her own safety.

After this we all decamped to Rome, where Ellie and I have great fun in showing the Elves the places we had stated were at least as good as Rivendell, if not better.

We also visit the Villa D'Este, which Adindel had somehow managed to book up entirely.

I seem to remember that it is an incredibly romantic place and I can't for the life of me think why Adindel would go to such lengths and expense.

Really.

To indulge our weakness for pretty dresses, we girls all don floaty haute couture summer dresses.

Around lunchtime, Adindel offers to escort me to the restaurant. The little group I'm with happens to include Gil-galad and I can feel his eyes on us as we walk away; this feeling is probably enhanced by the fact that Adindel has lightly placed his hand upon the small of my back.

He sits me down on one of the balconies which has the most breath taking views of the Italian countryside. Adindel then proceeds to sit down directly opposite me and hands me the menu.

My eyes nearly pop out when I see the prices of the food – and that's just the starters.

Adindel then orders us an aperitif, Kir Royale.

It's served up at the table.

Crystal champagne flutes are placed on the table, they're already one-third full of blackcurrant syrup, and the waiter then dramatically pours the Dom Perignon champagne into the glass. It comes out as this gorgeous rich pinky-red colour.

The waiter leaves and, just as we're toasting each other, all four younger twins come bouncing into the restaurant and take a table right next to ours.

I was having a really nice romantic moment – I'm going to kill them.

Our companions chatter all the way through the meal; naturally, all romance is lost.

After the meal, I stalk off to find Lanthi. I eventually locate her next to one of the spectacular semi-circular fountains. We sit on the edge, running our fingers through the cool water as I explain my recent grievance to my little sister.

She stands and looks as though she's about to storm off to wring her husband's neck, when the aforementioned twins run into the area laughing and joking. Spotting us, they rush over, but, completely misjudging the stopping distance, Aini hurtles into me, sending me flying backwards into the water, shrieking.

I'm pulled out by Gil-galad.

It only occurs to me later that he was nowhere near the fountain and, despite there being several people far nearer, he managed to reach me first. Hmmm...

As Gil-galad clutches me to his chest, I notice a flicker of self-satisfaction flit across his face. I turn, just in time to see a flash of blonde disappear into the foliage.

I then sit back on the edge of the fountain and brush my hair out in the quick drying sun.

All through the afternoon, both Adindel and Gil-galad keep trying to get me on my own into secluded locations for a romantic moment or two. It becomes so frequent that I eventually take Ada's arm, refusing to let go.

A few days later, we decamp southwards to explore more of the ancient Roman sites, including Pompeii.

We carefully do not mention to the Elves that the nearby mountain is, in fact, an active volcano. It may just have made them ever so slightly jumpy, considering the last volcano they came across.

Ellie drags me over to our guide and we persuade him to not mention the tiny detail that we're soon to enter one of the infamous Roman brothels – I can't wait to see their faces.

We have to go through the Forum and I take this opportunity to point out many of the casts of the dead bodies, including the famous one of the tied-up dog. Poor doggy – not that Murrlin would agree.

My macabre monologue is interrupted by a girlish cry of 'Lottie!'

We all turn to see Ellie rushing towards a slightly overweight, olive skinned human. It doesn't take me long to recognise Lottie and I too squeal her name and rush to hug her.

Oooo...

I remember the first time I met Lottie.

I think the Elves are in for a bit of a shock.

I remain silent whilst Ellie shows just how not innocent she can really be and discreetly take a photo of Turgon's face.

We then reach the brothel.

I thought their expressions before were funny...

As we looked around the wall, which look like they belong in the Kama Sutra, the Elves' eyes widen to the size of dinner plates.

We see a depiction of a couple in a very complicated position, I'm unsurprised to hear Lottie comment about the impossibility of such a position, especially given her previous experience.

I'm also not surprised to find that she's actually tried...

The Elves are.

From that point, the afternoon degenerates significantly.

It is very amusing to watch the quite baffled and, to be honest, increasingly scandalised looks upon all those not used to Eleanor-Charlotte conversations.

All the way home, including the detour to drop Charlotte off, they are notably silent.

When we get home, it takes a little while for anyone to find their voice and then the right words.

Turgon eventually obliges and Ellie, doing a very bad impression of a child trying find the answer, states that they are like that, unless they're 'talking politics'.

Typical.

Many questions and queries follow and I'm rather amused to listen and watch Ellie trying to answer them.

'Poetic justice', I think, is the phrase.

Ellie does eventually get the upper hand when she makes a suitably risqué proposition at her husband.

He takes her up on it.

Once they're gone, I clap slowly, trying desperately not to laugh.

I look at the gaping-fish expressions on each ancient face.

"Congratulations; meet Ellie."