Parody of the Rings: Fellowship of the...Ah who the hell are we kidding?

Sam and Frodo are walking across a field when suddenly Sam stops.
Sam: This is it.
Frodo: This is what?
Sam: If I go one step further; it'll be the furthest from home I've ever been.
Frodo: Whatever Sam. Remeber what Bilbo used to say...
Sam: The only good Sackville-Baggins is a dead Sackville-Baggins?
Frodo: No! He used to say "only an Idiot wouldn't take one more step".
Sam: Oh.
They continue on their way. They come to a corn field and become lost immediatly.
Frodo: Where the hell are we?
Sam: Oh don't start!
Frodo: No really. Where the hell are we?
Sam: I don't know. You're the one who suggested a shortcut.
Frodo: You didn't have to follow me.
Sam: Well, Gandalf said "Don't you lose him, or I'll bat your balls right outa the park." I said what park and he said, "Never you mind"!
Frodo: Well we are still in the Shire, What could possibly happen?
Suddenly Merry and Pippin come bursting through the field, arms full of vegtables and electronics.
Merry: Frodo?
Frodo: What have you done?
An angry voice can be heard coming thhrough the field.
Voice: Come back here you little bastards!!!
Pippin: We stole his veggies.
Merry: And his stereo.
Pippin: And did some fooling around with his wife.
Merry: Talk about anawsome threesome.
Sam: You guys are sick!
They all begin to run. They come to bank and are just able to stop and then Sam crashes into them.
Merry: (falling) CRAP IN A HAT !!!!
They fall to the road and Pippin nearly falls in poo.
Pippin: Ooh, that was close.
Sam: Trust a Took and a Brandybuck.
Merry: And whats that supposed to mean. This is only a shortcut.
Sam: A shortcut to what?
Pippin: Mushrooms!
Sam and Merry push Pippin away to get there first and he falls in the poo.
Pippin: DAMMIT!!
Frodo: We should get off the road.
Sam: Why?
Frodo: Never you MIND! Just do it.
They get off the oad and then they hear a vehicle drive up. They are hidden behind the branch and can not see it, but it is the vehicle of the head Ring-Wraith. It is a brightly painted yellow Ford pickup truck with darkly tinted windows and "Where's the Cream Filling" printed on the back windshield. He sniffs around for a moment and then gets back in and drives off. The hobbit emerge.
Sam: Good thing Pippin smells bad, the creature would have looked if it didn't smell so bad under here.
Pippin: Thanks a lot.