Rebirth

Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed ... you make my day!
Thanks to Panneth for all of her wonderful beta work.

*

Chapter 3: Unlocking

“So if you want to love me, then darling don’t refrain …” Guns’n Roses



“Make sure to keep the scouts vigilant, especially around the Eastern borders,” Thranduil said as he put his gauntlets on.

“Yes, Father,” replied Oropher, who was walking by him, striving to keep up with Thranduil’s quick pace.

“You might wish to consider sending a messenger to Erebor, I would like to know if the Dwarves are experiencing the same problems with Men as we are of late.”

“Yes, Father.”

They were already approaching the stables. Thranduil saw his wife standing by her horse, ready to mount. There was another horse prepared for him and a third one carrying the supplies they would need for the trip.

“I am also worried about the troops we sent to patrol the Southern borders closest to Moria. We have not had news of them for weeks. I would like you to speak to Nárgalen of this and take the appropriate action.”

“Father?”

Thranduil stopped in his tracks to look at Oropher. His son had an amused look on his face.

“I think I can take care of the Kingdom during your absence. Please, enjoy yourselves and do not worry about these matters.” Oropher said.

Thranduil smiled at his son and nodded.

“I am sorry. I know you are capable, but I am not used to simply leaving my affairs in someone else’s hands.”

“You deserve this time with her, Father.” Oropher smiled impishly and couldn’t help to add, “make the most of it.”

Thranduil chuckled, then put his hand on Oropher’s shoulder and said,

“Knowing that you will be in charge of everything here will make my departure easier.”

Together, they made for the horses. After making sure everything was prepared, Thranduil mounted his steed. Idhreniel approached her son and embraced him. She had greatly enjoyed Oropher’s company during the last year and had learned much about the adult he had become. She knew she would deeply miss him. They would be gone for many weeks, Thranduil had said. If Oropher had not offered to take all the responsibilities on his shoulders, Idhreniel was certain Thranduil would’ve been much more reluctant to go for so long. Right before she pulled away, she whispered,

“Hannon le, ionnen [thank you, my son].”

*

Idhreniel stared at the small cottage rising by the side of the river. After only a few days of travel, they had arrived to their destination. She remembered this dwelling vaguely. She knew it was a place where their family had spent many happy moments, but every time she concentrated on remembering something … anything about their trips to the cottage, she found herself facing a solid wall of darkness. Perhaps, she had concluded, she was not ready to know what lay behind that wall. Idhreniel would have preferred to travel further south and visit Aradol in Ithilien, but her husband had answered with a very curt no. She was beginning to wonder if this place would be the key that would unlock the door to truly recover her past.

Idhreniel busied herself for most of the afternoon by unpacking their clothing and supplies, opening windows and lightly cleaning the place. Thranduil, in the meantime, had told her that he would procure them dinner. She wondered if he had gone hunting. After being satisfied that everything had been taken care of, she ventured outside to gather dead wood for a fire. The sight she caught left her frozen to the spot.

The river was a gentle stream singing a few paces away from their house. She could see many insects buzzing right above the crystalline surface, she could hear the song of the frogs and the happy burbling of the water. But her eyes were solely fixed on the figure that stood perfectly still atop a rock. Clad only in breeches and armed with a spear, the King’s back shone with moisture in the light of the afternoon sun. He had tied his hair in one single braid that allowed Idhreniel to see each one of the strong muscles outlined on his back. The gathering of wood was immediately forgotten. Thranduil was fishing.

She didn’t know for how long she watched him, lost in the most delightful thoughts, but the moment he moved forward with great force, she startled in surprise. The spear sunk in the water and Thranduil retrieved it immediately. A great trout was impaled by the wood, flapping fruitlessly against the stick. Thranduil turned and made for the shore. Idhreniel was already approaching to help him, but he raised his hand and said vehemently,

“Stay back from the water!”

Idhreniel was surprised at his tone and said,

“I am only trying to assist you.”

Thranduil’s demeanor softened, although Idhreniel could still see a dark worry clouding his eyes.

“Maybe you could start a fire while I clean the fish in the river,” he said.

Idhreniel nodded and giving him one last look went to work. Thranduil almost believed that he saw a fiery glint in them.

*

Thranduil gathered the catch of the day in a shallow plate. He had cleaned the three trout and was eager to dine. From the shore he could smell the wood burning and the mixture of spices Idhreniel was preparing to cook the fish. His stomach rumbled at the thought of a good meal. Idhreniel had a very special gift in the kitchen and her talents had bloomed since she had made that berry pie a few weeks back. Thranduil rose from the rock he had been kneeling on and turned around. He glanced quickly at Idhreniel, only to halt his step and look at her again. The sight was most delightful and unexpected.

She was on all fours, blowing carefully into the fire to kindle it more. The mortar, where she had been mixing the ingredients for their dinner, lay forgotten by her side. The King stared again and almost groaned. In the light of the sinking sun the fabric of her gown was almost transparent and the curves of her body were perfectly outlined. She began fidgeting with a thin piece of log, and her breasts moved accordingly, gently swaying inside the soft fabric. His eyes followed the feline line of her body. Graceful, delicate, yet powerful, and extremely flexible, he reminded himself. He chastised himself forcefully for such lustful thoughts, and was about to resume his walk when Idhreniel moved again. Apparently, the fire kept causing her problems. This time she had to press her face against the earth, and her body took on a different angle when her lower back rose to compensate. A very enticing angle.

Thranduil felt his hand unconsciously forming into a fist. His body was responding and he could do little this time to appease his desires. Ever since that kiss a few weeks ago, he had rested by her side at night, but their touches had never been more than kisses and timid explorations. Thranduil had reigned himself in, not allowing the needs of his body dominate him. He knew that the moment they joined, her fëa would commune with his and the brunt of her memories with him would be unlocked. Her trances had become almost nonexistent in the previous weeks, but he needed to make sure that she was prepared to take the next step.

He was pulled away from his reverie by her voice,

“Are you done with those fish? The fire is ready!”

Thranduil blinked quickly and approached her. He was certain he had heard a bit of laughter in her words, but decided that it must have been his imagination. He walked to her side and placed the plate on the tree stump that served as a stool.

Idrheniel stared at the trout for a moment, and after getting her hair out of her face, she grabbed the mortar again. She knelt and rocked back on her heels, placing the mortar on her lap. Rapidly, she began to work the spices again, crushing them to enhance their flavor.

Thranduil stood right in front of her, staring. He mentioned to her that he was going to clean himself up and yet he remained. He was mesmerized looking at the movements of her hands, and his eyes didn’t miss the way her breasts bounced at the rhythm of each one of the quick successive poundings. The low cut gown allowed him to see more than he had seen until now; he admired the milky texture of her skin, and the rounded swelling of her breasts. Perky and small, but perfectly shaped to fit in his hands. Perfect to knead and fondle and awaken. There was something he needed to tell her, but his mind was long gone and his tongue didn’t want to cooperate. His whole body suddenly felt heavy and hot. Very hot. Finally, he was able to mutter,

“Do not …”

“… get close to the river, I know,” she finished for him.

“I am only …”

“… trying to protect me, I know,” she said with a hint of exasperation. Her movements stopped and she lifted her head to stare right at him. She saw that his eyes were not focused on her face, but lower. She smiled playfully and asked, “Do you like my dress?”

The question broke the spell and Thranduil stared at her a bit perplexed and a bit embarrassed. He squared his jaw and replied,

“It is lovely.”

*

Dinner had been delicious. They had eaten outside, right by the fire. Idhreniel kept surprising herself in the kitchen. She knew instinctively how to do things; how to mix the right amounts of ingredients, how long to leave the food cooking, how to present her creations in the most appealing way. After the food had disappeared they remained outside, enjoying a glass of Dorwinion and for once not talking about the past, but about the future. Thranduil wanted her to be crowned Queen again and give her a lavish celebration. Idhreniel was uncertain, but she understood the motives behind her husband’s decision. The wood-elves needed to see for themselves that she had indeed returned.

“I suppose you simply want an excuse to clad me in jewels,” Idhreniel said amused. She turned slightly to look at him. His hair was hanging free of braids and he was comfortably dressed in leather breeches and a silky shirt. It was carelessly open and she could see a gold chain around his neck. Hanging from the chain, there was a round locket with intricate engravings. Idhreniel’s fingers grabbed the jewel and she finished, “jewels such as this one. It is beautiful. What does it guard?”

Thranduil put his hand over hers and stared at her cryptically,

“That, my Lady, is a secret.”

Idhreniel’s eyes widened and she feigned mock indignation,

“You would keep secrets from me?”

Thranduil laughed and set his glass down. He put his arm around her shoulders and brought her close to him. Idhreniel leaned against him as she watched the flicker of the flames. Their easy chatter dwindled and the cracking of the fire and the calling of the owls filled the night. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She could feel his warmth against her cheek and she could smell the musky scent of his skin. The feelings were there, she could not deny them any longer. The need, the instinct, the yearning that lured her to him. The air became charged with unspoken wishes and she knew that he was waiting for her to take the first step. He would not push her; he would control himself until she was prepared.

Innocently, she placed her hand on his knee. There was no reaction on his side and her hand moved lightly up his leg. She rested for a moment at his waist and then she traveled farther up, until she reached the opening of his shirt. She made a move as if she were to touch the locket again. Instead, she played lazily with the silk of the garment, outlining the seam and gently touching his chest. She saw his skin react to her contact and she looked at his face. His eyes were fixed on the fire. She could not read any clear emotion in them, but she was certain that he was clamping his jaw shut as hard as he could. As always, Thranduil was in control.

She idly followed the parting of his shirt again with the tips of her fingers for a moment and then she moved from silk to flesh. Her hand explored some of his chest and it disappeared under the fabric, searching, until she found his nipple. Uncertain now of what to do, Idhreniel let her memories flood her. In the back of her mind she knew what he enjoyed; she just needed to remember. With her fingers she caressed the soft circle a little too roughly, and enraptured, she felt as it pebbled under her thumb. Thranduil’s lips were now partially open and a low groan escaped them. It was almost painful. His eyes left the sparks of the fire to stare at her. So dark, so secretive, and so full of desire. He placed his hand over hers, successfully stopping her movements. When he spoke, his voice was thick with want,

“I did not bring you here to seduce you.”

Idhreniel’s face remained solemn and she held his gaze. She retrieved her hand from underneath his and moved slightly so that she could fully untie his tunic. Thranduil let her do as she wished, although in his eyes she could still read his reservations. Moving from his shoulders to his ribcage and feeling the steely muscles under the silky skin, Idhreniel explored his chest, marveling at the strong sensations that the touch was creating in her. She wanted to be caressed the same way. She encircled his waist, bringing her body in contact with his. Thranduil didn’t refuse her, but accommodated himself in her arms. Her lips sought to taste him and she found a perfect spot, nibbling the soft skin right by his collarbone. She could feel his pulse racing and his scent become heavier, more distinct. She murmured against his neck,

“’Tis too late … you already have.”

Without saying one word, Thranduil brought his hand to her nape and tilted her head so that he could kiss her fully, deeply, drinking her. His tongue invaded her and she responded with the same passion, her hands cradling his face, her fingers entwining in the strands of silky hair. She was lost in the kiss and unconsciously her fingers searched until they found the defined points of his ears. Without thinking, she stroked them and Thranduil abruptly ended the kiss, separating himself from her. From the look of his face she knew that she had hurt him and that it had taken all of his might not to cry out. His hands were on his knees, formed into fists and Idhreniel gave him a moment before she placed her own hand on his shoulder. When she saw that he had calmed down, she asked as tactfully as she could,

“Have you taken another during my absence?”

Thranduil’s shoulders slumped and he covered his face with his hands. He shook his head and let his hands drop. Staring into her eyes, he answered,

“How could I? I could not even bear the thought of touching someone who was not you.”

Idhreniel moved to him and sat on his lap. She put her arm around his neck and said,

“I would have understood. Tell me then, how have you coped with all these years of loneliness?”

Thranduil’s eyes were again locked with hers and this time she saw something cold in them, the strong will that had kept him alive throughout this long time of loneliness.

“Discipline,” he said between gritted teeth.

With her free hand, Idhreniel softly caressed the side of his face. She kissed his cheek and then purred in his ear,

“Discipline?” She grazed the very tip very gently with her lips, as if trying to wipe away the pain she had caused him just a moment earlier. He shuddered under her touch and her voice took on a lower cadence when she finished, “I think you should kiss discipline farewell.”

Thranduil’s hand tightened against her hip and he searched blindly for her mouth to claim her again. Their lips met and hungrily surrendered to each other. Thranduil surprised her with his fight for dominance and she let him do as he wished, feeling the passion behind his every move. His mouth left hers with a gentle bite on her lower lip and traveled down her neck, until he was kissing the swell of her breasts, teasingly following the line of her dress, sometimes with his tongue, at others with his lips. Idhreniel was delighted when he bit her lightly, causing her to shudder in anticipation. She arched into him, searching for more, and Thranduil’s hand moved from her hip up the side of her body, leaving her breathless in his wake, until he had cupped her breast.

This time, it was Idhreniel’s turn to moan when his fingers expertly pinched her nipple and fondled the soft roundness, awakening her in such a way as she thought she would never be satisfied. Her whole body ached for him and she could feel that his yearned for her as well. She couldn’t help but cry out when Thranduil’s mouth covered her nipple through the silky fabric. The touch of his lips and teeth against such a sensitive area sent her reeling and she curled her fingers in his hair bringing him closer to her. Thranduil sucked harder, but then released her with a deep groan. He kissed her lips again before resting his forehead against hers.

“Idhreniel, I need to know …” he muttered.

Idhreniel moved from him and caressed his face with her hands. His face was flushed and his eyes so dark Idhreniel barely recognized them. His breathing was heavy and she could feel how much he desired to be one with her. She knew it had taken all of his will to stop and ask, and she loved him even more for that. She licked her lips, swollen and bruised from their kissing, and said,

“I am not afraid anymore. I want this, melethen … I want you.”

Thranduil didn’t ask anymore questions. He stood, cradling her in his arms like a delicate treasure, and walked without vacillation to the cottage.

*

Idhreniel rose from the bed and carefully, not wanting to make any noise, stepped outside the cottage. Their joining had been a strange mixture of pleasure and pain for both of them. Her body had been new in every sense, and the burning now between her legs and her aching muscles only helped confirm it. The inside of her legs was stained in blood and her step faltered. Thranduil had restrained himself to the verge of agony, not wishing to cause her any discomfort, but her breaching had been more painful than she had expected.

After the first awkward moments, the pleasure had eventually come, uniting them in hroa and fëa, communing the one with the other, sharing the very essence of their beings. The joy had been inexplicable. But the joining to Thranduil’s fëa had awoken many of her lost memories and Idhreniel had spent most of the night deeply lost in dreams of old. She didn’t understand it all and was uncertain of how to cope. Thranduil had held her during the whole process and his presence had strengthened her. Near dawn he had finally succumbed to fatigue after the experiences of the previous night. Now, she was on her own.

She stood by the riverside. She remembered Thranduil’s warnings the previous day. Do not get close to it. But the river called her. Her sapphire eyes fixed themselves on the clear waters. The world around her faded, time slowing down, taking her back to a particular day among her many yesterdays. She did not hear anymore the chirping of the birds welcoming the sunrise, she could not smell the dew in the air. But she could see a blond youth standing by the river. There was something wrong with him. His leg was broken and bound with a splint. Somehow she knew this had happened as he climbed trees. She would have smiled if it weren’t for the warning of danger in her heart.

The river changed. The lazy meadows became swollen with powerful currents. This scene had happened in early Spring. The time of the Thawing. She watched as the boy moved closer to the shore. Because of his broken leg, he was uneasily picking pebbles. She heard her own voice warning him,

“Aradol, step back!”

But it was too late. The river took him. Quicker than lightning the water had swallowed the elfling, threatening to bury him in a cold tomb. She did not think twice about it. She jumped in, searching for him. After some fumbling under the water she had him in her arms. His lips were blue from the frigid waters, but he was breathing. Her relief lasted briefly. A potent current enveloped her and her son, threatening to drown them both. They were taken away from the shore, but she was able to find a precarious hold on a rock. She heard a voice calling for her and she turned in its direction. Her eldest son was perched by on a nearby branch, extending his hand toward her,

“Mother! Reach!” He yelled.

“I cannot Legolas! I will lose Aradol! Find your Father! Go!”

Aradol’s arms were around her neck like a weighty chain. The iciness of the water whipped her legs and her arms. Her skirts were becoming heavier and heavier; the otherwise light material was soaked to the core with the water. Her hands slipped from the slimy rock and the currents took her again. They went under and it took all of Idhreniel’s strength to push them both to the surface. If only she could take her skirts off she would be able to fight the force of the water better. She tried fumbling with her dress, but she could do little with one hand. Then, the unexpected.

A sharp wave of pain on her back made her scream in agony. She heard the sickening snap in her lower back. The pain was so intense she thought she would lose consciousness. They had slammed against an outgrown limb that had made its way to the river and her back had received the full force of the impact. Idhreniel’s free hand grabbed the root, while her other arm still had a tight hold on Aradol. Part of the limb was high enough that she was able to keep their heads above the surface. They were now close to the shore, so close she could almost picture herself on safe ground, but at the same time it seemed like they were miles away. She concentrated on willing her body to rise above the waters, to master the elements raging around her, but her pain was too great and her fëa resented the broken state of her hroa.

Her son stared at her, fright clearly written in his wide blue eyes.

“Naneth,” he said shivering. “Are we going to die?”

“Not today,” she replied as she attempted to give her youngest a brave smile. “How is your leg?”

“Numb,” he said .

Above the roar of the river, she heard her husband’s voice coming from the side. He had been able to get close enough to them that they were at arm’s reach. Idhreniel moved so that Aradol could grab onto the root. The youth’s broken leg made it difficult, but finally he was able to grip the tree. Idhreniel helped Aradol to move closer to the shore, slowly making progress toward safe ground.

The root moved and Idhreniel mustered all of her strength to grab Aradol by his clothing, successfully bringing most of him out of the water, and then pushing him toward his father. Thranduil was barely able to snatch the youth from a sure fall and she shivered inside when she heard Aradol’s cry of pain when his leg resented. But Idhreniel didn’t have time to dwell on the consequences of her actions. The sharp movement had taken too much strength out of her and she lost her hold on the tree. She found herself being sucked back by the current again. At least she had been able to see that Aradol was safe in his father’s arms before she went under the surface.

The water swallowed her and she tried unsuccessfully to get a hold of any object she might find. The speed picked up and she was beginning to swallow more water than breathe air into her lungs. Her body was thrown against rocks and logs, breaking her bones and battering her muscles. Suddenly she felt something hit her hand and then grasp her. She felt herself be pulled out of the water and her eyes fought to open up when her head resurfaced. She took a big gulp of air into her lungs and when she was able to see, she stared directly at her husband, precariously perched on a thin branch right above her and gripping her wrist. His voice resonated full of desperation throughout the ravine,

“Ulmo lasto beth nín! Sîdho in nin! [Ulmo listen to my voice! Appease the waters!]”

Idhreniel tried to hold onto him, but her fingers were raw and slick. Thranduil felt her grasp slipping and yelled,

“Do not let go!”

Idhreniel felt the tears come to her eyes and asked of her husband her very last wish,

“Thranduil you must promise me! Promise me you will not follow me! Our sons will need you!”

Thranduil tried to pull her up but the water was thrashing her like a rag doll. Thranduil’s next words were tinted with fear,

“I am not going to let you die! Reach with your other hand!”

Idhreniel found herself with no strength left. She felt the salty taste of blood in her mouth. Barely loud enough to be heard above the raging sound of the water, she said,

“Thranduil, my body is broken … I can do no more … I beg of you, promise me before I go …”

“I promise! Now reach!”

Idhreniel stared at him. She could see in his eyes that he knew it would not happen. They both knew that even if she survived the waters her body was too battered to live much longer. She heard his plea clearly in her mind,

‘Idhreniel, do not leave me, please …’

She tried one last time, but the force of the river was too much for her worn out body. She felt her cold fingers slowly slipping from Thranduil’s grasp. She prayed that she would be able to hold on, so that at least she would take her last breath in her husband’s arms. She tried with all of her being, but it was in vain. Her wedding ring slid out of her index finger into Thranduil’s hand. She lost her hold and she heard her husband’s bellow when the river snatched her from him. He yelled her name over and over until his voice drowned in the roar of the river.

The currents battered her body even more. She tried to fight the wild waters, but she could not do it anymore. She was exhausted. Her last thoughts were of her husband and children. The water claimed her and the Sun blurred under the clear surface. The currents enveloped her in a cold kiss, and the world faded into darkness. The last thing she saw where the hazy shapes of her beloved trees. Then she was no more.

*

She was shivering, screaming, crying. She had died saving her son, her youngest. Relief spread throughout her body. Her death had not been in vain after all. When Thranduil had told her an accident had occurred, she had thought that it had been a foolish mistake on her part that had brought all the misery her family had suffered. It had not been so.

Slowly she began to feel again. The pure morning air caressed her unclothed body and her sobs subsided. She became aware of a presence right behind her. Amongst tears, she turned to see Thranduil’s shape outlined against the rising Sun. He took a step toward her and kneeled by her side. In a barely controlled voice, he said,

“We never found your body.” There was a long pause and she stared into his eyes, seeing how they misted. His control slipped over and shakily he continued, “but I knew … I knew the exact moment when you took your last breath …”

She framed his face with her hands and then embraced him tightly against her. It was the only thing she could do. She felt his tears wetting her neck and she realized that the walls left between them had at last crumbled down.

“I am so sorry I left you … so sorry you have suffered all these years,” she sobbed into his ear.

“You did the right thing, melethen [my love]. Never doubt it.”

*

Idhreniel sat alone in the spacious room. After spending most of their summer in the cottage, they had traveled to Ithilien and had arrived that same morning. The day had been a whirlwind. She had met Lothelad, Aradol’s wife, and their twins. The thought of being a grandmother brought a smile to her face. There was so much she had missed, but at the same time, she knew she had much to live for.

Her eyes took in every detail of the talan. Thranduil had told her that Legolas had built it for his wife. One of the biggest disappointments she had suffered had been that her eldest son was gone. But being here, in the midst of something he had built with his own hands, made her feel as if she was in his presence. Aradol and Lothelad lived there now, caring for Ithilien the same way Legolas had.

Aradol was gone on a hunting trip and was due to arrive anytime now. Idhreniel had asked everyone to allow her to see her son alone. She felt that he deserved this encounter, having patiently waited for over a year to see her after her return. She hadn’t understood Thranduil’s reasons for keeping her away from her youngest all this time, but after unlocking the circumstances of her death she had at last comprehended her husband’s worries.

Her hands laid flat on the wooden table and Idhreniel stared at them. There were three rings, all given to her by Thranduil, but the one she cherished the most was the simplest of them all. A thin band of gold around her index finger: the wedding ring with which Thranduil had officially made her his wife ages ago. He had carried it all these years inside the locket that hung from his neck, right above his heart. He had given it to her by the riverside, explaining how it had miraculously stayed in his hand after he had lost her to the force of the currents. He had wondered if she would want to have another ring made, but Idhreniel would not hear of it. This one was perfect.

Idhreniel’s musings were interrupted when she heard voices and laughter at the base of the tree. Her ears strained to try and catch fragments of the conversation. She needn’t wait long. A clear voice reached her ears and she smiled widely,

“Lothelad, my love! Your husband is back! Beware, for I am hungry and more!”

There was a thump right outside the front door and Idhreniel rose from her chair. The door opened with a loud slam. A tall elf stood at the entrance, dressed in hunting gear and with a bow and quiver still strapped to his back. His resemblance to Legolas was clear to see, Idhreniel thought to herself. His deep blue eyes fell on her and he simply looked at her, caught between rapture and astonishment. Idhreniel exclaimed,

“My … Aradol … how you have grown! I never thought you had it in you to become so tall!”

The bewilderment of his semblance crumbled, and she saw his eyes glimmer with tears. He dropped his bags at the threshold and, in long steps, he walked to his mother. In an instant he was enveloped in her arms and, much to his own dismay, he was crying like a child. They stayed for a long time embracing, simply enjoying the sweet moment of their reunion. When Aradol found himself in control of his voice again, he said the words he had longed to tell her since the day he knew she had been reborn.

“Hannon le, Naneth. Annach nin guil lui dâd. [Thank you, Mother. You have given me life twice].”


THE END

*

I do hope that you enjoyed reading "Rebirth". Thanks for all your support. Until next time.

Thuriniel