Taken Away

As Tetsu and Keiji both jumped out of the car, Akira ran out from inside the hospital. Keiji turned his keys over to the hospital’s valet service; Tetsu ran to his 15-year-old son and grabbed him up in his arms. It was at this moment that Akira finally broke down. He clutched at his dad’s suit jacket, crying as if his heart was broken. And it was.

Tetsu didn’t need to know why his normally level-headed, somewhat stoic, son was falling to pieces in his arms. He didn’t need to know. He didn’t want to know. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. He raised his head to look at Keiji, who was rubbing tears from his eyes.

“Papa…” he heard his son’s watery voice, sounding small, just like Kaoru’s earlier.

“Wait,” he said quietly. “Where did they take him?”

Akira sniffled and slowly peeled himself away from his dad. Tetsu held his son’s hand, who, for once, didn’t protest, or tell him he was too old for such things. His stubborn son, who now clutched his hand tightly like he did when he was a child. His beautiful baby boy, whose twin brother was likely pacing their home, waiting for them to come home.

They walked through the waiting area and down the hallway to the emergency room. One of the nurses at the desk looked up and recognized Akira. She immediately looked sympathetic, knowing the boy hadn’t cried until the two men with him showed up. She stood up and came around the desk, a clipboard in her hands.

“This is my dad,” Akira said quietly, introducing Tetsu to her. She nodded at him and bowed politely. Akira turned and gestured at Keiji. “He’s my uncle.” The nurse repeated her greeting.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot to ask but…” she started to say, the clipboard in her hands extended toward Tetsu. He took it, but didn’t look at it.

“Take me to him,” he interrupted. “I need to see him.”

“Certainly,” she replied, turning and walking to a nearby room. She turned back to face him at the door. “I’m so sorry,” she said again, leaving them at the closed door.

For the longest time, maybe forever, they stood at that door, unable to go inside. They all knew what they’d find, as much as they wanted to deny it. Tetsu felt his son wrap his arms around him, and he hugged his boy to him. Keiji laid his hand on Tetsu’s shoulder, grasping tight.

“Do you mind if I go in alone?” he managed to ask around the lump in his throat.

“No. We’ll wait for you in the waiting room,” Keiji answered, gently taking Akira’s hand.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, son?” When he didn’t respond, Tetsu looked down at his son, his face a mirror of pain and anguish. He bent and kissed Akira on his head. “Go with your uncle. Wait for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

Keiji went with Akira, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders, talking gently and just being the pillar of support he’s always been. He almost wished he could have kept Keiji with him, but his son needed him more. Right now, he had to see Kei.

Gathering his courage, his strength, and anything else he could possibly gather to bolster himself, he pushed the door handle and the door eased open. The room was dark; there was no need for light. What light there was, filtered in through the blinds, illuminating the bed Kei was in with lines of fading sunlight.

He set the clipboard down on the chair next to the door, and took a few more steps closer to the bed. His eyes settled on Kei’s feet; he was wearing his favorite pair of scarlet-colored, beat up, high top sneakers. Letting his eyes drift upward, he took in the stone-washed jeans (the dirt scuffs where Kei must’ve hit the ground first), his faded green Sendai Frogs jersey (Kei always hated having to quit playing), and… Tetsu’s old Nekoma VBC jacket.

“Oh god,” he whispered, his hand flying up to his mouth. Kei always had a habit of wearing whatever came to hand, and most of the time, there was always something of Tetsu’s on him. Today, it was his old high school jacket.

With what felt like Herculean strength, he looked at Kei’s face. It was beautiful in it’s stillness. Eyes shut, mouth slightly open. To be perfectly honest, it looked like Kei was just sleeping, his breath flowing evenly in and out. Like he was sleeping peacefully for once in a long while.

There were a lot of words fighting to come out, none of which he wanted to really say. He knew whatever happened was an accident; but he wanted to rail at Kei, at the world, for whatever circumstances took him away. He wanted to scream about how unfair it was that Kei was gone first, and not him. About how they were supposed to grow old and feeble together, surrounded by their ever expanding family. Above all, he wanted to blame himself for not being there for his beloved husband. If he had, they might not be here at all. Kei would be home getting dinner ready…

Without realizing it, he’d moved to the bed, tears streaming uncontrollably, and he climbed in beside Kei. Mindless with the grief that finally hit him, he wrapped an arm around his husband, buried his face in his neck, and tried not to think about not hearing his heartbeat. Tried not to think about the cool, lifeless skin. Tried not to think about how he wasn’t breathing, and would never take another breath.

~*~*~

Later, they sat together in the waiting area. Akira had fallen into an exhausted sleep, and was curled up against his Uncle Keiji. Tetsu was still filling out the paperwork the nurse had given him earlier, but kept having to stop. This was still so unreal. He should not have to be filling in answers about Kei’s last wishes. Dammit! Kei had only just turned 35-years-old! They only just finished celebrating their 16th wedding anniversary. This wasn’t supposed to be happening!

“Throw it,” Keiji’s calm voice told him.

“What?”

“The clipboard. Throw it.”

“Why?”

“Less chance of it breaking. You’ve nearly bent it to its breaking point, anyway.”

“It’d only be one more thing broken today, anyway,” Tetsu said, relaxing his grip on the offending clipboard. “Besides, they might not like it if I threw their property.”

Keiji snorted. “I doubt it. They know why you’re here. Also, I’m fairly sure you wouldn’t be the first to throw anything here. Or the last.”

They spent another several minutes in silence as Tetsu filled in more blanks. The page blurred, and he finally tossed the clipboard away.

“I’m never going to finish that.”

“If you want, I can do it for you. We just have to be careful and not wake up Akira.”

“Done.” He gently took his son from Keiji, careful not to wake him. His brother took the clipboard and started writing.

“Akira told me what happened. At least, what they know.” Keiji looked up at Tetsu. “Are you ready to listen?”

“As if I’ll ever be ready,” Tetsu replied sadly. “Have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.”

Keiji shrugged. “You’ll understand when I tell you.”

Tetsu sighed and held his son tighter. “Go for it.”

“Kei went out to walk the dogs. That was what a neighbor told Akira when the ambulance arrived. They saw Kei and waved, but didn’t see anything after. I guess between that time, and when the kids found him, Kei had an attack.”

Tetsu felt his heart skip a beat, and the blood rush from his face. “The kids found him?”

Keiji nodded. “They waited for Megumi’s bus. She raced them home, like always. She found him first, in the front yard.”

“Oh god.” That explained why he heard her screaming when Kaoru called. He sat up and held Akira a little tighter. “We need to get home.”

“I agree. Once we’re done here, we’ll go. But Tetsu, let me finish.”

Tetsu nodded.

“They found his inhaler. It was empty. Since we all carry an extra for emergencies like this one, she grabbed hers and tried to give him his medicine….”

“But he was already gone by then.”

“Yeah,” Keiji agreed softly. “Akira called for an ambulance. Juni took care of Megumi. Kaoru called us and you….”

“And Chika?”

“Finished making the dinner that Kei had prepped before walking the dogs.”

Tetsu scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. He looked down at Akira, who was awake and listening to them, tears running silently down his face. He was lost for words. How did you try to comfort the children who found their father and uncle dead in the front yard?