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Caelen's room in Eryndil's home. Afternoon of November 9, 1347.
Written by Rian
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Caelen stood by her bed, lost in thought. Hendegil had just left her, after a long and satisfying conversation where she had filled in all of the details that Caelen was longing to hear about the conversation that had taken place after she had left the library ("and then what did SHE say?" "Oh, he really said THAT?"
Her heart warmed as she thought back on Hendegil's description of Eryndil's empassioned defense of her to his mother, culminating in a respectful but firm declaration that if anyone was going to leave his house, it would be his mother instead of his wife-to-be, but that he knew that she and Caelen would soon be the best of friends. And Camglas defending her, too, along with Hendegil! It was truly heartening. "And mother will come around soon, Caelen - she has already almost entirely changed her opinion of you - and really, it was just because ... well, she just wanted her youngest son to marry well, forgetting that "well" doesn't necessarily mean rich or famous. She's really not like that at all, normally - I don't know what was wrong, but ... she'll come around, don't worry."
Then Hendegil reached over and gave Caelen a hug. "And I won't let you go away, either - I want you for my sister!" Then in a more serious tone, she added, "And my brother needs you, too, Caelen - someone with a little spirit in them!"
Caelen laughed, then blushed. "Do you think she'll ever forgive me for slapping her like that?" she asked earnestly. "I can't believe I lost my temper like that!"
"Oh, I think she will - and actually, I think she'll admire you for it eventually!" laughed Hendegil. "I think I would have done the same thing in your place!"
"Well, I hope you're never in that place!"
After a few more minutes of conversation, Hendegil had left Caelen, at Caelen's request. She needed some time to think, and to do something that she knew she needed to do - apologize to Rildorien.
But it was much more pleasant to think about Eryndil, and what Hendi had said he said about her, and about his coming to her room and telling her in that deep, firm, masculine voice that she loved to hear (when it agreed with her inclinations, that is) that she wasn't going anywhere, and that kiss ... and then the delightful explorations - first tentative and shy, then more assured and possessive - that followed.
She could still feel his hands on her body - even more so when she closed her eyes, she found out. She got an idea, hesitated a moment, and then, opening her eyes to make sure the door was closed, took her hands and briefly touched her own body, trying to imagine what it had felt like to him. Did it feel nicer if she just tightened up that muscle a bit, or was it better softer? She tried a few options, then finally laughed rather sheepishly at herself and gave it up - it was just too hard to separate the sensation of being touched from the sensation of touching. Instead, she decided to concentrate on remembering what HIS body had felt like to HER hands - and smiled a smile that, had he seen it, would have made Eryndil feel that even 10 seconds was too long to wait.
***
Lunch was over, and Caelen had not come for it. Hendegil had made apologies for her friend, saying that she was rather tired and needed to rest, and that explanation was sufficient for those who had not been in on the altercation in the library. Lunch had been rather a silent affair, but now it was over. The others had left - Hendegil after giving her mother a hug and a kiss - but Rildorien had lingered at the table.
She got up and walked over to the window, looking out at the November shrubbery but not really seeing it. She had begun to deeply regret her intentional insult to her future daughter-in-law, and was wondering what the best course of action would be to mend it. The slap was inexcusable, of course ... but really, so was her comment ...
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in," called Rildorien, and one of the maidservants entered the dining room.
"A letter for you, ma'am, if you please," said the maid with a curtsey, holding out several folded sheets of paper to her mistress.
"Thank you," said Rildorien, taking the letter and dismissing the maidservant with a nod of her head. She waited for the door to close, then opened the letter and glanced at the bottom - it was from Caelen ... She quickly went back to the top and started reading:
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Dear Madame,
I most humbly offer my sincere apology for slapping your face in the library earlier today. It was inexcusable on my part to do that, even though I felt most grievously provoked by your comment. My mother always said that our actions should not be governed by the actions of others, and even though I was provoked by your comment, it was very wrong of me to act on that provocation in the way that I did, and I humbly ask for your forgiveness.
I don't blame you at all if you don't forgive me, for to strike an older woman in the house of her son is something that even I can hardly believe that I did, now that I have calmed down and am able to reflect on the matter. My mother would have chastised me most severely for it, and very rightly. She always told me that I would have a lifelong battle with my temper, and she was right - and oh, how I miss her guidance and help! However, all I can do at this point is beg your forgiveness and hope that you have mercy on me and my faults of temper.
But madame, here I feel that I must be bold and defend my character to you, for the accusation implicit in your "Congratulations" is one that is abhorrant to me, and is entirely false, and I feel that I must tell you this, whether or not you will believe it. For I am the chosen betrothed of your son, and I think I have the right to respectfully request that you listen to my explanation.
My mother taught us that to say "Congratulations" to a woman on her engagement was one of the worst possible insults to offer, for it infers that the woman was actively trying to entice the man to offer marriage to her for her own personal gain. To put it in the worst possible words, it is the same as whoring, because it is selling love for money.
I have been guilty of many wrongdoings, mostly from my unfortunate temper, but I have NEVER tried to entice a man to marry me - in fact, while growing up, I was never interested in marriage at all, and because of the terrible circumstances during our trip here, the thought of marriage was completely repugnant to me. While I was at your home in Ostinand, I had even made a decision to never marry, and told my brother of this decision.
And even if I did overcome my repugnance and decide to try to entrap a man, I would never have chosen your son - knowing him as I do, I know it would be absolute foolishness for me to even attempt it. For madame, you know your son, and that he is the model of integrity and uprightness, and you know me, at least a little, and have seen many faults, I'm sure. So how could I even think that I could succeed in tricking him into proposing marriage to me? It is an impossibility. His character renders him immune to the types of things that these women would try to trick him into a proposal, and my faults rise up before me and declare that his wanting to marry me is impossible. Even now, I don't see why he wants to marry me, but he kept pressing me to accept in the most insistent way, and so I finally did, because of the honor and respect I have for him, and because I could see that he truly wished to marry me, despite my many faults. So I hope that you will clear me of this charge of entrapment, for I certainly never did such a thing, and would never even consider it, especially with your son.
Madame, your son has pledged his troth to me, and I to him, and I have no doubt that he will carry out his pledge, for that is the type of man that he is. I will try my very best to be a good wife to him, by the grace of the Valar and the help of Eru, and to be an addition to your family that you will be proud of, at least a little. I do not bring position, or talent, or other worldly things to him and his family, but I do bring a heart that loves and honors your son and his family, and a willingness to strive to correct my faults.
Sincerely,
Caelen
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There were many expressions that had crossed Rildorien's face as she read through the letter, but the one that remained was a gentle smile. "The cheeky girl!" she thought, the smile widening as she shook her head at the letter. "Offers me an abject and humble apology, then demands - absolutely DEMANDS that I listen to her explanation! But she's right - she IS the chosen betrothed of my boy (no matter that her boy was now 40 and towered over her - a mother is a mother!) and he WILL marry her, and she deserves a hearing ... and she WAS respectful in the letter ... and perhaps I would have done better to be a little more firm with MY mother-in-law in those early days!"
Rildorien sighed and gazed out of the window, then turned back to the letter in her hand and read through it again. Even before the letter, her feelings towards Caelen had gone through a considerable change after Caelen had left the room and Rildorien's husband, son and daughter had all firmly admonished her, and told her things that she hadn't known, and insisted on her admitting things that she HAD known - and even when she had said the insult, she knew in her heart that she was wrong.
It's just hard for a mother to have dreams for the little boy that she had always favored, and have someone come along that didn't fit those dreams, and that you knew would take him away from you in a large measure. But Rildorien's marriage had been a happy one, and she knew now that it was only her selfishness and misplaced ambition for her son that had made her reject Caelen as his bride. Rildorien was a good woman, and once her little selfish fit had passed, she was wise enough to see and appreciate Caelen's many virtues. And it was very clear indeed to her that her son loved Caelen very much.
She sighed again, but this time with a little smile on her face, and picked up her pen to answer Caelen's letter, but hadn't gotten farther than the salutation before there was a quiet little knock at the door.
"Come in," Rildorien called, and was surprised to see Caelen's head peep through the door, with large eyes and the type of expression on her face that you see on your favorite dog after he's stolen the meat off of the table and he's not sure if you're still upset with him.
"I couldn't wait any longer," she began tentatively, and then boldly stepped into the room. "Do you have an answer for me yet?" she asked shyly, biting her lower lip nervously as she looked at her letter in the hands of her future mother-in-law.
Rildorien stood up with a tender smile on her face and held out her arms wide to her future daughter-in-law. "Here is my answer," she said, and Caelen ran to her.
