Taken Away

The ride home was nothing short of hell. Tetsu was constantly having to remind himself that they weren’t leaving Kei behind, even if it felt like it. Akira had even gone into a panic, asking Keiji to turn around several times to go back and get his dad. Keiji had to pull over so they could both calm him down, and then they stayed there because everyone was too upset to continue.

Once they did get home, reality hit them again. They had barely shut the doors on the car when the boys came running out of the house. Juni headed straight for his brother; Chika and Kaoru were wrapped around Tetsu before he had time to blink. He held them both as they cried, and then they each kissed his cheek before moving aside for his sons.

There was no telling how long he’d spent consoling his boys and drying their tears, but he did so without hesitation. Not only had they lost their father, but they’d been the ones to find him, to realize he was dead before anyone else. They would need all the help they could give, and more. And with that thought in his head, he noticed movement at the front door.

Kou had carried Megumi out, and had just set her down on the stoop. She was clutching his hand, her dark hair was a mess, and her thumb was in her mouth as tears ran down her face. Tetsu nearly lost his already tenuous hold on his emotions. For just the briefest moment, he was looking at his daughter when she was three, holding Kei’s hand, and crying. She’d accidentally knocked over Tetsu’s laptop and thought she was in so much trouble. His adorable little girl who they all doted on and spoiled, now looking lost and broken. She was too young for this.

Akira and Juni had seen her, too, and moved just enough to clear a space for her. And she ran; she ran to them, tripping over her own feet to get to them. Tetsu moved to catch her up in his arms before she fell, and he held her tight as she cried all over again. The four of them huddled there, in the front yard, mourning the loss of their most important person in the world. Kou and Keiji took their boys back into the house, to give them some time alone, and to mourn as their own family unit.

~*~*~

It was almost dawn by the time they were able to get the kids asleep. They knew each one was fighting sleep, afraid of the dreams they might have. Eventually, they each fell into an exhausted slumber in the futon pillow blanket nest the adults made for them in the living room. They were a tangle of arms and legs, and somehow, Megumi had worked herself into the middle of the lot. Tetsu, Kou, and Keiji watched over them, until Tetsu left for a few minutes. He said he’d come back, but then, he didn’t.

Kou found him, fifteen minutes later, sitting on the porch out back, leaning against the post, staring up at the sky. It was still dark, but slight traces of gray could be seen on the eastern horizon. Stars still littered the sky, and the crescent moon was slowly giving way to her brother sun.

He sat down cross-legged between Tetsu and the open door, just waiting. Waiting for when Tetsu would need someone to unleash on. They’d known each other the longest out of the four - no, now it was three - of them, and Kou knew that Tetsu was holding everything in, trying to keep himself together, not just for the kids, but for everyone.

Kou couldn’t help but think of how similar Tetsu and Kei were, in that respect. They were both like… like pressure cookers, keeping all their emotions inside, letting them build up and build up until the pressure was too much. Sometimes, they were able to let that pressure release without too much damage. But sometimes, they’d just explode. He could see that Tetsu was nearing that point, and Kou was ready for it. The yelling, the screaming, the need to hit something, anything. Kou was ready.

“I don’t think I can do it, Kou,” Tetsu finally said, his voice broken from unshed tears. “I don’t think I can move on without him.”

“Don’t say that,” Kou told him firmly. “You can, and you will. You have to.”

“It’s just… I’m missing half of everything.”

“I know.”

It was that moment that Tetsu exploded. He stood up and ranged out into the back yard, pacing angrily from one end to the other, swiping at the tears falling down his face, until he saw the small corner garden with all of Kei’s favorite flowers. Kou moved faster than he ever had in his life, racing to stop in front of Tetsu before he destroyed the garden.

“Don’t you dare,” he growled, hands on Tetsu’s arms, holding him back. “Don’t you dare ruin that garden.”

“Why not?! Why should they be here and not him?!” He struggled to get past Kou, his arm outstretched as if he could grab the flowers from where he was.

“Because they’re not only his flowers, but yours too!” Kou shouted, trying to get through to him. Who cared if he woke everyone up in the neighborhood? “Every time he mentioned a new flower he liked, found fascinating, whatever… you went out of your way to get it for him. Even flowers that aren’t native to Japan, you brought them here, and planted them. Kei took care of them, loved them, and made sure they would survive. Now, you have to do it for him!”

Tetsu shoved away from Kou, resuming his angry pacing around the yard. He was trying to regain control of himself, but it was an effort he was failing at. Kou slowly moved closer.

“18 years,” Tetsu started up again. “We met 18 years ago, do you remember?” He didn’t sound angry anymore, but there was still an edge to his voice.

“Yeah,” Kou replied carefully. “You saw him walking outside of the third gym…”

“No,” Tetsu interrupted. “Not then. We met two months before that, in Sendai. I saw him standing there, watching Shrimpy and Inuoka bouncing around like idiots. I couldn’t help myself, and I went to go tease him.” He stopped and started chuckling even as more tears fell. “Kei turned to look at me, to politely tell me to fuck off. But I knew it then. I knew he was the one.”

Kou moved closer; he was just outside of arm’s reach, but it wouldn’t take much to get to Tetsu when he needed to. Movement from the house caught his attention; Keiji stood there, silent and patient, ready to help.

“Why?!” Tetsu moaned, his knees gave out and he fell to the ground. Kou managed to catch him before he ended up face first on the ground. Keiji raced over and knelt down with both of them. “Why?! He was too young! He wasn’t supposed to go until we were old and gray! He wasn’t supposed to leave us behind! He wasn’t supposed to leave before me! Why?! WHY?!”

They held onto him, cried with him, and tried to keep him from completely shattering apart. Tetsu was their brother, and it hurt to see him broken. But… they needed him; his children, and theirs. They needed him. They weren’t going to let him go, no matter how much he wanted to follow Kei.

And they stayed there as the sun rose on their first day without Kei; husband, father, son, brother, best friend. Perhaps they had at least one thing to be thankful for; Kei had made sure that nearly everything would be taken care of without them having to think too much about it. Really, all they had to do is make phone calls to friends and family, and set a date for the funeral and wake.

But for one day, they would only make a few calls. Mom and Akiteru first, then the kids’ schools, and finally workplaces. Once that was finished, they’d spend the rest of the day mourning together.