Parody of the Rings: Fellowship of the...Ah who the hell are we kidding?

From out of nowhere arrives Boromir the brave, Gimli the wide, and Legolas the prissy. Boromir parks his horse in overlapping compact horse spaces, Legolas parks down att thhe far end of the parking lot, and Gimli Illegally parks up by the front gate. His horse is immediatly towed by the "Elf Patrol".

In the council, all are present...minus Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Glorfindel.
Glorfindel: DAMN THAT TRICK COIN!!!
Elrond begins the meeting.
Elrond: Now that we are all here, we will discuss what is happening. We must capture Osama Bin Laden, or he will attack our towers again.
Frodo: Who? I thought we were here to talk about Sauron.
Elrond: Oh yes...Sauron. You all ready for the history lesson? It all began with the forging of the Rings of Power...
Elrond lapses into a long speech.

4 Hours later-
Elrond: ...And that is why the sky is blue!
Elrond looks around only to find that everyone is asleep. He clears his throat loudly and all are awakened, exept Boromir, who continues to snore.
Elrond: AHEM!!!
Boromir: ...GONDOR NEEDS NO KING!! I mean...What's going on?
Elrond: Am I boring you?
Boromir: Do you want a truthful answer to that question?
Elrond scowls at the man, and then he is ready for business again.
Elrond: So who wants to take the ring and destroy it in the feiry mountain?
Bilbo: ME!!!
Gandalf: Shut up you!
Boromir: Why don't we use it?
Aragorn: Cause it's evil.
Boromir: And what would you know about it, Ranger boy?
Aragorn: Well I am Isuldurs heir.
Boromir: You? Well your luck that Gondor needs no king.
Frodo: You already said that.
Boromir: Shut it shorty!
Legolas: I like rings.
Gimli: You're such a prissy bitch.
Legolas: Thhen I suppose you want it.
Gimli: Nope. Peter Jackson itsn't paying me enough to have an opinion.
Frodo: I'll take it!
Gandalf: I'll go too.
Boromir: Ya'all ain't going nowhere without me.
Arwen: I wanna go.
Elrond: No!
Legolas: You should love me instead of this mangie ranger.
Arwen: But you're a girl.
Legolas: AM NOT!!
Aragorn: See, she's mine.
Legolas: Silence filthy human!
Aragorn: What'sa matter? Split ends? Hang nail? PMS?
Legolas: I AM NOT A GIRL!!
Aragorn: That's debatable.
Gimli: I'll go.
Arwen: I'll go.
Elrond: No! Get outa here.
Arwen: Okay, but you owe me big time, Ada. (father)
Legolas: I'm going!
Aragorn: Count me in.
Sam: I'm coming too.
Aragorn: Oh no.
Merry: Us too.
Merry and Pippin jump into the room. Elrond looks the travelers up and down.
Elrond: Okay. You're the Fellowship...Ah who the hhell are we kidding.
Pippin: Great. Where are we going?
Merry: You idiot! We're going to thhe mall.
Aragorn: No...No that isn't right either.

Well that's it for now.
Luv,
Ur SamwiseTS