The Cat and the Crow

Later that evening, Kei posted his last response to Kenma’s latest barrage of pictures, and told everyone reading that he was blocking Kuroo. Indefinitely. He’d been both hot- and cold-blooded in his answers, so much so that someone would private message him and ask if he were actually serious. Depending on who it was, he’d either reassure them that he was doing his part, or just make one worded answers to fend off curiosity seekers. He didn’t want to take any chances and give anything away. To be on the safe side, he took several screenshots, and blocked and reported Kenma.

Closing his laptop, he laid down on his bed, and played with his phone. He’d kept it close so that he’d feel it vibrate when Tetsuro called or texted. Lately, he’d had to lie low because of the mess Kenma created, so they’d both stopped the nightly calls and texts. The worst part of it all was that he was so used to talking to Tetsuro each night that he couldn’t remember how he’d managed before they’d met.

Unable to get comfortable, Kei sat up and got out of bed. He went to the kitchen and got something cold to drink, taking it outside with him to the porch. He sat down, and looked up at the half-moon. Was Tetsuro okay? Did he see everything he’d posted? He hoped he was believable enough. But… was he too believable?

He brought his legs up and crossed his arms over his knees, resting his head on his arms. This was so stupid! He hated this. He hated having to do any of it. He understood the reason why, but he could have stayed out of it, couldn’t he? Well, no, he really couldn’t have, considering Kenma had specifically tagged him in everything he posted.

He needed to move around. Maybe that would tire him out. He’d just stood up to pace around the backyard when his phone buzzed. Two notifications hit at the same time, and he tapped on Tetsuro’s first.

[Sorry, can’t really talk, but I love you]
[I love you too]
[It’ll be over soon]
[I hope so]
[You’ve done your part, so you can sit back and let us handle the rest, okay?]
[Okay. Tetsu?]
[Yeah?]
[I hate this]
[...]
[Give me a few minutes. I’m going to call you]
[Is Kenma there?]
[Yeah, but I’ll come up with something]
[Are you sure you should?]
[I don’t care. I’m going to call you, just give me a few minutes]
[Okay]

While he waited, he tapped on the second message. It was from Tadashi.

[If you need to talk, you can call me]
[Thanks. Tetsu’s going to call shortly]
[Are you sure it’s okay]
[No, but he’s determined… and I need to hear his voice]
[Understood. We’ll catch up later]
[Yeah. Thanks again, Tadashi]
[You’re welcome]

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed with the expected incoming call. Tetsuro hadn’t yet spoken, but then he was out of breath.

“What did you do, run?”

“Yeah. To the park.”

“Like that wasn’t conspicuous at all.”

“I got lucky. Kenma left before I did. I just snuck out the back and ran a different way.” He took several deep breaths, and then spoke again. “I hate this, too, you know. I had to remind myself that it was all an act when I read some of your responses.”

“I was hoping to avoid that, and still be believable enough to pass muster.”

“Have you seen anything since?”

“No. I just shut everything down.” Kei let out a huff. “I’m just so over it, Tetsu. It shouldn’t be this hard. I hate having to act like I’m jealous and mad at you. And… I really just wish you were here.”

“Oh, god… Kei. Do you know how much I wish I could be with you right now?”

“Being apart sucks.”

“Tell me about it. Makes you wonder how we managed it before.”

Kei was about to say something, but then a thought occurred.

“Wait… Tetsu…”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“You want the show quote, or a serious answer?”

Tetsuro laughed. “The serious one. I want to know if you thought the same thing I just did.”

“The real test isn’t just to make me jealous…”

“The real test is also endurance. To see how long we can stand being apart.”

“Make me jealous enough to sever communication and then wait to see if being miles apart would have a greater impact?”

“That’s what it feels like.”

“But we’ve been apart before.”

“Right. But if you think about it, it really hasn’t been longer than a few weeks. Not since the first practice match when we visited you. Recently, though, it’s been harder and harder being apart, and that might be what Kenma is testing us on.” There was a long pause. “I hate to say it, but I have to get back.”

“Okay. When will I hear from you again?”

“I’ll try again tomorrow night. If I have to sneak out of the house to talk to you, I’ll do it. As often as I can.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Neither of them hung up. Both of them started to laugh.

“Is this going to turn into a game? Whoever hangs up first loses?”

“If that’s the game, then I won’t lose.”

“Neither will I.”

Again, they waited for the other to hang up. Again, they both ended up laughing.

Then, Kei heard the sound of walking.

“What are you doing?”

“Walking home. I’ll hang up when I hit my block.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“HA! I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[Secret Weapon; Code Name: Tangerine]

[Okay, Chibi-chan, it's all you, now]
[Right.]
[This would work so much better if it were in person]
[You’re not wrong, Akaashi. But we don’t really have the time to get Chibi-chan down here and back without him missing practices]
[So I’ll need to do it online?]
[Yeah. Sorry, Hinata]
[It’s fine. You need my help, so here I am]
[Thank you, Chibi-chan]
[No problem]
[So, start by replying to one of his Twitter threads. Try to keep it public, but if he goes to private chat, we want screenshots]
[Do I need to say anything in particular?]
[No. You do you. I’m sure you have enough questions as it is]
[Wait. You haven’t replied to him yet, have you? On any of his previous posts?]
[No. Well, maybe an emoji react or two, but nothing other than that.]
[Okay. If he’s keeping track, you may have a bit of work to do so that he doesn’t think you’ve been keeping up. Make sense?]
[Yep. Got it. When do you want me to start?]
[Anytime. Up to you.]
[Alrighty, then. Ttyl]
[Ttyl]

Tetsuro smiled as he put his phone in sleep mode, then set it down on his desk. He’d made himself comfortable on his bed, laptop on and the Twitter website loaded, waiting for Hinata to do his thing. Kenma hadn’t yet come over, and he could only hope Chibi-chan would start before he did. Dinner was all but forgotten; he wasn’t really hungry anyway.

While he waited, he brought up Kei’s video playlist and watched it again. He’d lost count of how often he’d watched it. Of course, he’d also uploaded the video Bokuto had shot on his birthday, and watched that, too. There were a lot of pictures taken that weekend, and Kei had those, plus the video. Tetsuro couldn’t wait to see the playlist Kei would make of that.

Around ten minutes later, his phone buzzed at the same time his Twitter page refreshed. While he’d been distracted, Kenma had dumped another set of pictures, and none of them were good. In fact, if he hadn’t told anyone anything, least of all Kei, then he’d certainly be in deep trouble.

“What in the actual fu…!”

He grabbed his phone, which had been constantly vibrating while he’d been in shock. Quickly, he swiped the lockscreen and tapped the notification.

[I’M GOING TO KICK HIS SCRAWNY ASS!!]
[Get in line, Bokuto. Teammates get first dibs]
[WELL, YOU ARE ROUGHLY THE SAME SIZE, YAKU. YOU COULD PROBABLY DO MORE DAMAGE]
[Did you just…]
[Both of you need to back up. We don’t need to fight each other]
[SORRY AKAASHI]
[Is there a sharpshooter among us?]
[Suga, your bloodthirsty side is showing, might want to tuck it back in]
[You’re going to tell me you haven’t thought of it too, Daichi?]
[No. I was actually thinking of something much slower and more painful]
[What? Live, clinical dissection?]
[OMG, KAI!]
[Botulinum toxin]
[Tadashi? Not you too!]
[He’s gone too far this time.]
[To summarize: we have Bokuto and Yaku ready to kick his ass, Suga’s looking for a sniper, Daichi and Kai opting for organ removal without anesthetics, and Tadashi whipping out a vial of the world’s deadliest poison. Have I got that correct?]
[Keeping score, Akaashi?]
[Someone has to]
[Wait. How does Tadashi even know about botulinum toxin?]
[MOST IMPORTANTLY, HOW WOULD WE EVEN GET A HOLD OF SOME?]

“Good grief. They’re crawling all over each other to get to Kenma, and I can’t find it in my heart to stop them,” Tetsuro muttered. He put his phone down for a minute, scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair, and looked at a newly refreshed page.

“Chibi-chan, you’re an angel.”

Relief flooded him as he read the replies that were inundating Kenma’s thread, including Daichi tagging both him and Kei. The latest and last one was a single, innocent, question:

{{Kenma… What are you doing?}}