Agarwaen

~*~Epilogue~*~

Summer was waning. The Lothlórien nights had grown cool but the afternoons were still hot enough to make the mallorn leaves wilt in the humidity. Haldir in shirtsleeves and a loose, open-necked tunic walked with heavy steps up the hill, pausing just within the circle of birch trees that fluttered their net of green-silver leaves over the glade. He slipped out of the hot sun and ran his fingers over the cool smoothness of a white trunk, stopping only when he came to the center where two small saplings had been planted separated from the others.

“I heard a rumor you were leaving,” he said. His voice sounded unusually forced as though it had to break through the buzzing silence in his ears.

Fedorian did not rise to greet him. He didn’t even turn his head from the two trees, one white, one silver, both beginning to flower. His hair was unbraided and fell in a thin cascade down his back, the gold sheen faded in the shadows.

Prickled by the other’s silence, Haldir stepped forward a little more firmly. “I will not defend my actions any further than I already have.”

The bowed shoulders shifted in a shrug. “You did what you thought was right.”

The tall length of his body rippled as Fedorian got slowly to his feet. Haldir unconsciously tensed. He half-believed his friend might attack him. The last he had seen of him was when he had formally resigned his commission before the Lord and Lady with only Arenath standing beside him. His mentor didn’t even deign to look at him as he strode from the great hall through the ranks of those he once commanded.

But Fedorian faced him calmly now, his expression so smooth it was almost bland, as though he had accepted that his life was completely shattered and his once noble code of honor in ruins. “Rumors always hold a ring of truth. I am leaving.”

“When?”

“As soon as I can arrange it. I will not stay here longer than I must. A prisoner in my own home,” he directed his shadowed eyes toward the bottom of the hill where two soldiers waited, their white cloaks draped over the green sward. The “prisoner” was theoretically not allowed outside his home but they had made an exception this one instance so he could visit his wife and daughter’s graves for the last time.

“I told my esteemed Lord Celeborn and his omniscient Lady you had nothing to do with the blood-letting. They will have cleared you by now and doubtless you have already secured your place as officer with that merciful display on the border.” Haldir had prevented the slaughter of the Gondorian survivors when Fedorian ordered their deaths.

“Will you be able to get out?” Haldir couldn’t help feeling a little concerned though he had sworn he wouldn’t get involved.

“I can manage. I still have some friends.”

There was a definite note of bitterness there and Haldir only barely held back a flinch.

Fedorian caressed the leaves of the small, silver birch. “I have handled this the only way I know how. I told you once we were but leaves in the river. I am taking what little control I have left over my life.”

“This is not the way.”

“Not for you, no.”

“You will be alone.”

“Arenath will come with me.”

“Where will you go?”

For the first time a smile lighted Fedorian’s face, but it did nothing to reassure Haldir. In fact, it frightened him with the sheer lifelessness in his eyes. “Where there are men.”

Haldir lowered his gaze. Their enemies had paid the final price; there was nothing more to be gained by pursuing this except heartbreak. “I will stay,” he said. “I cannot follow you any further on this path if you are so willing to take it.”

“And I cannot stay.”

“That is your choice.” Haldir couldn’t help the sense of loss that flooded his heart.

Despite everything, Fedorian had been his captain, his mentor and his friend, had pulled him through the war and some of the darkest moments of his life (as well as dragged him into both). He could not know that from this broken friendship he would forge another even more powerful one with a race he once despised, one which would heal his old hurts and carry him through even darker days and more perilous ventures.

Shadows lengthened under the birch trees as the afternoon sank towards evening.

“No, it really isn’t.”


End Notes: Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, perused, critiqued and otherwise had a hand in the making of this story. Though I probably would have completed it eventually, the going would have been a lot rougher without you. So, my sincerest thank-yous go out.

‘Til next. As promised, the preview awaits.

~The Lady of Light~




Agarwaen Bloodstained Annotations [Unposted]

Introduction

For those interested in the twisted inner-workings of my mind, I decided to write out how I first conceived the second version of this story and how it came to be develop into the whopper it is today. And thanks goes first and foremost to all of my gorgeous and supportive reviewers who made it such a joy to write.

Initially, this story had started as an attempt for me to write a ten-chapter, hundred page story (which, as you should know, having reached this far, spectacularly failed.) It took off and I liked writing it so, naturally, page limit was the first thing that got dumped. This story has changed so much since its first conception in 2002 and even more so over the course of the actual writing.

First off, the second version of this story is completely different and (in my opinion) much better than the first. I was working on the first draft while I was still a freshman in high school, enamored with the thought of posting on the Internet and desperately in love with Tolkien’s world after having watched the films thirteen plus times in theaters and devouring the books. While the latter is still true, time and experience have leant me a new motivation for posting works on this site.

I took down the first version years ago with the thought to revise it when I got the chance. It was a jumbled mess though it did get acclaim from quite a few people in its golden days—the Valar know why. If any of my old reviewers are reading and read this version too, bless you! I hope you were not disappointed.

Years passed, my plan to revise never really got off the ground while I wrote other, lengthier stories and continued to research and delve ever deeper into Tolkien’s masterpiece, learning a lot that I’d never known before about Aragorn and his place in Middle-Earth and exploring the facets of Haldir’s character that for me became a mix of book and movie. I added bits and pieces over the years and finally, with the conclusion of Cost of Blood, this past year, I decided that Agarwaen was ready to make its shiny new appearance.

As long as this story became and as much as I put into it, there were yet many, many more scenes and instances that I left out either because they didn’t fit or I changed direction (some of it was just buggering wrong.) On a file on my computer, I have another 200 plus pages of scraps and scenes I either completely rewrote or threw out entirely. Despite the fact that I can’t share everything—that would take more time and patience than I possess—a few things can slip in I think…

Beginnings and Characters

I had a prologue originally that began in Merdon with Fedorian’s first, bloody murder of a young barkeep in the Goat. But in favor of introducing Aragorn and Haldir sooner, I decided to drop it and an improved version of the prologue reappeared in Part Two with the murder of Caleb in the stables that set off Carlóme and Zaren torturing Haldir in the cellar. Oh, and speaking of Carlóme…

She was the only OC who had remained essentially herself as she was in the First Version. Everybody else had changed names, changed attitudes and largely changed genders. This time around they actually had histories. (This was a big flaw in the first version—majorly lifeless minor characters.) Although Fedorian and Arenath I had had in mind from the very beginning, and their names and basic selves did not change though their roles did.

Can I admit something embarrassing? Sure I can. In the very, VERY beginning mind you, Fedorian’s first name was the name of Haldir’s horse: Lintedal. Yeah. Horrible, isn’t it? At the last minute I decided it wasn’t quite right for my villain to be called “Blue Foot”—that’s just not cool. But though his name changed just in time for the 2002 posting, he was actually Haldir’s subordinate and student—that didn’t switch until I wrote Cost of Blood and I’m rather glad it did because it gave rise to so much.

Okay. To make this a bit better organized and easier to read, below is the original outline I had written when I started this story way back in December. The text in bold are my additions and comments. As you will see, the story has changed much since then.

Part One

Aragorn and Haldir arrive in Mordun / Merdon [I arbitrarily picked Merdon, possibly because I felt like being ironic in a French mood]

Discover a “ghost” preying on men in the backwater town

Become embroiled in a woman’s quest for vengeance against the creature [Most of these early notes and beginnings did pan out the way I wrote them]

Part Two and Three

Haldir caught in the middle: accused of murder but decides to help capture the real killer in exchange for his freedom and to clear his reputation. [Calling up the old grief that had begun in Cost of Blood took surprisingly longer to come up with then I thought. But I thought it was a good way to slip in some angst and provide more motivation for just why Haldir said he’d go on this wild goose chase, dragging Aragorn with him, and not tell Carlóme and Zaren to go hang themselves. Ah, but a chance for redemption, that works.]

Need to give hints throughout that’s an elf. Still, it’s something they discover early-ish on. Carlóme knows? She doesn’t think the murderer is a ghost as the simple folk think; she knows it’s an elf and she points this out to Haldir before Aragorn frees him. [This proved to be a good way of expanding Carlóme’s character and finding out who she really was and I came up with the story of her having to kill her brother and discovering who the real murderer was which she explains to Haldir in the inn; the later stuff with her being a slave in Harad with Saeryn didn’t come until later.]

Part Four

Journey into the woods on the track of the killer [can’t just be them following a trail of dead bodies. Need something to go on. Maybe Fedorian does torture them and Caleb was a fluke because he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fedorian was floating around the tavern because he had seen Haldir in the woods. [Originally, I had Fedorian keeping much closer tabs on the band after his blood. For a while I had him as a faceless old beggar sitting in front of the tavern but in the end I decided he wouldn’t risk that much. In the first version he was much more a “serial killer” that what he became: I’d left in hints of his previous victims but decided in the interest of concision to remove a large chunk of it.]

On the Ridge, Carlóme’s group search in vain for a trail or a clue, something that will lead them to the elf murderer. Even with Haldir’s help they find nothing- except a body?

Part Five and Six

Aragorn is out hunting and catches sight of the murderer (grouse-hunting scene). Luckily, he runs and makes it back to Carlóme’s group and they quickly move on after him. There are signs in the clearing that only Haldir can read. But he misleads them? Now that he knows Carlóme will kill the elf before he can find out anything…wondering if maybe he knows the elf? That night in a cave where they sheltered, he dreams. Fedorian leaves a note in his quiver? Tunic? [In this section I tried following more the original first version’s trail of events where Fedorian had contacted Haldir by writing a note in blood and leaving it for him to find but Aragorn just got in the right place at the right time and Yyrin shouldered his way in too so in the end I wrote about that scene in the clearing where Arenath reveals himself and Carlóme finds out just who she was traveling with. The grouse-hunting I turned into deer-hunting in case you were wondering.]

Haldir decides to go meet the elf alone as he asks, ignores Aragorn’s protests. Fedorian greets him like a comrade in arms (Arenath nearly cries). Carlóme sees the whole thing. [The way I wrote it, Aragorn didn’t even have time to protest. Poor Arenath, so desperate for any other contact. This was fun to write too because Aragorn got a bigger part than I’d thought of giving him. I’ll admit the ranger has grown on me—to rather deadly effect, unfortunately for him.]

Haldir explains to the group, in brief, who Fedorian is, why he hunts men. That sort of thing- in an interesting way. [‘Interesting’ was the key word there. Big narrative explanations are always hard to do and you guys put up with it so well. I think this also led to the Haldir / Fedorian flashback in a later chapter.]

Arenath comes in the night- he has seen Haldir, gives himself up. A plan worked out to bring Fedorian in- either return him to Lothlórien under guard (Haldir’s preference) or kill him (Carlóme’s). [This worked on in a much different way. Arenath was more complex than I’d given him credit for and he became very unsure of himself—though as you know in the end he did the right thing at the cost of his life (which again was in the First Version and was something I had planned from the beginning).]

Part Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen

Haldir turns spy for the humans against his old friend and commander. (At this point neither Carlóme nor Aragorn know the extent of Haldir’s previous involvement with the elven killer.) [Brenn got a bigger part in this section than I’d thought and he became Fedorian’s first victim though it turned out to be a ruse to lure Aragorn in closer. Branock just appeared one day and I thought: sure, why not? I needed to get Haldir out of the way long enough for Aragorn to be tortured and in the meantime flesh out more of Haldir’s traumatic past and eventual reconciliation.]

Part Fourteen, Fifteen, and Sixteen

Aragorn captured- Arenath befriends him, tries to help him and instead gets killed- either by Carlóme who is searching for the ranger as well or by his hand at the urging of Fedorian. [I had not yet decided how exactly Arenath was to die. I ran through a bunch of scenarios and everything from Fedorian stabbing him, to Carlóme, to his committing suicide. I hadn’t really intended him to fall off a cliff but it worked out nicely that way.]

Zaren slain. Carlóme goes half-mad with grief. Goes on a furious, ceaseless hunt to find the monster or die trying. [I dropped this because Yyrin was already dead and Arenath and I didn’t think my readers could stand to be numbed but yet another. Well, that and I’d grown rather attached to the rogue and didn’t want to kill him. So Zaren was spared a very messy, gruesome death at Fedorian’s hands though I did write that scene out.]

Part Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen

[Aragorn’s rescue was a tricky thing and I rewrote it at least twice. One version I recall was, Carlóme set afire the talan Fedorian and Arenath had taken Aragorn too and there ended up being this whole battle in the flames which rather nicely paralleled a scene in Cost of Blood and reemphasized Geilrín and Silivren’s deaths but for some reason I can’t remember I dropped that too.]

[I really only had the vaguest idea of what I wanted to do with the end of this after Arenath was dead. At first, I had Aragorn being rescued and taken back to Merdon and then Fedorian seeking them out there, setting fire to the inn in retaliation and killing Zaren. But when he got captured up on the ridge, obviously, I had to think of something else. Thus came, Petrin and Aylward and the prison visit which actually I preferred over what I initially wrote. It fit better.]

Part Twenty and Twenty-One

Final hunt-down for Fedorian who is finally cornered and the final battle between he and Haldir begins. Fedorian slain. Haldir near-mortally wounded. [I so wanted the end confrontation between Fedorian and Haldir to be on the bridge where Aragorn first met Arenath and where Haldir turned spy for the humans. But I just couldn’t get them that far. And I think in the end, the fight in the glade worked out for the best. And yes, the hero is almost always near-mortally wounded in my stories. It happened in the first version so I had to keep it in the second—for my own, sadistic amusement J And my reviewers’ apparently! I know Viggomaniac, LilyBaggins and estelstheone at least would have been disappointed if I hadn’t given Aragorn some cause for woe and angst.]

Wounds both emotional and physical tended to. End up back at the inn? A tentative alliance or at least balance reached between Carlóme and Haldir. They part while not friends at least no longer enemies and the elf and ranger finally journey on to Rivendell. [Ah, a happy ending. Something I always insist on. Although I hadn’t yet come up with the idea for the prison—at first I’d had Haldir waking up back at the inn in Merdon but with his wounds I realized it would have been impossible to move him that far.]


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