Does One Kiss Change Everything?

CHAPTER FOUR

Lips against lips. A gentle exploration that soon moved into more passionate territory. The scent of him, the taste, she tried to commit it to memory, tried to remind herself that but a few short weeks ago, these kisses were all that she needed from him, that they were enough. Hands over hard flesh, feeling, caressing but lacking the fluidity of instinct. She prayed he didn’t notice that she was forcing the illusion of pleasure when all she could feel was this… emptiness.

~~~~~

Dinner had gone great with Ollie making reservations for them at an expensive restaurant which required use of her good pantyhose. As always, Ollie was charming, funny and everything a rich, millionaire CEO should be and shouldn’t. He was an anomaly she didn’t understand and Lois supposed that was why she was still here, because to a degree he intrigued her.

Oliver Queen could have turned out like Lex Luthor. If anything, he had better excuse for it but Ollie had somehow managed to hold on to himself, to be aware that there was a world out there that wasn’t so fortunate even if he could be a bit blasé about it.

Following dinner they had made their way back to his penthouse suite where for the first time, Lois didn’t think about staying the night. As they fell into familiar patterns of seduction, Lois felt constricted and needing to escape. She knew what lay at the core of this but trying to explain that to Ollie was impossible. How could she tell him that the Green Arrow had sparked something in her that made his kisses pale in comparison?

Not only was it ridiculous it was also embarrassing since she had been shouting the loudest for the vigilante’s head. There were times when Lois truly believed she was paying karma at a vastly accelerated level.

And now she was here, feeling him touch her, feeling his lips on her neck, her fingers clutching at his muscled back, sensing that he was ready to move to the next level and she…she just couldn’t.

~~~~~~~

Oliver was no fool.

He had been sensing something for quite some time now but had not been able to put his finger on when exactly it was he had lost her. And he knew he had lost her. Tonight, the sensuality of their earlier sessions was gone. He felt her hesitation and that was enough for him. No wasn’t a word that had to be said for Ollie Queen to know when to stop, just the idea of it sufficed. He cared for Lois too much to force her into a situation she would undoubtedly go through out of sheer stubbornness.

Slightly hurt, he pulled away at last and sat up straight on the leather sofa, his eyes drinking in the crown of dark hair splayed against the fabric and how deliciously beautiful she looked with her smudged lipstick and rumpled dress.

“This isn’t working for you is it?” He met her gaze with a sad smile.

Lois closed her eyes, unable to look at him upon hearing his question and supposed that was his answer.

“I’m sorry Ollie,” she sat up after a moment and ran her fingers through her hair. “I don’t know what it is,” she fixed her gaze upon him, allowing a rare vulnerability to show itself. She owed him that.

“It just doesn’t feel right.” Her face showed her anguish, her despair because she wanted to love him, she truly did but everything inside Lois Lane told her that she wasn’t for him.

“I guess maybe there is a little sugar and spice in there after all,” Ollie said quietly, reaching for her chin and rubbing a thumb across it tenderly. “Its okay,” he stood up and walked away from her. “I’ll survive. I’ve always been the one giving these kinds of talks. I supposed it was just balancing the karma gods that it was my turn.”

“Ollie…” Lois started to speak.

“Lois, don’t,” he said stopping her with a pleading look. “Let me get out of this with some dignity okay? I’ll have the car take you home.”

For once, Lois didn’t argue with him.

*************

Someone was in the house.

Clark Kent sat up in his bed and glanced at the clock. It was past midnight and he knew his mother was staying over night in Metropolis. Climbing out from under the covers, Clark grabbed a t-shirt as he scanned the floor boards to see who had intruded his home at this hour. To his surprise, Clark saw that it was Lois. Puzzled as well as concerned at what would bring her here at this hour, he left his room and descended the stairs to the living room downstairs.

Lois was lying on the sofa, almost in fetal position. Her heels lay on the rug and still dressed in the black cocktail dressed she had gone to dinner in, Lois wasn't asleep nor did she move when she heard his approach.

“Lois?” Clark asked immediately, something striking him about the way she looked. Fragile almost. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry Smallville,” she made no attempt to sit up even when he brought the lights on. “I just didn’t feel like going to my place tonight and this,” her hazel eyes swept across the room, “always felt like home.’

“You know you’re welcome here,” he said kindly and lowered himself into the arm chair across her, his concern mounting. What had happened to her? Clark was unaccustomed to seeing her like this, vulnerable and exposed. It alarmed him. “What’s happened?”

“Nothing,” she sighed, wiping her eyes of the tears she had shed not too long ago. “I just needed to be here for awhile.” In truth, she had hoped Martha would be around and supposed it was a testament to her state of mind that she didn’t remember that the Senator was away this evening. Martha had a way of making these things better, the way her mother used to when she was a little girl and sometimes, even Lois Lane needed that.

“Lois?” Clark looked at her, his eyes showing her that he knew it was more than that. “Talk to me, please?”

“Its not a big deal Smallville,” she sat up. “I just broke up with Oliver.”

Silence.

Clark didn’t trust himself to speak. So much for not having to cross that bridge for awhile, he told himself. Moving next to her, he reached over and put her arm across her shoulder, intending to pull her in for a hug because she did look like she needed one at present. It was meant to be perfectly innocent, like a big brother comforting his sister after a bad breakup, just before he tore the guy a new one that is.

“I keep thinking I just hurt this great guy because of something I don’t even understand,” Lois complained, feeling fresh tears. “I mean Jeez Clark, why do I always have to screw it up by being so damn picky?”

“Lois…” Clark tried to be understanding and impartial but it was impossible and he knew it. Even now, he was thinking how well she fit next to him, how her head against his shoulder felt like the most natural thing in the world. He was resisting the urge to lean down and smell her hair. The girl was in a state and all he could think about what how he felt, to say nothing of the fact that other wounded party in this was his friend, Oliver.

He was going to the special hell alright.

“Lois there are some things in this life where second best just isn’t good enough,” he found himself saying. Inevitably, he thought of Lana and his love for her. Or was it the idea of her that he liked so much, rather than the girl herself? He had always been drawn to women who shared some common ground with him. Alicia because she was special like him, Raya because she was from Krypton. Did Lana fall into that category?

Lately Clark didn’t know anymore.

“But that’s just it Clark,” she said holding onto him, not looking up as fresh tears came. “It wasn’t second best before that kiss. I liked Ollie, I liked him a lot. How did things change that fast?”

“I don’t’ know Lois,” he answered, taking to brushing her hair with a thumb the way one would soothe an uneasy race horse. Liar, the inner voice inside him accused. “But you did the right thing.”

“I did?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You stepped away before you hurt him even worse by lying to him about feelings you don’t have. Trust me Lois,” Clark said looking down at her. “In the long run, this was better than letting him go on thinking you two had a chance.”

Clark thought about Lana and wondered if it would have made any difference if he had heeded the same advice. It seemed a moot point but it was one of those persistent memories that returned on occasion to remind you just much you screwed up. Still, holding on to Lois now, Clark couldn’t deny that in a way he was glad that it was finished with Lana.

At least they both knew where they stood.

He felt her cheek cant up and down, an indication that she was nodding in agreement. More than anything Clark wished his father was still her with them because right about now, Clark could have surely used the man’s guidance.

Lois didn’t say anything further, content to merely stay where she was, snuggled against his shoulder, taking the comfort he offered. After awhile, Clark heard the gentle tremor against his chest as she felt asleep. A small smile quirked his lips when he noted she was snoring a little.

Quietly, he picked her up and if but for one stirring, Lois remained asleep as Clark placed her under the covers of his bed, pulling the sheets over her shoulders as he watched her sleep for a moment.

So much work, he told himself not for the first time. However as he looked down on her right now, Clark knew it was worth it.