Tears of the Night

Almost immediately after Elladan collapsed from his grief, he was carted off to a nearby bed where he could rest. Elrond, after seeing to the comfort of his firstborn, slowly sank down next to Elrohir. In the aftermath of what had occurred, he had perhaps grown even more wan. Barely did he even draw breath anymore.

He closed his eyes. 'No, my son, no,' he whispered silently, his heartache engulfing him. 'Do not leave us… To lose you… Elrohir, no…'

When Elrond opened his eyes again, he found his cheeks covered in anguished tears. The agony in his soul was unbearable. Everything inside of him twisted in denial at the thought of Elrohir forsaking life for Námo’s Halls. How could anyone bear such pain? Only once before…

A small sob escaped his lips as the thought, only half-formed, filled his mind. Celebrían. Only her loss had caused something like this in him. And now his decision to allow Galadriel to mute her memory had been for naught. He now faced the pain in spite of his attempts to avoid it.

Agony ripped through him. His wife was gone, perhaps until the world was remade, and now he stood to lose his sons as well. Elrond had no illusions now. He was certain if Elrohir died, Elladan would not linger long. Nothing could keep him here if his brother was gone.

Elrond violently pushed himself up, away from Elrohir’s still form and towards the balcony. He needed fresh air. He had to get out, away from the oppressiveness of death that lingered in the room.

Staggering through the doors, he managed to catch himself on the railing. Clenching it tightly, Elrond sought desperately to regain control of his emotions. As he battled, he raised his eyes up towards the sky, towards the stars that now lit the inky black night.

'O Eärendil, speak to thy tormented child,' Elrond called out silently in anguish. 'My son is forsaking life out of guilt. I know not how to ease his pain and call him back. How can I lose him now? Help me, please, Father! Please!'

But the Evening Star did not send deign to send him any sign that he had been heard. Elrond bowed his head, defeat seeping into his weary body. He had done all he could to assure his sons they were not responsible for their mother’s plight, but still guilt tormented their souls. What more could he do? He had done his best to comfort them, holding them in the after days of Celebrían’s departure as they wept. He had allowed them to cry and rave against the world, just providing a gentle, comforting presence. What else was there to be attempted?

Elrond looked up again at his father’s star. Both Eärendil and Elwing were but distant, shadowed figures in his mind. Little did he remember of either of them, aside from that his mother had been a warm, safe presence, and his father a stern, but no less loving, figure. Círdan had oft told him that his father had been a disciplined man and had sought to instill that in both of his sons in the short time he had with them. When either he or Elros had done wrong, not even Elwing would stand in the way of their father’s punishments, which were always just. He…

Elrond’s eyes widened as the thought came upon him. He had never truly taken Círdan’s words as anything more than an attempt to give Elrond insight to his parents. Could they also hold another method…

He straightened up, pondering. If he did what he was thinking, he would be taking a gamble. It might bring Elrohir back to them, but he was so weak now, it could very well be the final push he needed to enter the Halls of Waiting. And his brother would follow. It was all or nothing.

But what choice did he have? Elrohir was not responding nor listening to the kind, gentle, and pleading words of his father and brother. Elrond doubted even Arwen could pull him back at this point. There had to be another way.

There was no choice, really. Glancing up one last time, Elrond whispered a few words of thanks to his father before entering Elrohir’s room. His father could have very well indeed assisted in saving the lives of his grandsons.

But Elrond had to hurry. Little time remained.