The Cat and the Crow

“First, let me apologize, again, for interrupting anything, and for the short notice. I’m really sorry for that. I only just figured out what’s going on, and decided to call for backup.” Tetsuro started talking once everyone was ready. “Several of you may have already guessed what’s up, but I need to get those who don’t know on the same page.”

“Fair enough,” Daichi said, clearly the Karasuno spokesman (for now), since no one else from the team spoke up.

“It’s Kenma,” he said, sighing and running his hand through his hair. “He’s running another one of his experiments.”

“I KNEW IT!” Both Bokuto and Yaku suddenly exclaimed. “Dammit, Kuroo, if you even try to defend him this time…” Yaku added vehemently.

He sighed again. “I’m not. Because this time, he’s not only using me, but also Kei.”

“Me? Why? I don’t understand,” Kei said, looking as confused as Hinata.

“Wait… what? Experiments?” Hinata asked. Tetsuro knew that Hinata and Kenma had hit it off as friends, so this was going to hit him hard.

“Let me explain, Chibi-chan,” he said gently. “I’m sure you’re all aware that Kenma and I have been friends since we were kids. Next door neighbors, went to the same school, always in the same classes, and for years, always inseparable. You get the idea. What some of you don’t know is that Kenma runs these ‘experiments’ on people, and by people I mean it was mostly me as his ‘test subject.’”

“Oh my god,” both Suga and Tadashi said.

“Kenma has alway been… less emotional than others, I guess you could say. His emotions run differently than most. The stronger emotions are easier to understand for him, but the softer ones, especially love, seem to escape him. Because he doesn’t understand them, he gets curious about how they work, and thus, his experiments. I didn’t always catch on, but when I did, I would ask him to stop. He’d lay low for a while, then try again, but sneakier.”

“When was the last experiment?” Daichi asked.

“Two years ago. It actually led to our break up,” he admitted, looking at Kei as he said it. His love didn’t look terribly surprised, so Tetsuro guessed he’d figured out that much already.

“And now he’s started another one?” Daichi asked again.

“Right. I haven’t been able to work out why.”

Yaku had double facepalmed, Kai closed his eyes tight and shook his head slowly. Bokuto looked ready to do murder. Akaashi simply waited, but his eyes agreed with Bokuto.

“You’ve all, undoubtedly, seen everything he’s posted to his social media accounts. He made sure to tag both Kei and myself, so he’s cast a large net, but I’m not sure he knows how large it actually is, or that many people know what he’s doing. Either way, to answer one of the most pertinent questions: the ‘roommates’ thing was an actual plan, but after our breakup, it turned into a joke. He knows it won’t happen, but he tries to joke about it just to get a reaction.”

“What about making it look like you’re a couple again?” Kai asked, finally entering the conversation.

“I can only assume he wants to make Kei jealous.”

“Any idea why?”

“No.”

“Is he jealous?” Tadashi asked, defensively. “I mean, it would all make some kind of sick sense if he were.”

“Calm down, Tadashi,” Kei said quietly.

“How can you be so calm, Tsuki? He’s using you…”

“Clearly. But I don’t know Kenma that much at all. Neither do you, or Daichi, or even Suga. The exception among us being Hinata.”

Tetsuro looked at Hinata, who had so many emotions on his face: confusion, worry, and sadness. But, there was also a calm sense of thoughtfulness about him, as well as a tiny bit of hope. Chibi-chan truly had a gift when it came to interacting with people of all sorts, and that’s what Tetsuro needed from their little ray of sunshine.

“Okay, guys, we need to get back on track,” Suga interrupted sternly. Tetsuro nearly laughed, and noticed Kei was trying not to as well. When mom spoke sternly, everyone snapped to attention. Even Daichi. “I want to know why he seems to be staying with you all the time. Quite a few of those pictures were home-based.”

“Force of habit, I suppose,” Tetsuro answered reluctantly. He took a breath and let it go. “During our friendship, I had grown used to being around him. I’d go over to his house, or vice versa. It wasn’t unusual for us to just walk right in and join in whatever our families were doing. Later on, it wasn’t as frequent, and eventually, it just turned into something we did when being alone wasn’t an option, when all we needed was someone else in the house. We barely even interacted, but it was nice to know someone was there. You know?”

“And so that’s why he’s been over your house lately?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to be alone, and the person I really wanted to be with had to leave. So, I fell back on the old habit.” After he’d said that, he rushed to keep Kei from apologizing. “Don’t. You. Dare. If you even think about blaming yourself…”

“But..”

“NO BUTS!!” The entire group hollered over him.

“If you have to blame someone, start with Kenma,” Yaku said. “He’s the core reason for any of this happening right now. None of us saw it coming, either.”

“That little… I’m going to…”

“Bokuto, calm down. You aren’t going to murder him. I won’t let you,” Akaashi said.

“Yeah, neither are you, even though we all know you’d get away with it,” Tetsuro told Akaashi.

“I still don’t know why this is even happening.”

“I wish I could tell you, Chibi-chan. But unless Kenma talks, none of us will know why.”

“So, now that we’re all on the same page, for the most part, what do you need us to do, Kuroo?” Daichi asked.

“Has anyone ever mentioned that you and Suga act like parents?” Kai observed, out of the blue.

Everyone on team Karasuno, and Tetsuro, burst out laughing. The rest looked, well, bamboozled.

“Yes. Frequently. In fact, I’m Dadchi, and he's Sugamom. And now, it seems we’ve expanded our family to include a few more cats and a couple owls,” Daichi said ironically.

“It’s not a family. It's a zoo,” Yaku added.

“Birds outnumber the felines. It’s an aviary, really,” Akaashi deadpanned.

“Way to derail the conversation, Kai.”

“Yeah, well… we needed it.”

“Good point,” Suga said, smiling. “However, the question still remains. What do you need us to do?”

“First thing is, we can’t let on that we’re on to him. It looks like this is going to be a social media based experiment, so we’ll need to react on that front. We also need to keep this between us as much as possible.”

“Sounds like you are trying to protect everyone. Including Kenma,” Yaku said suspiciously.

“If it really is just his curiosity causing all of this, then he doesn’t deserve to be completely ostracized.”

“Still going to be his friend after this is over?”

Kei instantly spoke up. “That isn’t a spur-of-the-moment kind of decision.”

Everyone went quiet in unspoken agreement.

“I’m more looking out for him in terms of how our teams will function going forward. No one, outside of this group, needs to know anything. And none of us can go after him, either. He’s very cunning, and if he even gets a whiff that we’re on to him, he’ll change up his game plan, and we might not be able to stop him then,” Tetsuro explained to break the silence. “And we need to stop him before any more damage is done.”

“What do you need us to do?” Daichi asked again.

“Act as if his plan to make Kei jealous is working.”

“Okay, so how is that going to work? And once he thinks he’s succeeded, what do we do?” Kei asked.

“That’s another reason why I called everyone here. I actually haven’t thought that far ahead in terms of the rest of us,” Tetsuro admitted. “I do have specific plans in mind for Kei and Hinata, though.”

“Us? Why?” Hinata asked.

“Kei is the main target, not me. I’m collateral damage. Kenma’s focus will mostly be on him. As for you, Chibi-chan, I think you’ll need to be his voice of reason.” When it looked like everyone was going to react to that, he spoke over them. “Since our teams first met, Hinata has fascinated Kenma, and not in a bad way. He likes you, Chibi-chan, and I think he’ll listen to you more than anyone else.

“Here’s what I have in mind: Kei, if he sends another round of pictures or starts a twitter thread, I want you to block me on all accounts. We need to make it look like you are jealous enough to break up with me. Do whatever you think you need to alert him. Make a scene, or go quietly. Just block me, okay?” Kei looked like that was the last thing he wanted to do, but he nodded his agreement. “I’ll keep in touch, so don’t worry. It just won’t be as often.

“Hinata, I’ll let you know when it’s your turn. The only thing I have to insist on is complete secrecy. You can’t let on that you know anything about this meeting, okay?”

“I understood that the first time you said it,” Hinata said calmly. “I’m just not sure how I’m going to be the voice of reason for him.”

“Just be you, Chibi-chan,” Tetsuro reassured him. “You have an amazing gift to be friends with everyone you meet. I need you to be Kenma’s friend. He’ll need one.”

“Okay,” Hinata finally agreed.

“The rest of us will just run interference, I guess,” Kai said after that.

“Yeah, something like damage control. If you’re asked directly about what’s going on, just tell them we’re working it out. It’s going to be a huge hassle, and dramatic to say the least.”

“Epic understatement,” Bokuto and Akaashi said at the same time.

“True, though,” Tetsuro said. “I think we can handle this, right?”

“Right!”

“Thanks, guys. It means a lot that you’re helping.”

“We got your backs,” Daichi said, and everyone agreed. “See you at Nationals, Kuroo. And the rest of you, too.”

“Good save, Dadchi,” Tetsuro laughed. “See you there.”

Everyone left after that. Everyone, except for Kei.