Parody of the Rings: Fellowship of the...Ah who the hell are we kidding?

As nighht finally began to fall, every Hobbit in the Shire sudddenly appeared at the party field.
Bilbo: I think we need a bigger field.
The music starts to play. Merry and Pippin are showing up everywhere, singing and dancing. This is indeed Gandalfs worst nightmare.
Gandalf: DEAR GOD!!! A shire full of Merrys and Pippins!!!
Gandalf goes about setting off his fireworks.
Gandalf: You all had better appritiate thiss. I went all the way to Mexico to get these.
Frodo: Where's Mexico?
Gandalf: NEVER you MIND!!
Frodo then goes and find Sam sitting alone and drooling quite heavily. Frodo then sees that he is looking at Rosie Cotton, his true love.
Frodo: Why don't you get off your fat ass and dance with her?
Sam: I am not fat!! I'm just big boned.
Frodo: Yeah, just keep telling your self that. In the mean time...
Frodo grabs Sam by the arm and shoves him at Rosie, who has just started the Tango. Needless to say, Sam is vanquished.
Bilbo sit telling some Hobbit children a story.
Bilbo: No one could mistake my dillema. There I was, at the mercy of three monsterous...Door to door sales men. They were discussing, right there at my very door, all the needless things they were going to make me buy.
Young Hobbit: What did you do?!
Bilbo: Why I slammed the door in their face. After that, I set up my mine field. Keeps S-B's and salesmen out.
Young Hobbit: That story sucked!!
Bilbo, now somewhat enraged, picks up the young Hobbit, walks a short distance, and throws him in the river.
Bilbo: AND stay out!!
Gandalf: You do know that Hobbits swim like stones?
Bilbo: Oh, forgetful me.
A short while later, the childrens' mothher comes to collect them.
Bilbo: Oh are these all yours? Twenty? My goodness. Well now you have one less mouth to feed.
Gandalf is setting off fireworks still, and is unaware that Merry has throw Pippin into the back of his cart to steal one.
Merry: Alright, you got it?
Pippin: Thhe big one?
Merry: Yes!
Pippin: Sure thing!
He jumps down from the cart and they rush into a tent. Merry lights it, but nothing happens.
Merry: What's this?!
Gandalf: (peeking his head in) It's idiot proof. Now you two, if you'd follow me, there is a large pile of dishes that needs to be washed.
Simetime later, Merry and Pippin are being overseen by Gandalf. Thehy then hear that Bilbo is going to make a speech.
Bilbo: Okay, as you all know, I'm nutty as a fruitcake, but I just had to have a captive audience for this. I know half of you, half as well as I should like, and I like less than hhalf of you half as well as you deserve.
Everyone is confused by this, exept the S-B's who cheer,. and obviously know what it means.
Bibo: Anyway, I called you all here for two reasons. Fist of all, It's my birthday!!! But you already knew that. Didn't you?
About five Hobbits cheer to confirm this.
Bilbo: Also it is Frodoo's birthday, and he comes into his inheretence today.
The S-B's growl
Bilbo: Oh, mad dogs. Anyway, I am going away, I shall never see any of you again. Thank you. I am gooing away now!
Bilbo disappears, but in the middle of his speech, everyone had gone back to eating and hadn't noticed.
Gandalf: Well where's the shock in that?
Gandalf goes up to BagEnd to see Bilbo off.

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